What do I do if I have a crush on a Facebook Mutual Friend?

[Armegoggon]

Ok so as of late, my friend named Crystal was tagged on multiple photos and was all over my homepage. Then I started to find out who was taking lots of photos of her and noticed started to think about having a crush on Jenny, the girl tagging her. I spent a while glancing her profile.

 

Crystal and Jenny became friends at the start of the frosh week in university. I found out about this because I compared both of them using a "See Friendship" link but changed my name to the Jenny's. They both have around 25 mutual friends between each other. I've also noticed that they are in fact pretty close university friends so they probably easily understand each other well.

 

So I looked over Jenny's profile and what caught my eyes were the softball batting stance she had. I am an amateur men's baseball player at a very low level so I thought why not try to look out for her as a date? Although I've never dated her before, I thought I might be able to try anyways. As I've stated here, I will not look out for an f-date or any physical attraction. I only liked her because of something we may have in common. Baseball and softball are very similar so it might be a good match. From what I've seen on her cover photo she plays the fastpitch style of softball so she might have had some baseball experience in the past.

 

Well the problem that separates me and her is the location. They both go to a university that is around 1h and 40 min away from where I live. Jenny is born in a town close to that university and probably lives there (from what I've seen on her profile). Since I'm almost done my first year of college, I feel like I may want to start thinking of finding a date over the summer.

 

Another major question I want to ask for her is what is her relationship status. I couldn't find that information in her profile.

 

But the major problem is not because of the following 2 reasons. Crystal is my only mutual friend of Jenny. Another big problem is back in my high school days, I rarely talked to Crystal. I've had her on Facebook since 2011 (end of grade 10). I remember sending a friend request at least 6-8 months before she accepted it because of the last name problems (there are 7 students in my graduation class/grade with my first name). She accepted my friend request at that time because she asked me what was my last name when I wrote on her yearbook that year and then accepted my request few hours later.

 

My interaction with Crystal is not very common. We were always clean towards each other but we just simply never talked often on both Facebook and real life. We don't even have each other's phone number. I just checked my friendship with her and I've noticed that I have never messaged her nor written anything on her wall during the tenure. This is a little bit of a major problem because since June 2013 (high school grad), I was deleted by 5 of my high school Facebook friends mostly because I rarely used Facebook back in high school. As of today, we have 126 Mutual friends. Now I use it often but don't often (if rarely) message my high school friends. Meanwhile in real life, I was able to find her in classes for only 2 out of the 4 years in high school. Well we did see each other early on when I was extremely shy but as grade 11 poored by, I was never able to find her in classes, though I did see her in halls sometimes. I also believe we (almost) never talked to each other in grade 12. Her birthday is coming in less than 2 weeks and I do have a routine of writing in all of my friend's walls but I'm hoping she doesn't delete me.

 

One last point I would like to make is I'm an Asian somewhat athletic boy, while Jenny is a white girl. Crystal is Asian too because we came from an Asian school. Now why am I writing this point? Although I really don't care at all about ethnicity, but I just think that Jenny might because her town to me looks like it's very less diverse.

 

Anyways, this may be long but thanks for reading it. I wanted to point out a lot of details because I don't really know what's the next step on approaching Jenny. I just want to know should I really talk to Crystal?

[gaius]

If you like her just put up your best pic and add her. One step at a time. If she accepts then you can go from there.

 

Times a wastin my friend. I think I've spent 40 bucks on overpriced ice cream so far trying to hunt down this girl since I was too lazy to get her name or number where I first found her, but where she doesn't show up anymore. Tomorrow your girl might shut down her facebook account.

[Conners]

Stop overthinking everything and just add the girl. The worst thing she can do is not accept your request.

[David87]

I wanted to point out a lot of details because I don't really know what's the next step on approaching Jenny.

 

Send her a friend request and go from there. After she accepts your request just say hello or something

[Armegoggon]

Are you serious? You think it's actually a good idea to just add Jenny without asking Crystal? The big problem with directly adding her is because I'm a very shy person.

 

I also have about 30 friends (all from my school) that I've sent friend requests to years back that never got accepted. So this made me even more shy to try and add people. Sometimes I just feel that people are very unwelcoming, yet they add pretty much everyone else that they at least know a tiny bit.

 

Yes I think you should take that chance. At the very least it will strengthen your courage for the next time. Chances are Crystal is more concerned with her friends then how often you have messaged her. You can tell her that you are shy and don't use Facebook much, but that you noticed her friend and think that you and Jenny might have something in common. People love to play matchmaker, and if you come off as sincere as you do in your post, why wouldn't she want to help you? She can tell you about Jenny and whether or not she has a boyfriend, and what she is into. Then you can use what you know about Jenny to add a personal message when you add her as a friend.

 

It's best if you don't make assumptions (that she might not like Asians - I always went for darker skinned men until I met the most amazing pale, red-headed Irishman!) or analyze this too much. Make the move first and then read the real signals. I want to hear what happens, so please keep us informed!

 

So how should I message Crystal? I just hope she wouldn't forget me because the last time I talked to her in person was what like more than 12 months ago? That's just what I'm shy about. Remember, we have little to none interaction between each other during our Facebook tenure. Besides, she just finished school so I'm afraid she probably might use her time to delete me (hopefully not).