Jump to content

Exclusive dating or relationship?


Recommended Posts

I met a sweet guy online 8 months ago. We were texting/talking for 4 months and then finally met up and went on 3 dates. Then I had to travel 3 months for work and we kept in touch during those months. I've been back for a month and we've been texting most days and met up weekends. We have only gone as far as kissing/making out and last night he asked me if I was seeing anyone else. We both decided to be exclusive.

 

Now does that just mean we are dating exclusively? Or that we are bf/gf? as in a relationship?

 

Also should I wait a bit longer till I sleep with him till I know we are serious?

 

Thank you for all the responses :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
milanlover

It's dating exclusively. But why is the label so important? I think if it's meant to be, it will happen. Chill out. There is no rush. Just enjoy the moment don't let the insecurities ruin it like I did :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

We both decided to be exclusive.

 

Now does that just mean we are dating exclusively? Or that we are bf/gf? as in a relationship?

 

Depends with each person. For some it means they are officially gf/bf for others it means we won't see other people but we are not a couple yet. I suggest you ask him : So are we bf/gf? Make it clear. Don't involve yourself in relationships you don't know your status, it will often lead you to disappointments.

 

Also should I wait a bit longer till I sleep with him till I know we are serious?

 

That is your personal choice. If you associate sex and feelings then yes you should make sure first that you are a couple. If you have no problem with casual sex then have fun. I personally don't think sex early or sex later makes a difference in the relationship, just go with what you believe and what you are comfortable with.

Link to post
Share on other sites
salparadise
Now does that just mean we are dating exclusively? Or that we are bf/gf? as in a relationship?

 

Also should I wait a bit longer till I sleep with him till I know we are serious?

 

Usually being exclusive is equivalent to a relationship, but they are different terms with different meanings. It takes some time and intention to build a relationship but you can become exclusive while working on that. I'd say that's probably where you are with this guy. I prefer exclusivity when I start dating someone because I can't focus on more than one person at a time, and if she's dating/sleeping with others while I'm trying to pursue a relationship I'd probably lose interest and end it.

 

No one should tell you when it's the right time for you to begin a physical relationship. If you aren't sure about it then wait until you are. Trust your values and instincts. Be true to yourself. Ignore people who try and impose their values on your life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
DArtagnan2

I think when someone says exclusive they mean dating no one else which is the same as what, gf and bf. I think when people get past a certain age, they don't say, "will you be my girlfriend / boyfriend?"

 

As for sex, its your personal choice. If you are someone that wants to wait until you have met someone that may be forever, then wait. The way society see's is there are no boundaries really anymore. Its up to the individual.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
PegNosePete

Labels labels labels... what's with you guys and labels all the time?

 

You both agreed to date exclusively, that is a good thing. What does it matter what you call each other? Why worry about it?

 

I don't get it... *shakes head*

Link to post
Share on other sites
Labels labels labels... what's with you guys and labels all the time?

 

You both agreed to date exclusively, that is a good thing. What does it matter what you call each other? Why worry about it?

 

I don't get it... *shakes head*

 

Labels do have importance or should I say having a clear understanding of what kind of relationship we are in is extremely important. It avoids disappointments and being mislead.

 

If OP is under the impression there is a difference between being exclusive and being gf/bf then she needs to clarify this with her guy. It will avoid extremely uncomfortable situation like she thinks she is his girlfriend because they do the gf/bf thing but then when he brings her in his family he introduces her as a 'friend'.

 

If a man I am dating exclusively for months doesn't want to introduce me as his gf then we have a problem.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
PegNosePete
If a man I am dating exclusively for months doesn't want to introduce me as his gf then we have a problem.

Yes true I'll agree with you there, making introductions is about the only time when you definitely need labels. I would always go with gf even after a short period, using "friend" is a total snub.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thank you everyone for all the replies! I think I will have a talk with him just to clarify where we stand ^_^

Link to post
Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle
It's dating exclusively. But why is the label so important? I think if it's meant to be, it will happen. Chill out. There is no rush. Just enjoy the moment don't let the insecurities ruin it like I did :)

 

Sorry but I can't agree with this one.

 

Seriously, the whole let's not put a label on it is yet another epidemic I see continuously these days and especially with the younger demographic. Hell, even my 15 year old boy hates putting a label on his relationships.

 

What is the fear in labeling something?! It's not a freakin' marriage proposal for heaven's sake. I just don't get it.

 

In my day (oh yeah, you knew I was going there), when someone asked to be exclusive it meant you were a COUPLE! Simple. You were either casually dating people or you were exclusive with one person. That's it.

 

Now a days, it just seems like everyone is looking to have their cake and eat it too. That's fine if you're both on the same page about it otherwise there is always someone left endlessly wondering what's going on.

 

The whole thing just seems a bit immature if you ask me.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Young people today seem to have this live for today attitude and won't commit to anything. They always want to have an escape clause. I enjoy life like the next happy person but I still commit to what I do and live a somewhat structured life. I think I may be a bit old fashioned for my age at 37.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...