Jump to content

gain her trust or ruin her dreams?


vitadolce

Recommended Posts

help me guys,

i've been dating this girl for more than 4months, i think we're getting serious and i've been met her parents.

but lately she told me to that she really want to move to another college abroad (she's in a our local college now), it's okay with me if she wanna move there since it's not far away from our city and she can go back if there's holiday.

but she said that it's hard for her to leave me alone here, it's better to breakup if she really moved.

what should i do? should i convince her heart to not move abroad? but i feel like ruining her dreams, or gaining her trust to do LDR? but she's too afraid that i will cheat

i really love her so much, and actually i really confident in LDR cause i take this relationship seriously

i've talk to her about this topic everyday in the past 1 month, and she will think carefully about her decision (she's not decide yet)

 

please share your thoughts or what should i do?

thanks, and sorry for bad english :rolleyes:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell her that "she's got to do what she's got to do"

 

You certainly want her to go abroad and do her thing there, but trying to convince someone to stay with you in an LDR, just inst going to work.

Youre gonna have to leave the ball in her court and let her decide.

 

And if she wants to break it off with you, youre just going to have to come to terms and accept that.

Seriously

 

If you argue with her, its just going to drive her away

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Badly mis-read this....deleted my post..apologies OP!

Edited by GemmaUK
Link to post
Share on other sites

She had to follow her dream. LDRs are possible. Once she has an education it may lead her back to you.

 

However, if you try to hold her back, eventually she will resent you.

 

Remember the old saying:

 

If you love someone let them go. If they come back to you, they are yours. If the do not come back, they never were yours.

 

yes it will be hard to be apart but technology makes it easier to overcome distance.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill

Four months of relationship isn't a long time on which to base a life changing decision.

 

If your relationship were to survive in the long term, it's got to be based on mutual support and encouragement. Trying to talk her out of what she wants to do is exactly the opposite of how you support the happiness of someone you love.

 

To last, your relationship also has to be able to endure all sorts of changes and challenges. This could be one of them.

 

If I were you, I would declare your love for her, and your support for her dreams. If she decides to go, then you want to continue to be together and you'll do what you can to make it work long distance.

 

At the end of the day, if it's meant to be, it will work out.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Chalkdust89

If you ruin her dreams just so she stays in a relationship with you, she may come to resent you.

 

Long distance relationships are really difficult, but not impossible. If you really want to do one, do some research on how to make them work and show her what you find. Maybe she will appreciate the effort you're putting in upfront and work with you to figure out how to keep things going if she does end up studying abroad. Make sure she is ready to put in the effort too.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Four months of relationship isn't a long time on which to base a life changing decision.

 

If your relationship were to survive in the long term, it's got to be based on mutual support and encouragement. Trying to talk her out of what she wants to do is exactly the opposite of how you support the happiness of someone you love.

 

To last, your relationship also has to be able to endure all sorts of changes and challenges. This could be one of them.

 

If I were you, I would declare your love for her, and your support for her dreams. If she decides to go, then you want to continue to be together and you'll do what you can to make it work long distance.

 

At the end of the day, if it's meant to be, it will work out.

 

so what you mean is i should stop to talk about that, support her dreams and show her that i love her so much, right? i'll do whatever it takes to do LDR but she told me that she'll have a never-ending worries and bad feelings about me, it's really hard to gain her trust

thank you so much for your thought, i really appreciate that :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
todreaminblue

I gave up my dreams early in a long term relationship that i had......i could have gone out done a degree and worked ....my ex didnt want me to .....any dreams i had always came last when it was me with him......because my love that i had was a longer held dream..so i gave everything else up.....would i do it again if i loved soemoen to support them in their dreams......yes

 

 

but in that yes is sadness ...real sadness that my dreams are never going to be as important to the guy i am with as supporting theirs are to me...love is the most important dream i have fulfilled.....unconditional love.....to have given ....and have received from my children....my dreams will always take a back seat to the guy I love and i am with....i have never driven the car......lol...probably a good thing.....

 

but one day i hope to find a guy who can see my dreams and why they are worth following.......that a guy might share the same dream with me and want to be with me ...now theres a dream...smilin

 

 

to achieve my dream i need a serious education a committed one..to have medical savvy background along with a spiritual one.......i know that now.....i want to do a mission where i can contribute to the most people .......so if i have faith and drive and a guy who sees my vision of a dream.....then my future will be just that.....fullfilling a complete dream.....including a really special guy

 

 

if the woman loves you she will probably give up her dream to stay with you...can you live with that?....deb

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...