Thewayitwas2 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 So I started dating a guy about a month ago. It has been SO good. He said he loved me in a matter of 2 weeks. And seems very very genuine. He has been soooo into me. But we live 2.5 hours from each other ...we have seen each other every weekend. I met his parents and his 3 kids. He has already talked about getting married. He has been divorced twice and has 3 kids. He's a surgeon. Gorgeous etc. But... He is constantly talking about all the women who want him. He told me today that he has shut it all down because he only wants me.. That's great of course. But he continued on to tell me about the 3 women who are still chasing him. He then spent an hour telling me about his Ex's and their habits. Also their sex lives too. I kept interrupting ... Kindly saying it's okay! I don't need to know. But he continued... He's also extremely fit. He tells me about the women who cat call him etc... I bounce from pure love for him ... To complete despair when he talks about all these women. Is this normal? Am I just too weak? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 it's normal for you to feel this way, it isn't normal for a guy head over heels to be doing nothing but speaking of their ex's or people who are chasing them. I think you go hardcore on him the next time he does it, talk it out and lay it on the line that his behavior is out of line and he needs to stop it and if he doesn't then you walk... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 You are not weak and that's inappropriate behavior. Also, I would be wary of those who profess love this early. I think it takes at least several months before you know whether you love someone and him saying it this early shows a lack of insight into his own emotions. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 He is constantly talking about all the women who want him. Small world and his gorgeous self fills it up completely. Very little room for 'normal' people like you or I. That's OK! There will always be someone else for him to tell his tales of popularity to. Billions more to be served. If you want to lay it out, feel free. IMO, don't speak of any consequences you're not prepared to enforce. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Be very careful of people who profess their lust, I mean love so quickly because it usually ends just as fast. I bet if you call him out about bragging about himself he won't love you so much anymore. He sounds like a very insecure man, be careful. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Here's a tip: a man in love with a woman doesn't talk about all the other women chasing him and his sex lives with his ex(es). I'd run far away. Warp speed relationships fall apart just as quickly as they ramp up. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thewayitwas2 Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) I guess what's confusing is that he is making tremendous sacrifice to see me. He flew into town .. Stayed in a hotel .. Just to drive back to his house with me (3 hours away). But the entire car ride he talked about his ex wives and as of late... The women who were pursuing him. I gently told him that I didn't want to talk about that ... And he apologized. But then started in another fashion. Then we went to a wedding w all of his friends and on drive back he was talking about how in love he was with me... And mentioned how one of his friends at the wedding (who I met) was urging him to go on a date with another woman. He was saying "no no... I'm happy with this woman" .. I had been drinking and I think I had just had enough. I started to get tears in my eyes and he could tell. I told him that hurt .. And he said that the guy said that BEFORE he met me. I just told him that those kinds of comments make me feel insecure. He apologized. So he is very very good at trying to see me... And I'm doing all I can to see him. But, he keeps talking about this stuff... And he has a very close best friend who is having trouble with their relationship. He allowed them to stay at his house (near a concert) while he was out if town. Well it turns out he has security cameras. And the couple started fighting. He was showing me the video of their fight! And I said I didn't want to get involved. He sat there and watched it like a reality show. I thought that was very strange ... Edited July 21, 2014 by Thewayitwas2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thruster Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 So I started dating a guy about a month ago. It has been SO good. He said he loved me in a matter of 2 weeks. And seems very very genuine. He has been soooo into me. But we live 2.5 hours from each other ...we have seen each other every weekend. I met his parents and his 3 kids. He has already talked about getting married. He has been divorced twice and has 3 kids. He's a surgeon. Gorgeous etc. But... He is constantly talking about all the women who want him. He told me today that he has shut it all down because he only wants me.. That's great of course. But he continued on to tell me about the 3 women who are still chasing him. He then spent an hour telling me about his Ex's and their habits. Also their sex lives too. I kept interrupting ... Kindly saying it's okay! I don't need to know. But he continued... He's also extremely fit. He tells me about the women who cat call him etc... I bounce from pure love for him ... To complete despair when he talks about all these women. Is this normal? Am I just too weak? normal you are -- standard normal Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I think this man needs an audience real bad and you're his current audience. In other thread we told you it's all about him. Here you have it again. Yeah sure he flies to see you, that's how bad he needs his audience. The show is all about him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 OMG -- he's player in the worst way. He's an ego maniac who needs to be the center of the universe. He craves the attention & he's BAD at marriage. After being twice burned, a sane man would never mention marriage again a month in or introduce you to his kids. You can't take anything he says seriously. He probably doesn't know the truth from the lies. Tread very carefully; this has danger written all over it if you care to look past the pretty package (gorgeous, fit surgeon) 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Iris17 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 RUN as fast as you can before it gets too deep Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thewayitwas2 Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 I'm already in deep. I am so vulnerable and know I have fallen for him. I just get scared that despite all of his promises he will be flirting with others Etc... He has already asked me to move to his town and into his home.. Which I told him I only do that when I'm engaged etc. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I'm already in deep. I am so vulnerable and know I have fallen for him. I just get scared that despite all of his promises he will be flirting with others Etc... He has already asked me to move to his town and into his home.. Which I told him I only do that when I'm engaged etc. You are NOT in deep. Its been a freaking month. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, woman up and KNOW you can do better and that you deserve better. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) 1. Dating for only a month. 2. You've seen each other every weekend, so that would mean you've only invested about 4 weekends with him. 3. Second weekend he tells you he loves you. 4. After 4 weekends, he wants to get married. 5. Already met the 3 kids and parents. 6. Married and divorced twice. 7. Talks and raves about other women wanting him. 8. Goes on and on about the habits and sex life of his ex partners. The amount of red flags flying high. I think you're blind to all that because he's gorgeous, extremely fit and he's a surgeon. I'm not sure how anyone can go through that list and not have alarms sounding off in their head. Another thing, he said he loves you in 2 weeks and you believe he seems very genuine. People sound and come off genuine when they're running on the feel-good emotions of a new relationship. Edited July 21, 2014 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 And lets not forget he is an untreated bi polar. He sleeps at his ex's house regularly under pretext his 9 yo wants him to take him to school, he sleeps in his ex's bed when she is not there, etc. And much more l don't remember on top of my head. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 And lets not forget he is an untreated bi polar. He sleeps at his ex's house regularly under pretext his 9 yo wants him to take him to school, he sleeps in his ex's bed when she is not there, etc. And much more l don't remember on top of my head. The stoner guy? He can't be a surgeon, LOL! Nah, this must be 'next guy'. Right? (I hope!) Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I'm already in deep. I am so vulnerable and know I have fallen for him. I just get scared that despite all of his promises he will be flirting with others Etc... He has already asked me to move to his town and into his home.. Which I told him I only do that when I'm engaged etc. Don't move. Yes, he will always be flirting. He needs the next best thing. You're it right now but you won't be forever. He has GIGS on steroids. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/482349-weird OP, I read this thread. I think people can keep telling you that there are too many warning signs but you're going to keep pushing this because you've idealized and romanticized this. Step out of your emotions for just a moment. This is not normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thewayitwas2 Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 No. That's not the same guy. This is a new person. He is not bi polar. He's very smart etc Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 The stoner guy? He can't be a surgeon, LOL! Nah, this must be 'next guy'. Right? (I hope!) Drug usage is common in doctors and lawyers, particularly cocain and such, keeps them awake and alert. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 No. That's not the same guy. This is a new person. He is not bi polar. He's very smart etc So what's this guy's story? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 No. That's not the same guy. This is a new person. He is not bi polar. He's very smart etc So you were dating this guy before breaking up with bipolar around July 7th? Or have things moved even faster than the one month timeline? In either case, WAY too fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thewayitwas2 Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 This guy has been married twice. Has 3 kids. They don't live him. They are 13 ... 14 and 16. Although he seems like a good dad... From what I can tell. He is not bi polar. That was the last guy ... And yes I went on a date with this guy as I was ending things with the bi polar guy. So, this one fell pretty quickly for me... So he says. He seems to be doing all the right things. Just has trouble when he runs his mouth. I get sensitive. He goes out every night and eats at the bar area in restaurants. He talks about how he is always going alone and people ask about how he could be alone etc. But when I was with him this weekend. He constantly introduced me as his girlfriend. So I can see he is showing people that he is committed to me. But literally as we were laying in bed after sex (which is amazing) ... He started talking about how he loved my long legs etc and that his ex didn't have long legs like me. Etc etc. Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Well lets give him the full benefit of the doubt. He's completely loyal. But he is a narcissist. And gets great joy out of being wanted by others. And can't control his need to discuss it. Feel like someone you want to be with long term? Always explaining away behavior you don't like? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 He goes out every night and eats at the bar area in restaurants. He talks about how he is always going alone and people ask about how he could be alone etc. But when I was with him this weekend. He constantly introduced me as his girlfriend. So I can see he is showing people that he is committed to me. Honey - telling people you are his girlfriend is NOT a sign of commitment. ACTIONS are signs of commitment. You haven't known him long enough to SEE his actions of being committed. Quite honestly, he sounds like a narcissitic attention whore. I'd be willing to bet my last penny on it. Anyone care to disagree? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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