OLD _ What is your experience (numbers)?

[isisisweeping]

Okay, profile up one week. Female. 30.

 

 

 

 

First two days - 25 new messages that were not filtered for low match percentage. (includes responses to messages I sent out.)

Third day - 5 new messages that were not filtered for low match percentage.

Fourth through seventh days - no new messages - only existing correspondences.

 

 

Total filtered for low match percentage - 47.

 

 

Average visitors per week --- 129 (might count time profile was deactivated from February to now)

 

 

The Liking Profile thing- I have way more 4-5 star ratings than messages. I assume when I see that it means there's some reason they don't think they'd date me or aren't interested.

 

 

Quality: I am very impressed with the responses and initial messages received, and the profiles. I suspect men are better at this than I am because I could not figure out introductory messages that reference the profile without sounding cloying. Seems like a lot of very decent guys. The messages that were filtered for low match percentage were not interesting from the few I clicked on to see why somebody would message me when we disagree on so much, along the lines of "u r hot" and "hello gorgeous" but were not the terrifying messages my friends have had.)

 

 

I've met two in person and had a reasonable time and fun conversation. I have enough continuing correspondence now that I'm probably going to take my profile down because I hate getting a message from someone that seems great and not responding but I'm at my limit, or past it, for number of people I'm getting to know.

 

 

 

 

What is your experience?

[Gaeta]

I get a profile up, within 2-3 hours I have 1,000 views and 50 + messages.

 

Messages are usually from men 10-13 years younger, married men, men looking for fun, couples, and even the occasional woman. Amoung that a few interesting profiles, usually I can set up 2-3 different meetings a week.

 

In 2.5 years of looking I got tons and tons of 1 coffee-dates (over 125), a handful of 3-4-5 dates then it aborts, and only 1 serious relationship that lasted 6 months.

 

On the other end I know plenty of people, friends and family members, that met Mr. right or Miss right after 2-3 dates.

[DrSimple]

Male. Overweight (70lbs down, more to go ), confident, and witty. I pick my targets based on a baseline of compatibility. Do not run a "quantity" game.

 

Totals coming from a total base of contacted users. Perhaps 2 years of OLD up time during 4-5 years.

 

~ 66% reply to a first message

~ 50% have ended up with a first date

~ 20% have ended up with a second date

~ 5% have ended up with a third date

0% have ended up in a relationship

[Andy_K]

I will sometimes get a couple new contacts in a week if I'm active. That's two more unsolicited mails than most guys get.

 

If I sent out around 25 messages, I can expect about half a dozen responses, of which maybe 3 or 4 will go beyond a first message. From there I might get 2 phone numbers, and arrange 1 date which there's 50/50 chance she will bail out on. Should it go ahead, there's maybe a 1 in 5 chance we will get on well enough for a second date.

[longjohn]

As a male I typically initiated 90+% of all conversations with a high number not receiving a response. I'm quite picky and choosy about who I'd message and do put some effort into the message. I wasn't hunting out a super model but preference was compatibility, stability, sanity and location. Some did respond days or even a week later. I can only assume the ladies work through mounds of potential dates and if one of us fella's make the cut we get an answer.

 

 

Typically I'll go though and filter/search for what I'm after e.g. single, no children etc. I'll send out maybe 20 or so messages in the first week. Get maybe 50% response rate within a week. From that I'll weed it out down to about 6 or 7. Of those maybe only 2 or 3 might make it to a phone call stage. From there list in order of preference of whom to meet for coffee first. Meet lady 1 for coffee and decide if I should do a proper date if not on to lady number 2.

 

To be honest I've had more luck on a free site vs the paid sites. I've also found all the same people on both sites.

[PegNosePete]

I got around 1-2 new messages a week, and about 20% response rate to my messages. About half of them would lead to a conversation and almost always that would lead to a phone number and a meeting. A few times I had cancellations the day before but no "no shows". From about 20-30 meets I had one short relationship and currently entering a long one (3 months so far and going strong).

 

My gf was a bit luckier, although she exchanged messages with a few others, I was the first and only guy she met.

[somedude81]

OLD profiles on OKC and POF.

 

Up for around six months.

 

Never been contacted by a woman.

 

 

Never had a woman reply to me.

 

My profile has lots of pictures of me on it.

 

Zero percent success rate.

[PegNosePete]

Zero percent success rate.

Try this: Profile Reviews chat and forums

[isisisweeping]

OLD profiles on OKC and POF.

 

Up for around six months.

 

Never been contacted by a woman.

 

 

Never had a woman reply to me.

 

My profile has lots of pictures of me on it.

 

Zero percent success rate.

 

I don't know about everyone else, but I typically hardly look at the profile. I look at match percent and the text, then the questions, then I might take a quick look at the photos to make sure they're not all partying or something to show we are incompatible.

 

 

Though it may be I am not average because here, like among my friends, it sounds like I get far, far less but better quality messages than the average woman.

[somedude81]

Try this: Profile Reviews chat and forums

 

Thanks a lot PnP!

 

I definitely will.

 

I didn't even know that POF had forums.

[isisisweeping]

I don't know about everyone else, but I typically hardly look at the profile. I look at match percent and the text, then the questions, then I might take a quick look at the photos to make sure they're not all partying or something to show we are incompatible.

 

 

Though it may be I am not average because here, like among my friends, it sounds like I get far, far less but better quality messages than the average woman.

 

Hardly look at the pictures, not profile. Couldn't edit fast enough.

[slizl]

I have tried OLD a couple of times. My responce rate is 10-20%. I am divorced with two kids, so I assume it drops the rate down bit. I am 35 and message women between the ages of 27-35.

[normal person]

Male, 27.

 

I don't send messages unless I get a "like/wink" or message first.

 

On Match and OKCupid I'll get about 25 "likes" a week each and 0-10 messages in the same time frame. I'll go out with 1 or 2 of the girls that week. Of those, I've only really liked 3 or 4 after a year of doing it. Saw a few of those girls multiple times but it didn't work out. Overall it's been a really fun, enlightening experience though. I wouldn't have met all those people otherwise and it really cuts down on the legwork you'd have to do.

[somedude81]

Male, 27.

 

I don't send messages unless I get a "like/wink" or message first.

 

On Match and OKCupid I'll get about 25 "likes" a week each and 0-10 messages in the same time frame. I'll go out with 1 or 2 of the girls that week. Of those, I've only really liked 3 or 4 after a year of doing it. Saw a few of those girls multiple times but it didn't work out. Overall it's been a really fun, enlightening experience though. I wouldn't have met all those people otherwise and it really cuts down on the legwork you'd have to do.

 

25 likes a week!

 

Are you a male model?

 

Perhaps you should change your forum name because it doesn't seem to be accurate.

[longjohn]

I don't know about everyone else, but I typically hardly look at the profile. I look at match percent and the text, then the questions, then I might take a quick look at the photos to make sure they're not all partying or something to show we are incompatible.

 

 

Though it may be I am not average because here, like among my friends, it sounds like I get far, far less but better quality messages than the average woman.

I've dated women matched at 90%+ with hundreds of questions answered each. They lacked the all important spark, chemistry etc when first meeting. They where nice and perfect on paper but not the right lady in the flesh. I've dated a lady rated at 65% and we instantly liked each other have a scary amount in common. Ever since I've paid less attention to the match % and more to the content of the profile and pictures and the feel you get for the person while talking via email or phone.

[GemmaUK]

Female 45.

 

I've used OLD on and off over about 7 years.

With an active profile (I just took my photos off and changed my description to not looking on the UK based one that I do log into as I/ not interested at the moment) I get about 200 views and around 150 first mails per week.

Most of those are filtered for no pics, too far away toomuch of an age gap for me. Most of the rest say 'hi' and have barely any profile at all.

I've met 7 for first dates.

3 I had relationships with.

2 of those lasted over 6 months and less than a year. One of those three I met at a meet from the site as I did some hosting at one stage.

[mr_dave]

For a time I was on POF, OK Cupid and match.

My foray into online dating lasted around four months, with about 400 detailed first messages sent, about 30 replies, messaged first by about fifteen women (one of whom I was attracted to), profiles liked by maybe 20?

Of those I got 4 first dates, two second dates, and nothing further.

Needless to say my profiles got deleted!

 

I ended up getting the impression that match was a bit of a scam. I sent out a lot of interesting first messages, they would always be online after I'd sent them, I got a connect package so they could message me back without paying, and yet my profile was never even viewed!

[normal person]

25 likes a week!

 

Are you a male model?

 

Perhaps you should change your forum name because it doesn't seem to be accurate.

 

I'm not a male model. Although I do live in New York and there are tons of women here and the culture of the city is that they're all pretty liberal with dating/meeting people. All I do is boost (meaning you get put at the top of the search) my profile, which I put a lot of work into, when I know a lot of girls are online (8-11 pm) so they all see it.

 

I should probably also say that of the 25, usually 20 of them are some combination of not at all what I'm looking for, geographically undesirable, too tall, and/or completely uninspired messages/profiles. 3-4 are on the fence and that leaves 1-2 who I'll go out with that week. Only about every 6 weeks will I get a jackpot -- a funny, inspired message from a gorgeous girl with her act together who's under 5'8".

 

To be honest I never thought it was that odd until I started looking at all the threads here.

Edited July 24, 2014 by normal person

[somedude81]

I'm not a male model. Although I do live in New York and there are tons of women here and the culture of the city is that they're all pretty liberal with dating/meeting people. All I do is boost (meaning you get put at the top of the search) my profile, which I put a lot of work into, when I know a lot of girls are online (8-11 pm) so they all see it.

 

I should probably also say that of the 25, usually 20 of them are some combination of not at all what I'm looking for, geographically undesirable, too tall, and/or completely uninspired messages/profiles. 3-4 are on the fence and that leaves 1-2 who I'll go out with that week. Only about every 6 weeks will I get a jackpot -- a funny, inspired message from a gorgeous girl with her act together who's under 5'8".

 

To be honest I never thought it was that odd until I started looking at all the threads here.

 

Ah, so you know how to work the system.

 

It also sounds like you know how to make a good profile.

[isisisweeping]

I've dated women matched at 90%+ with hundreds of questions answered each. They lacked the all important spark, chemistry etc when first meeting. They where nice and perfect on paper but not the right lady in the flesh. I've dated a lady rated at 65% and we instantly liked each other have a scary amount in common. Ever since I've paid less attention to the match % and more to the content of the profile and pictures and the feel you get for the person while talking via email or phone.

I tried talking to a couple with low match percentage and they seriously bothered me.

It probably has to do with recognizing what you really care about in the questions and rating appropriately though.

The things I listed as important ARE very important to me and what I'm attracted to... (Intelligence turns me on, and I couldn't date a person who wasn't skeptical of religion, woo, and pseudoscience.) I've been most pleased with my 90+% matches.

 

 

Plus, the low match messages seem to be where the less impressive messages go to die from when I peak in there.

[insert_name]

I wasn't on there very long, but heres mine (for what its worth). Although in microcosm my experience still seems to be roughly in line (ratio of contact to date conversion) with what most other guys get so I think my experience was 'typical'.

 

About me:

 

Male - 34 average looks, a 6, possibly a 7 on a good day

 

Filter: No kids, age 25 - 34, average looks (imo) or better

 

Context:

 

Main profile pic is heavily posed pic of me scrubbed up well in a shirt and blazer looking (in other peoples words) like a male model - thought that so much effort in the profile pic would be a good thing, but don't think it is in practice!

 

I live in a reasonably large town, there are loads of girls on Tinder in this area yet the pickings are slim on actual dating sites, for a start there are about 50 girls in total and there is no middle ground, most are, being brutally honest, well below average in looks with a handful that look well above average so options were slim to start with, hence the low volume of messages sent

 

I was on there for 4 weeks, concentrating on one interaction at a time:

 

Results:

 

1 unsolicited message (although we had both 'liked' each other on the sites mobile app so she initiated after we matched)

4 messages sent to specific girls (rather than a 'numbers game' approach)

 

From that effort I have had 1 contact that lead to 2 dates (disastrous second date, she didn't want a 3rd)

2 who never replied and, from the girl that I actually had most in common with, a long drawn out conversation (at her insistence) over the course of weeks from the site to an IM app before she told me she was leaving the country!

 

After that last interaction I shut down my account as it felt like hard work just getting a girl to go on a date.

 

Now I'm re-writing my profile and thinking of having another go, from a man's POV I'm not sure its worth the effort of writing taking time to write thought out profiles/opening messages really for the pitiful return.

[isisisweeping]

I

Now I'm re-writing my profile and thinking of having another go, from a man's POV I'm not sure its worth the effort of writing taking time to write thought out profiles/opening messages really for the pitiful return.

 

 

I don't think it has to be very complicated if the profile is good. (Longer messages required for a response from a sparse profile.) I do think most women like to see something to suggest you read her profile and didn't just look at the photos or messaged everybody in a broad canvas.

[Keenly]

I don't know about everyone else, but I typically hardly look at the profile. I look at match percent and the text, then the questions, then I might take a quick look at the photos to make sure they're not all partying or something to show we are incompatible.

 

 

Though it may be I am not average because here, like among my friends, it sounds like I get far, far less but better quality messages than the average woman.

 

The okcupid match percentage algorithm is based on almost nothing. Do not use it as a filter, as it does not show any useful info.

[mr_dave]

For a time I was on POF, OK Cupid and match.

My foray into online dating lasted around four months, with about 400 detailed first messages sent, about 30 replies, messaged first by about fifteen women (one of whom I was attracted to), profiles liked by maybe 20?

Of those I got 4 first dates, two second dates, and nothing further.

Needless to say my profiles got deleted!

 

I ended up getting the impression that match was a bit of a scam. I sent out a lot of interesting first messages, they would always be online after I'd sent them, I got a connect package so they could message me back without paying, and yet my profile was never even viewed!

 

And I forgot to add, as soon as I had let my paid subscription expire and became an unpaid member, I started to get email after email saying "Members are interested in you!"

[Fitguyinfl]

I've been OLD for 5 years.

 

1 LTR 1.5 years

 

1 STR 3 months

 

Probably around 25-30 first dates. Only 20% of those resulted in second dates.