Online Dating - Is my profile letting me down?

[PDC]

I really need some help. Can anyone take a look at my OKCupid profile and tell me where I'm going wrong?

 

OkCupid | DJ_Paul / 37 / M / Southend-on-Sea, United Kingdom

 

I've used OKCupid for quite a while now (as well as other sites like eHarmony & Match.com) and have yet to to receive a single reply. So I'd like to know if my profile is driving people away. My guess would be the photos, but that's just because I'm in them and I'm not a good looking guy, but they'd be no point in having a profile with no photos.

 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Eivuwan]

I really need some help. Can anyone take a look at my OKCupid profile and tell me where I'm going wrong?

 

OkCupid | DJ_Paul / 37 / M / Southend-on-Sea, United Kingdom

 

I've used OKCupid for quite a while now (as well as other sites like eHarmony & Match.com) and have yet to to receive a single reply. So I'd like to know if my profile is driving people away. My guess would be the photos, but that's just because I'm in them and I'm not a good looking guy, but they'd be no point in having a profile with no photos.

 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

I suggest taking some photos in the outdoors. There is something about all the night time and indoor photos that makes everything look depressing. What kind of woman are you looking for?

[Assasda]

Ok, As a dude I'm rating your Profile.

All your picture look cool, except the first 3.

- The first 3 are just a little strange. And the one with the lollipop is a little more niche and suggestive.

 

The "About" Part is a little bad.

The Self-summary seems a little robotic, like a resume type of thing.

 

In "What I'm really good at" You need to be confident, and not be so sheepish. Leave out the "I'm not a good judge of that". That sounds terrible

 

In the "First thing people thing about me" leave out the part "I wish they didnt" because you shouldnt care what people think of you. Youre your own man. If you look intimidating, you cant do anything about that, but you are gentle, and thats who you are.

 

In "I spend a lot of time thinking about" try answring specifically, making a joke, or not answering at all. DOnt say "A lot of things"

 

in the "You should message me because" Make this all about you. Say something like "because I'm a fun guy" because "I will rock your world" because "I'm super interesting". Name a quality about yourself

[Iris17]

I'm a woman and will give you honest opinion. You're not a bad looking guy but most of the photos don't do justice.

 

You should take some of them off. Those ones are ...

 

NUmber 2,3,4 and 7. Take that lollipop photo off! That's off putting.

 

Adding more outdoor photo is a good idea. Everything else seems fine and genuine to me.

[angel.eyes]

Lose the photos of you drinking or half-drunk. You need a full body shot. It looks as if you're trying to hide your weight based on your photo choices. You also need photos of you during daylight hours.

[Fitguyinfl]

1. Wear a nice collared shirt with no hat.

 

2. Take a photo of only you outdoors at someplace interesting.

 

3. Lose the goofy facial expressions.

 

4. Smile.

[d0nnivain]

Your pictures show a fun loving party boy who is all about drinking & gaming / sci-fi. Your words talk about a man with a good job & lots of responsibilities. There's a disconnect.

 

 

I'd keep one casual head shot of just you with no booze & not the lollipop shot (too sexual). Then get at least one full length shot preferably in something more dressy -- a button down or golf shirt will be fine if you don't have a suit.

[PDC]

Okay, thanks for all the replies. I didn't think I'd get any responses so quick, so thank you for that.

 

On the subject of photos, these are probably the only photos that exist of me (apart from ones as a child, which aren't worth using for this). I hate having my photo taken and I usually avoid people when they have a camera out. When it came to adding photos to my profile, I thought about what I hoped to achieve with them. Obviously I wasn't expecting a woman to see one and think "Wow! Where has this gorgeous hunk been all my life?", so I decided to pick ones that say something about my personality and the things I enjoy rather than my looks.

 

I suggest taking some photos in the outdoors. There is something about all the night time and indoor photos that makes everything look depressing. What kind of woman are you looking for?

 

Never really thought of it like that. I suppose because I'm more of a night owl that most of my photos are taken at night. I didn't really think of them as depressing as they remind me of fun times with friends. But I guess to an outsider they wouldn't make that connection. As for the kind of woman I'm looking for, I don't really have a "type" if that's what you mean. The qualities I'm looking for in a woman are the usual ones that I think any guy would be looking for, things like honesty and a good sense of humour. I suppose someone with similar interests would be good, but not essential. I don't want to rule someone out just because they're not into the same music as me or like different movies.

 

Ok, As a dude I'm rating your Profile.

All your picture look cool, except the first 3.

- The first 3 are just a little strange. And the one with the lollipop is a little more niche and suggestive.

 

With the first one came out a bit strange, but I just thought the effect looked cool, in an artistic kinda way. I liked the since of movement that made it look like it was a really lively party. In fact it's probably my favourite, lol.

 

The second one I suppose is a bit silly (I kinda wanted to show a fun side of me), I guess you had to be there to get the joke (we'd been waiting ages for our food to arrive). I think I can see why that one needs to go.

 

The third one I'm not sure what's strange about it? Is it because I'm looking over my shoulder at the camera? It was a spontaneous photo and we were at the front row, so the guy taking the picture just called our names and we looked round.

 

The one with the lollipop was just supposed to be a bit of fun (at least it was at the time). It never even crossed my mind that people would see it as suggestive. To me it was just channeling my inner child, because I'm just a big kid at heart, lol. But if that's what it looks like to others then it's definitely going.

 

Ok, As a dude I'm rating your Profile.

The "About" Part is a little bad.

The Self-summary seems a little robotic, like a resume type of thing.

 

I guess that's because I've had to make so many profiles over the years it's like I'm just going through the motions. That's something I'll have to work on.

 

Ok, As a dude I'm rating your Profile.

In "What I'm really good at" You need to be confident, and not be so sheepish. Leave out the "I'm not a good judge of that". That sounds terrible

 

That's a difficult one. If people tell me I'm good at something, then it's valid, but If I say I'm good at something without anyone else's opinion on it, that's just arrogance. I'm not going to do that because that is not in my nature, and I always try to be myself and not pretend to be something I'm not. If I said "I am good at art" then that would be a straight up lie, I don't think that at all. I don't like putting things on a profile that I know are not true, I simply never lie. I'll just try to word it differently

 

Ok, As a dude I'm rating your Profile.

In the "First thing people thing about me" leave out the part "I wish they didnt" because you shouldnt care what people think of you. Youre your own man. If you look intimidating, you cant do anything about that, but you are gentle, and thats who you are.

 

Everyone cares what people think of them and if they say they don't, they are lying. It may not be the most important thing to them, but there is always a point where other people's opinions matter. If I didn't care about what people thought, then why I'm I bothering asking other people's advice on my profile? I might as well just post my passport photo along with my name, age and location and just say "take it or leave it, I don't care what you think". Most profiles have things like "my eyes" or "my laugh", nice things like that. But looking intimidating isn't a good thing (unless I was a boxer or something), especially when it comes to dating. I've had girls literally run away from me just because they thought I was going to rape them, they even stopped a policeman who came and questioned me. All I was doing was walking home because I'd missed the last bus. That was not a nice feeling, I just kept wondering what hope have I got in finding love if I'm sending the signal "sex offender" just by walking down the street, what will they think when I actually approach them? Anyway, if i shouldn't put that this first opinion is wrong, then I don't want to put "intimidating" at all, and then this section would just be blank.

 

Ok, As a dude I'm rating your Profile.

In "I spend a lot of time thinking about" try answring specifically, making a joke, or not answering at all. DOnt say "A lot of things"

 

Maybe I took this question the wrong way. I don't like the way it's worded, it seems like it's saying "What do you obsess about most?" I can't leave it blank, I read a guide to writing profiles that said never to leave blank sections, it just looks like you can't be bothered. So I'll try the funny route, maybe something like "Why does Donald Duck wear a towel around his waist after a shower, but any other time he doesn't wear trousers anyway?"

 

Ok, As a dude I'm rating your Profile.

in the "You should message me because" Make this all about you. Say something like "because I'm a fun guy" because "I will rock your world" because "I'm super interesting". Name a quality about yourself

 

Seriously? They sound really cheesy, especially "I will rock your world", I would just cringe at the thought of a line like that at the end of my profile.

 

I'm a woman and will give you honest opinion. You're not a bad looking guy but most of the photos don't do justice.

 

You should take some of them off. Those ones are ...

 

NUmber 2,3,4 and 7. Take that lollipop photo off! That's off putting.

 

Adding more outdoor photo is a good idea. Everything else seems fine and genuine to me.

 

They're going. Not sure what's wrong with 3 though?

 

Lose the photos of you drinking or half-drunk. You need a full body shot. It looks as if you're trying to hide your weight based on your photo choices. You also need photos of you during daylight hours.

 

Here's the problem. If I take out the ones where I haven't been drinking, that would only leave the last two. Because I don't like my photo taken, it's only when I've had a drink and lost some of my inhibitions, that I don't care about what I look like in the photo. If you look at the last two, you'll see I'm not smiling, even though I was having a great time that day. It's because going through my head is "Oh no, I'm going to look like a right gormless idiot in this".

 

I never considered a full body shot, maybe I was subconsciously trying to hide them. I don't think a good one of me exists, so what is more important, adding a full body shot or avoiding adding photos where I look horrible? I'd go with the latter, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

1. Wear a nice collared shirt with no hat.

 

2. Take a photo of only you outdoors at someplace interesting.

 

3. Lose the goofy facial expressions.

 

4. Smile.

 

1. Are you talking shirt & tie, like I'm attending a job interview? Because it's very rare for me to be dressed like that, I wouldn't want to give anyone a false impression of me.

2. I'll try to do that.

3. My face always looks goofy, no matter what the expression. I guess my think at the time is "I'm going to look stupid no matter what I do, so I might as well make it funny"

4. I only smile when I'm happy, and I'm not normally happy about having my photo taken. Plus fake smiles always look so bad.

 

Your pictures show a fun loving party boy who is all about drinking & gaming / sci-fi. Your words talk about a man with a good job & lots of responsibilities. There's a disconnect.

 

So should my words match the photos or should my photos match my words? I can't have photos taken of me in the workplace, so it's hard to show that side of my life in pictures. The problem is, as I've said above, I don't like having my photo taken, and the only times a camera comes out seems to be at parties. The only exception is the last two photos, which appear to be a problem as well.

 

I'd keep one casual head shot of just you with no booze & not the lollipop shot (too sexual). Then get at least one full length shot preferably in something more dressy -- a button down or golf shirt will be fine if you don't have a suit.

 

What is with everyone relating the lollipop to something sexual, I'm beginning to think everyone has a one track mind! I'm never going to give my niece a lollipop again now, lol! And isn't "dressy" just being something I'm not? I never wear that sort of thing in day to day life, it's just not me. I don't want to buy something just for the photo, because I'll never wear it again.

 

 

Anyway, thanks for the help everyone, I'll try to do what I can.

[rewl]

That's way too many pics. And there's a section titled "essays" where you literally wrote essays, did the website make you do that or you were just bursting to write your first novel?

[isisisweeping]

Picture number two certainly needs removed. That is not a flattering photo.

 

 

 

 

I would rewrite it in a more active voice and add a little general flirtatious tone. It felt like it dragged a little even though it wasn't excessively long.

[KatZee]

So you wanted some help with it and from an OLD perspective I'll give it to you straight... pics are what makes someone say yes or no. The pictures aren't particularly flattering.

 

Tons of other women are superficial and materialistic... I'm sure that's not what you're looking for but it could be a reason why women you write to don't write back. In your about me alone, you are:

 

An overweight male who eats anything, who sometimes does drugs, who is an atheist, who brings in just $20,000 per year... Not particularly attractive or traits that would draw someone in.

[Eivuwan]

I think you need to get over the camera shyness thing if you want to do online dating. Wear something nice and get a friend to take pictures of you doing things outdoors. If not, then get a photographer to do some professional shots. You need some way to show different aspects of yourself other than the night time events. I agree with the poster who said that your profile and your photos are not telling the same story.

[Noproblem]

What you wrote about yourself is really good and interesting and it shows.. I don't know but it showed that you are really a kind person..

 

 

Your photos ..

 

Hey, let's face it you look like a guy from a metal band.. This your style

not all girls like that, but some do like that..

So either change your style, or change some of your photos

 

You are not bad looking or anything, but you should take more photos and alone ...

Edited July 23, 2014 by Noproblem

[PDC]

That's way too many pics. And there's a section titled "essays" where you literally wrote essays, did the website make you do that or you were just bursting to write your first novel?

 

Not sure if you looked at the page before or after I deleted some photos. It's down to 6, is that still too many? Personally I'd rather have no pictures at all, but that'll just make it harder. As for this Essay Section, it's been a while since I first created the profile, so I can't really remember doing it. I've looked and I can't even find the section so I've no idea what I've written. The sections I can see are "About", "Photos", "Questions", "Personality" and "Tests", can't see anything called "Essays".

 

Picture number two certainly needs removed. That is not a flattering photo.

 

I would rewrite it in a more active voice and add a little general flirtatious tone. It felt like it dragged a little even though it wasn't excessively long.

 

That photo is now gone, depending on when you saw the profile. But to be honest, none of my photo's are flattering. If it's flattering photos I need, then I need to find someone who is good with Photoshop.

 

I don't see where I've written it in a passive voice, do we have different definitions of active & passive voices? I've avoided a flirtatious tone because I don't want to come across as one of the thousands of guys on these sites who are just looking for a quick hook up. And I'm not sure how it can dragged if it wasn't excessively long, that's a contradiction.

 

So you wanted some help with it and from an OLD perspective I'll give it to you straight... pics are what makes someone say yes or no. The pictures aren't particularly flattering.

 

As I've said, no picture of me is going to be flattering. Should I just have no photos at all? How many replies do you think that would get me?

 

Tons of other women are superficial and materialistic... I'm sure that's not what you're looking for but it could be a reason why women you write to don't write back.

 

Tons of other women? Are you sure you're not projecting your own feelings onto all these women?

 

In your about me alone, you are:

 

An overweight male who eats anything, who sometimes does drugs, who is an atheist, who brings in just $20,000 per year... Not particularly attractive or traits that would draw someone in.

 

Yeah, I'm overweight, it's not worth lying about. I can't put "athletic" and hope they don't notice if they meet me.

 

As for "eats anything", what is wrong with that? I'm not a vegetarian or a vegan, so why pretend to be? And I'm not Jewish or Muslim, so I'm not going to put Kosher or Halal. Those are the only options to that question.

 

As for drugs, I have the occasional joint now and then, but I'm not a heavy smoker, but I've seen loads of women's profiles where they've stated on the question about this, that this doesn't bother them. Maybe it's a generational thing, but younger people aren't too bothered by this these days. And incidentally, this is the only thing I've ever touched. I've never done cocaine or amphetamines, and I've never done ecstasy, which surprises a lot of people because I'm a DJ and there are quite a few DJs who do them.

 

The $20,000 a year is actually an error. It should say £20,000 as I'm in the UK, but OKCupid won't let you enter an amount in pounds. Not sure what the exchange rate is at the moment, but last time I went to the States £1 was worth a little under $2, although it's probably changed quite a bit since then. But why should this even be an issue? If a woman is so bothered by how much money I make, I wouldn't even want them to message me. I quit a higher paying job to do what I do and I've never regretted it for a moment. It's far more rewarding than any job I've ever had and I'm proud of the work I do.

 

Now here's the bit I find rather insulting. Why have you listed being an Atheist as a negative quality? That's a positive thing because it shows I have some intelligence and can think for myself. I don't believe in god for the same reason I don't believe in unicorns and pixies, because they don't exist! Religion is full of hatred, bigotry, rape and murder, why would I want any part of that? I'm proud of the fact that I don't just believe some old book, written hundreds of years ago, by people who didn't understand how the world works. I believe in science because it's backed up with evidence, not superstitious nonsense.

 

I think you need to get over the camera shyness thing if you want to do online dating. Wear something nice and get a friend to take pictures of you doing things outdoors. If not, then get a photographer to do some professional shots. You need some way to show different aspects of yourself other than the night time events. I agree with the poster who said that your profile and your photos are not telling the same story.

 

I've thought about getting professional photos done, but I worry that it's just going to seem a bit pretentious. Plus, what exactly can they do? They're not miracle workers.

 

What you wrote about yourself is really good and interesting and it shows.. I don't know but it showed that you are really a kind person..

 

Your photos ..

 

Hey, let's face it you look like a guy from a metal band.. This your style

not all girls like that, but some do like that..

So either change your style, or change some of your photos

 

You are not bad looking or anything, but you should take more photos and alone ...

 

Thank you. Although I never really thought of my style as metal, but I see your point. My style is me and I've always said I can only be myself, so it'll be the photos that are changing.

Edited July 23, 2014 by PDC

[guest569]

Looks alright to me.

 

I don't know about most women, but I would be reluctant to reply because smoking and drug use are deal breakers for me. But your profile content and photos are fine. And atheist definitely gets bonus points in my book .. ??

[The Way I Am]

I liked what you suggested for what you think about being Donald Duck and the towel/pants. It's fun and better than what's there now. And I like your photo caption "I knew hanging out with those rebels would get me into trouble." Shows personality.

 

Under "what I'm doing with my life", if you don't want women to find you intimidating, maybe remove the specifics of what you're going to teach and just leave it that you're going to be teaching soon. I realize you're talking about your job and those things are a necessary part of it, but as a woman, it's a bit off-putting reading that you'll be teaching about physically restraining on your dating profile. lol.

 

Under "first things people notice about me", you come off sweet. But I agree with the person who took issue with the wording "I wish they didn't because that's not me." Too easy to interpret that as having self esteem issues when that's not how you meant it. I'd just change that to "But that's not me."

 

Under "you should message me if", change "If you actually want" to "If you want". "Actually" gives off the impression of low self esteem and/or bitterness with dating.

 

Your current pics gave me the impression that you spend a lot of time at the bar. Until the last two photos.

 

I think you only need one con photo. The one with the Ewok actor isn't obvious what you're doing without reading the caption. (Even to someone who's been to many cons. If he were more famous or recognizable, it would be more obvious.) The storm trooper one is more fun.

 

The first pic could be considered artsy, but the blur makes it look like you're trying to hide how you look. And IMO you look intimidating in that one. The primary pic should be a clear photo of your face. The one with the record looks more like a guy a girl would want to hang out with.

 

Of your current photos, the only ones I would use are the one with the record, the one with the storm trooper, and lacking other photos, the one with your group of friends. I agree with others that some shots of you outside by yourself would help.

Edited July 23, 2014 by The Way I Am

[Noproblem]

 

Now here's the bit I find rather insulting. Why have you listed being an Atheist as a negative quality? That's a positive thing because it shows I have some intelligence and can think for myself. I don't believe in god for the same reason I don't believe in unicorns and pixies, because they don't exist! Religion is full of hatred, bigotry, rape and murder, why would I want any part of that? I'm proud of the fact that I don't just believe some old book, written hundreds of years ago, by people who didn't understand how the world works. I believe in science because it's backed up with evidence, not superstitious nonsense.

 

 

 

 

 

I agree with you......

 

Anyway, you are an honest person, if people can see that.. I guess, dating online is no good for you, maybe try more traditional dating ...Then people will see you for who you are, not just a bunch of pictures and written words.

 

Anyway too honest in this word is a problem..

Best of luck

[Emilia]

I would not mention in my profile if I worked in a psychiatric unit. It's just not an image that conjures anything positive. I know it's unfair but it's how it is.

 

I'd say I'm a nurse or whatever it is that you do.

 

I'd also take outdoors photos as someone suggested, not with women and take off anything sci-fi related.

 

You do come across as a nice guy but there are too many off the wall things in there that would make a stranger a bit nervous since they don't know you.

 

Oh, and the drugs will definitely put a lot of women off. Under 'personality' the first thing that comes off is that you are really into drugs. Not what most women want, especially if they are after having kids.

[d0nnivain]

You don't have to buy clothes you would never wear again but there has to be something other than casual clothes in your closet. What do you wear to weddings, funerals & job interviews? Not all your pictures have to be that buttoned up guy you're not but women need some assurance that she we will have a presentable date for her cousin's wedding if you get my drift.

 

Since we all almost universally had negative things to say about the lollipop shot, let it go.

 

I know it can be awful to have your picture taken but for the sake of getting a good shot, grab a friend or sibling & spend some time -- a couple of hours-- taking candid shots. You can immediately delete the ones you don't like but make the effort to create a good one.

 

As for matching the words & pictures, find one picture that doesn't show party boy & add some words that focus on the fact that you are responsible, rather than exactly what you do. The psych unit thing coupled with some of those pictures makes you seem scary not endearing.

[Priv]

Now here's the bit I find rather insulting. Why have you listed being an Atheist as a negative quality? That's a positive thing because it shows I have some intelligence and can think for myself. I don't believe in god for the same reason I don't believe in unicorns and pixies, because they don't exist! Religion is full of hatred, bigotry, rape and murder, why would I want any part of that? I'm proud of the fact that I don't just believe some old book, written hundreds of years ago, by people who didn't understand how the world works. I believe in science because it's backed up with evidence, not superstitious nonsense.

 

You do realize you just insulted about 80%+ of the worlds population with those remarks in a big way. Surely even an Atheist can have some respect for the beauty of human social evolution. Besides that, conflicts even in biblical times were socio-political, though religion might be a catalyst, or providing a casus belli.

 

 

You could put that in the 'what I am thinking' about section. Not the atheism vs religion part, but being an independent thinker. I quite like that.

 

 

Maybe qualify the drugs part. Big difference between occasionally smoking a joint or tweaking for days on an end .

 

 

I like your photos. They are honest and show who you are and your lifestyle. I would ditch the 'Random night after lots of alcohol had been consumed.' one. You already have one of yourself going out/DJing and you can hardly be seen with your cap on. The people who are going to message you will probably have similar lifestyle which is a good thing.

 

 

Maybe put your dogs on 6 things you can't live without, and science fiction and djing. I would say 'getting the crowd going with my awesome music' and 'shamelessly being the nerd that I am on a star wars convention' (you put a picture of it up so no use hiding it ). Question is there to show off what you are passionate about. Family and music is pretty generic.

 

 

And I would say something positive about what people first notice seeing you instead of something defensive. Maybe just keep the gentle giant thing and leave the rest.

Edited July 23, 2014 by Priv

[sillyanswer]

I gather you've changed things since first posting, but I've only just looked.

 

The link you provided took me straight to your photos so I'll start there:

 

All the photos are taken indoors. Change that - get some photos taken outdoors as well.

 

At least one photo, if the caption is correct, is 6 years old. That might make a woman wonder if the other photos aren't recent, too. Having recent photos is important (even if you think you haven't changed in appearance).

 

Do you ever take your hat off? Always wearing a hat is going to put some people off (but I can't promise they'll like whatever is underneath).

 

 

On to the profile:

 

The Self Summary section is bland. It might be true, but consider how it could be used as a launching point for a conversation: it can't, other than "so tell me a joke." Expand, or delete, this section.

 

In the What I'm doing with my life section, a small paragraph on non-work things could be good, too. Your life isn't all work, is it? So, show that! (Mention that you're a DJ, perhaps.)

 

In the I'm really good at section, "People tell me..." is a terrible cliché, even if true. Rewrite this in your own voice and tell your own story - that's a stronger message. (The second paragraph about DJing sounds better.)

 

In the First thing people notice about me section - here you can use the "friends say..." formula, but it's still a cliché.

 

The Books, Movies, Shows, Music, Food section: It doesn't have to be in that order. Put Music first since, as you say, you're passionate about it and you're a DJ.

[Zeurich]

Hi there I have visited your profile on OKC I am a woman but your profile completely turn me off. Your photos gave me the impression that you are party animal every woman's dude because of the concept of photos. And your bio gives the impression that you don't care.

1 Drop a decent photo with no hat and no crazy face impressions. Don't use photos next to woman or your co workers or family members.

2 write your bio with care write in a way that some one feel to read further.

 

Good luck!

[The Way I Am]

and take off anything sci-fi related.

 

Completely disagree. I wouldn't do that unless you're either just looking to increase the number of responses whether or not they're women you're compatible with or going to a con is something you only did once and don't want to ever do again.

 

If it's something you're interested in, don't exclude it for the sake of attracting the women who will be turned off because they hate your interests.

 

This particular hot woman who likes scifi thought that was the most appealing part of your profile.

[pteromom]

OK - first, the photos:

 

Photo 1: Yes, the effect is cool, but it isn't an attractive photo. You look kinda angry!

 

Photo 2: You look kinda angry again, and to reinforce that opinion, your friend is looking at you like she is scared of you.

 

The rest of the photos are ok, as secondary photos that give an idea of who you are. You do really need one that is just your face with a nice honest smile - and good lighting. Get a friend to take some pics of you outside in a park or another area with a nice background.

 

The profile:

 

I disagree with those saying to take off where you work and what you are teaching. I think the idea that you are going to be teaching anger management backs up what you say about looking intimidating but really being a nice guy. I find it interesting, and it would give a lot to talk about with you.

 

This is an odd paragraph:

 

Lots of different things, it's hard to narrow it down. I don't really think about any one thing for too long, and I'm not one to dwell on bad things and worry, life's to short for that.

 

If you think about lots of different things, surely you can think of a couple of examples.

 

The rest of your profile is pretty good. I have a good idea of the kind of person you are after reading it, which is exactly what a profile is supposed to accomplish.

 

I think your pics are your downfall. You need some new ones!

 

Lastly, I'll say what I said to someone else yesterday. Remember that your goal isn't quantity - it's quality. You want to attract someone on your wavelength who will like the same things you like or at least respect your positions. Taking mention of smoking a joint out of your profile will certainly get you more interested girls. But what is the point of that if you meet someone you like, and she becomes disgusted by you when she finds out you smoke sometimes? It's better to show who you are upfront, and let those who don't like you just move on.

[Eivuwan]

I disagree with everyone who told you to take off stuff from the profile to hide parts of yourself such as the atheist, sci fi, psychiatry unit stuff. Working in a psych unit is an honorable thing. If that bothers people, then they're ignorant and you wouldn't want to date them anyway right? However, I would make some qualifying statements about the drugs issue because you are doing it for a medical purpose and not for just getting high. I think your profile is fine. The biggest issue is the pictures. They make you look like you just like to party and that's not all who you are right? Professional shots are for showing the more serious side of yourself (doesn't mean you shouldn't smile). Just try it. You are not having success now. What do you have to lose? Maybe you can take some in your hospital uniform haha.

 

Edit: Only part in the profile I would change is the message me if you really want to get to know me. It's not good to give an impression of being cynical about women. Just write, message me if you want or something like that.

Edited July 23, 2014 by Eivuwan