Kitchen Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hi all- I've been close friends with this girl for the last several years. Over the past year I have developed feelings for her, and have even asked her out a couple of times, unsuccessfully. The problem is that I'm in the friend zone. However we get along so well, and she has even considered dating me. I know this because she has told some mutual friends that she's thought about it. Also, when she gets drunk she becomes flirty with me. The other day I asked her for one date, with no obligation for a second one, and no hard feelings from either side if it doesn't work out. She agreed, and in return she promised to treat it as a real 1st date with someone she's actually considering being with. I know my chances are bleak, but I want to make the most of what I have. Just looking for tips/suggestions on what to do. I want to make it special, unique, and fun. Also, if people have any general advice on this topic, feel free to share. Thanks for reading! Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hi all- I've been close friends with this girl for the last several years. Over the past year I have developed feelings for her, and have even asked her out a couple of times, unsuccessfully. The problem is that I'm in the friend zone. However we get along so well, and she has even considered dating me. I know this because she has told some mutual friends that she's thought about it. Also, when she gets drunk she becomes flirty with me. The other day I asked her for one date, with no obligation for a second one, and no hard feelings from either side if it doesn't work out. In return she promised to treat it as a real 1st date with someone she's actually considering being with. I know my chances are bleak, but I want to make the most of what I have. Just looking for tips/suggestions on what to do. I want to make it special, unique, and fun. Also, if people have any general advice on this topic, feel free to share. Thanks for reading! If you known her for several years, I'm sure you can think of something you two can do together that she will really enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
LustAppeal Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 First off, congrats for getting out of the friend zone... You two have been friends for a long time now, you probably know some of each others characteristics and attributes, which is what most people look into on first date. SOO saying that why not dig a little deeper on the personal side without being creepy. Find out her passions, what her true values are, what stopped her from dating you in the first place... etc. You're friends, she's giving you a chance. Try to push away from the "friend" talk. Talk like you really want to get to know her, open up... All in all, dating isn't about settling for less! Be yourself and if she likes it go for her. If not and you're friend zoned again... Her loss move on! Link to post Share on other sites
DArtagnan2 Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 1st - dont go in to it thinking your chances are bleak. Change your mindset and think this actually has a chance. as for what to do on your date? You know her better then anyone here. You should kind of know what she likes to do. So, what does she like to do? What do you like to do? Don't ask her that's for sure. You make the plans and take her along. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitchen Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 Thanks for the responses so far! ^In regards to me acting like I won't get a second date and telling her...trust me, I know much better than to be that way. Problem here is that she rejected me, twice, because she was worried about "ruining the friendship". So getting a date just by asking her straight up didn't work, and I felt like I had to work out this "deal". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 (edited) I was in a very very similar situation - I wagered a deal with her too thou I gave myself a little bit more time that you did. As for tips, I played the first date thing for a bit, mainly cause it was funny, picked her up with a bunch of her favourtie flowers, asked her what she did. But remeber your biggest advantage is that you already know this girl inside out, that she likes your company - don't lose that, make it easy, ensure she has fun as you would if you were going out as friends, talk about stuff you know you both enjoy talking about, bring in your old inside jokes etc. And it doesn't have to be expensive even cause you already know how to put on a great date for her, right! Edited May 12, 2014 by Shepp 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nerdlingZA Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 U got rejected twice and u still pursued ? Wow, anyway try kissing her after the d8. If she refuses to give u a kiss things aint looking bright for u. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 U got rejected twice and u still pursued ? Wow, anyway try kissing her after the d8. If she refuses to give u a kiss things aint looking bright for u. Through sheer perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure. - Ben Disraeli 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 If you think you are only getting one date it ought to be romantic. What's your budget? On the high end spring for a nice dinner & dancing. If she isn't into that, try a picnic with finger foods & sunset. Perhaps take a romantic stroll along a beach or through a park. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweeetie Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 ...she has even considered dating me. I know this because she has told some mutual friends that she's thought about it. Also, when she gets drunk she becomes flirty with me. The other day I asked her for one date, with no obligation for a second one, and no hard feelings from either side if it doesn't work out. She agreed, and in return she promised to treat it as a real 1st date with someone she's actually considering being with. The fact that she agreed to go on a date with you and spoke to her friends about it before means that she is interested in you. She is your long-term best friend, the last thing she wants to do is mislead you. Show her what you got! Link to post Share on other sites
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