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Why would she do this to him?


HangOnThere

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HangOnThere

This is a story about my best mate who I'm trying to help but he can't motivate himself because of depression.

 

A friend of mine used to be very close to a girl for months, they would always talk every day and she seemed more interested than him. She was always wanting to talk, asking me where is when he's unavailable, I know the girl when I was younger but not very much nowadays.

I've got to say, they seemed like a perfect match for the future, they had similar interests and my friend is a nice, good guy. They are both students and go to different colleges about an hour apart from each other, but he will be moving house which is two hours away from her.

 

They were great friends and she seemed to like him, and then revealed she 'wants to like him' but believed he would meet someone new when he moved house and she claimed she was b*tchy. She seemed quite unsure and confusing towards him, because she said she wasn't ready and I heard her give sentences that would describe how special he is to her, as he really supported her through tough times or things she was upset over. He would always come in from college and do his work, to speak to her for the night, and he had to babysit sometimes.

 

So it went on for another few months, because she wasn't ready. However, when I was at his house, they were talking on video chat She seemed to be not herself and not very talkative. Anyway, he asked her out, sweetly, and then she started to look quite shy and closed, bearing in mind he's made her feel confident and always been there for her. They don't see each other very often, as they don't live that close. Then, when he asked to meet up, she started going cold and shy, looking down, and just said 'goodnight!' and cut him off. She started backing off, and two weeks later, she texted him and wanted to end everything. She lead him on and treated him like that, and he has never seen her ever again since.

 

He was very hurt by the text, and was in bits for days. He said she was someone he believed she could stick with for a very long time, and she ends it by a blunt text and never spoke again. She said she hopes to be friends but they haven't spoke since. He's worried in case he'll never find somebody like her ever again, because he feels wasted and has very little motivation. I've tried to console my friend but he's depressed all the time, as he was mislead in my eyes.

 

So, why do females do this sometimes? I feel that she used him for attention and disappeared because she got 'bored.' He was absent for a long time, didn't know where his head was and felt like his life was over. Thankfully, he is a bit better now.

 

- What has he done wrong? How can he and I help pick himself up again? I felt very sorry for him, and his parents are finding it difficult to help him too.

 

- Do you think they should become friends again? Was there a misunderstanding?

 

I thank you for reading this :)

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ExpatInItaly

Seems your mate beat you to it; his thread is already in the Long-Distance Relationship forum. Refer to the one created by the user Chewbacca.

Edited by ExpatInItaly
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todreaminblue

I dont know why, she would i don't.....at a loss......makes me feel a little sad this post for some reason

 

i do know i find it hard to keep an online friendship when i have real friendships......and i try to focus on them but i dont really drop people....i would always answer if they needed me......or messaged me......

 

 

 

 

i dont know if they can be friends again...the future knows that one about your friend...., i think hurts can be overcome with time and patience....a bit of compassion and understanding thrown in for good measure.......i do know that to be true from personal experience on myself getting over hurts delivered by friends and miscommunications

 

 

 

i hope your friend finds true friends......like obviously he has in you........you are that friend...at this time the female is not a true friend to him and not really congruent with making him a happier person....the future is always uncertain and that could change......if he accept sthat change by then when it happens.....anything is possible..send some prayers up for him to meet the nice sweet girl or woman he deserves.....god works in mysterious ways....deb

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I think she was keen at first but then as she got to know him, she lost interest. And who knows what else might have gone on between them you don't know about, too.

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