digon1631 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 This girl and I started dating two months ago. She was head over heels for me telling me that I'm the best person she's been with and no one compares to me. After the first time we had sex a month ago, she pulls away for a couple days and doesn't reply to me. She then apologizes and realized that she was just scared. She then tells me she doesn't want to rush things and take it day by day. She said she realized that she likes me a lot and that scares her. She got divorced 6 months ago and recently got out of a relationship. A month and a half before we started dating. She said she wasn't treated well in either of them. Anyways after she pulls away everything is good and brings up us being a couple. I ask her if she wants to be in a relationship with me and she says yes I would like that. A week and a half after she goes cold and says that she's not ready and shouldn't have made that commitment. She says she needs to get her life together. We don't talk for a week and then we hang out and she sleeps over. She tells me she missed me everyday and was thinking about me. Then she stops texting me again and it has been 3 days. she used to call or text me all the time. One day she's totally into it the next day she seems to not care. 1. What should I do? 2. Should I not text her anymore and be done? She responds if I text her and is always down to hang out if I ask. 3. Do you think she's just not interested in me? Everytime we see each other we are so close and always are happy, I feel like she's over complicating everything. Link to post Share on other sites
MadJackBird Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 This sounds similar to my story. You can read my post. I got some really good advice and I'd read that too. If she was only just divorced 6 months ago and already on a second relationship since then she hasn't had enough time to heal. I know because I lived it. My divorce was only finalized 5 months ago and hers even more recently. Divorce takes a toll on your emotions. Give her the space she needs. My new relationship acted in the same way, very hot and cold. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author digon1631 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 So I should just stop talking to her and let her go? She can figure out what she needs to and if it was meant to be something will happen? Link to post Share on other sites
MadJackBird Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Yes, You can go No Contact, or low contact. With my situation we were constantly texting, calling, trying to meet up and planning our next dates. She decided she needed to end our relationship. I have respected that and have decided on low contact. It has been hard because she was almost a best friend, but I still stay in touch every few days. I sent her an email Sunday and she replied. Texted her this morning and she replied, I replied back that basically said I miss our talks but understand she needs her space and I would email her back sometime this weekend. In the meantime get your mind off of her. Go running, get involved in some activities, Move onto the next girl. If you hold on too tightly it will push her away, just as she has said. If you give her the space she needs she may come back to you when she is ready. But make sure she is in it for the long haul and not flaking on you again. Those ups and downs are hard on emotions, yours and hers. Good Luck, I'm in the same boat as you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author digon1631 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Nice to know that there is someone out there in a similar situation. I'm going to not text her or contact her and give her space. If she really wants me in her life she would make the effort to come and talk to me. I think whenever she is ready she will contact me, but I definitely can't wait. She told me she was really happy to hear from me the last time we talked. I want her to decide if she wants to be involved in my life. Thanks for the support! Link to post Share on other sites
Cpt Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 She is not over her divorce. Both you and her previous lover were rebounds. She is just trying to fill the void of being alone. End contact with her for a while - for three purposes: 1. For you to not get hurt 2. For you to not get hurt 3. For you to... Ok you get the idea Link to post Share on other sites
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