BJP56 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Me and this girl have been friends since June of last year. We have very much in common but there are things that make us incompatible if we do start a relationship. It sucks because I really like her a lot. I am saddened by it because I can not find anyone else like her that will love me back the way she does. : ( Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 What are those incompatibilities? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BJP56 Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 (edited) What are those incompatibilities? Its a no brainer..... She is a athiest I am a Christian, the beliefs if any, are different, My family would tear her apart. Family values, on how both of us celebrate B-days and Holidays, She doesnt celebrate at all. This frustrates me because I want to do something nice for her, and I fear I may make her mad or reject me in some way if I attempt it. I am getting a mixed answer on her ever wanting a family. On one hand I hear down the road, and on another, never. Then I think in the back of my head....Then why kiss me and make out with me like you want me? I am getting a sense she does want these things but I am not 100% curtain. She fears if we do pursue a relationship, I will wake up one day and not want her any more, she does not want to be that girl that did not work out. Isnt that why its called dating? There have been some nights I have been a emotional train wreck because some part of me wants to be with her. I am fearing I am going about this all wrong. I am letting it play out on its own, I am not pushing it, I am not rushing it, I am taking my time with it and it seems to be taking a positive step forward. My question is: For the right reasons? Edited April 24, 2014 by BJP56 Link to post Share on other sites
Cpt Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Those are not incompatibilites. If you really wanted to be together, you would because those reasons are really not that big a deal. It saddens me when people make excuses for not having relationships, when they should be trying to have good reasons to be with each other. But on a side note as for your last sentence in the original post... drop that attitude and mentality or else you will not get far with the opposite sex my friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jonsnuh Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Its a no brainer..... She is a athiest I am a Christian, the beliefs if any, are different, My family would tear her apart. Family values, on how both of us celebrate B-days and Holidays, She doesnt celebrate at all. This frustrates me because I want to do something nice for her, and I fear I may make her mad or reject me in some way if I attempt it. I am getting a mixed answer on her ever wanting a family. On one hand I hear down the road, and on another, never. Then I think in the back of my head....Then why kiss me and make out with me like you want me? I am getting a sense she does want these things but I am not 100% curtain. She fears if we do pursue a relationship, I will wake up one day and not want her any more, she does not want to be that girl that did not work out. Isnt that why its called dating? There have been some nights I have been a emotional train wreck because some part of me wants to be with her. I am fearing I am going about this all wrong. I am letting it play out on its own, I am not pushing it, I am not rushing it, I am taking my time with it and it seems to be taking a positive step forward. My question is: For the right reasons? I speak from experience: What I can see potentially happening is her using your Christian faith against you. My ex saw me as being stubborn and unchanging even up to the last moments of our breakup, when the fact was that my religion was completely up in the air from what I learnt through her. There are varying degrees of conflict of course, and sometimes compromise can't happen. Differences in celebrating B-days and Holidays don't have to be a problem. It is a problem if she makes you choose between one or the other. However, this may work to your advantage since you could always go the extra mile to surprise her or her family on their birthdays. I remember my ex not wanting a family. She said she would never be a good mother. At the breakup, she asked me if I wanted a family and I had agreed with her. Turns out, she wanted a family all along. Either I missed what she was saying between the lines, or it was a product of time changing our views. How old are you OP? It may be best to just have fun and not worry about these obligations and demands on her. However, I will warn you-- if you do want her as a future long-term partner, it may be wise to wait, mature with other girls/women, and then pursue her if you are serious. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 You never know how these perceived incompatibilities will play out unless you make a go of things. I guarantee you there a lot of atheists out there married to religious types and the world keeps on spinning. It's about tolerance and respect. These are only issues if you two let them be issues. Birthdays and holidays? Meh. Your family tearing her apart? Wow, that would be quite un-Christian of them, now wouldn't it? Take the plunge and make a go!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChooseTruth Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I dunno about the other stuff, but I was married to an atheist for 14 years (I'm Baha'i). I may start a relationship with another one actually.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BJP56 Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 Its nice to see some still have tolerance. I like seeing that coming from fellow Christian's. Put a smile on my face for the day. Link to post Share on other sites
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