so gutted Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Met a guy, first date lasted 3 hours. We talked a lot. He was funny and respectful. He did not try to kiss me. The next day, he asked me how I thought the date went. I was positive, he was equally positive back. We have texted each other since. We were supposed to meet yesterday but i backed out as the timing was late. I have had no contact today. This has worried me. He is very very busy. I have contacted him first yesterday. Should i play it cool and wait for him to text or wait it out. Its been a whole day and this is unusual. I really like him. Link to post Share on other sites
crosswordfiend Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 If you backed out of a date it is your responsibility to initiate the next one. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 We have only known each other 4 days. The contact has always been continous until now? Will i look desperate if i say hi etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfire73 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 When you backed out, you should have offered to reschedule. But you can initiate the next contact now, and see how he reply. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 We have only known each other 4 days. The contact has always been continous until now? Will i look desperate if i say hi etc? You've only known this guy for 4 days and already you're so rattled. You got to have thicker skin if you want to date. He probably is also hiding back because you canceled and wondering if you are interested. You canceled, you reach out and reschedule. Send something simple -- "How's your day?" Go from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 What did you mean when you posted that you backed out of seeing him because the timing was too late? Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 If you cancelled, it's your responsibility to follow-up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 What did you mean when you posted that you backed out of seeing him because the timing was too late? He wanted me to join him And his mate at 11 pm for a drink. I said it was too late. He referred to the first meeting as a date but no move was made. I could feel the chemistry very strongly. Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I dont feel like him asking u to join him and a mate for a drink counts as a date. Did you confirm you would even go? Even so, if you backed out of that I am not sure it counts as backing out on a date. Kinda odd on his part to ask someone he just met IMO But yeah as the posters above said, if he asked u to a 1on1 dinner date or something, and u backed out you should initiate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 So, it wasn't a planned date. It was a last minute request. So, technically you didn't cancel nor did you back out. I'd wait for him to come to you then. I don't feel good about a guy asking a woman out for a drink at 11PM. Maybe I'm jaded. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 What did you mean when you posted that you backed out of seeing him because the timing was too late? I dont feel like him asking u to join him and a mate for a drink counts as a date. Did you confirm you would even go? Even so, if you backed out of that I am not sure it counts as backing out on a date. Kinda odd on his part to ask someone he just met IMO But yeah as the posters above said, if he asked u to a 1on1 dinner date or something, and u backed out you should initiate. I was unsure, did not confirm just asked if he could meet earlier but he was coming from a wedding and happened to be very close to where i was. This is the first guy in 5 years who has expressed an interest without getting physical. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 So, it wasn't a planned date. It was a last minute request. So, technically you didn't cancel nor did you back out. I'd wait for him to come to you then. I don't feel good about a guy asking a woman out for a drink at 11PM. Maybe I'm jaded. It was mentioned in a conversation when i asked what he was up to. He said your welcome to join us. I didn't because i felt weird about the timing. But at no point did i think this was a perverted request. I think he is keeping things platonic at the moment which is good bit there is strong chemistry. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 It was mentioned in a conversation when i asked what he was up to. He said your welcome to join us. I didn't because i felt weird about the timing. But at no point did i think this was a perverted request. I think he is keeping things platonic at the moment which is good bit there is strong chemistry. Ok, I thought he called you up at the last minute to join him for a drink. Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I was unsure, did not confirm just asked if he could meet earlier but he was coming from a wedding and happened to be very close to where i was. This is the first guy in 5 years who has expressed an interest without getting physical. If that is the case just let it ride. You didn't back out or cancel out of a planned date, it was a last minute request on his part. It doesn't matter if he is the first person in 5 years to express interest without getting physical--that doesn't mean you have to chase him down or make yourself too available. Have confidence in yourself that you're a great catch and you deserve to be properly asked out to a date. Not some "you're welcome to come grab a drink with my mate" invitation. I definitely would have declined FWIW. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 22, 2014 Author Share Posted April 22, 2014 No reply ...very upset Link to post Share on other sites
guest572 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I would give it a few days just relax! Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 No reply ...very upset Relax, I understand you like him but you don't wanna come off needy or clingy! Plus, you hardly know him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 22, 2014 Author Share Posted April 22, 2014 Relax, I understand you like him but you don't wanna come off needy or clingy! Plus, you hardly know him! So now i'm plain angry. After meeting lots of interest via text for 3 days and nights and now 2 days of nothing? I feel very led on and betrayed. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 You are awfully on edge about something so simple. I'm afraid that means you're going to have a rough ride of dating - or already have. You have got to have a thicker skin. If not getting a text right away leaves you feeling gutted then you've got some work to do on your self confidence. you should be thinking: ha! he's probably holding off to avoid looking too eager! Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 So now i'm plain angry. After meeting lots of interest via text for 3 days and nights and now 2 days of nothing? I feel very led on and betrayed. You haven't known him long enough to get so emotionally invested in what he does or doesn't do. If he eventually calls, decide at that point what you want to do. If he doesn't, don't worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I feel very led on and betrayed. Really? After one date you feel betrayed and led on? You have to have thicker skin, OP. Dating is hard and you have to roll with the punches. I can't imagine what would happen if he checked out a month into dating you. Maybe you're not ready to go out there just yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 In all honesty, you went on 1 date with him for 3 hours... and you said he didn't make any moves on you. So there is nothing u were led on! You guys are still feeling each other out. Dating can be very difficult if you cling on so easily! You def need the self confidence and right attitude to find the right person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 22, 2014 Author Share Posted April 22, 2014 In all honesty, you went on 1 date with him for 3 hours... and you said he didn't make any moves on you. So there is nothing u were led on! You guys are still feeling each other out. Dating can be very difficult if you cling on so easily! You def need the self confidence and right attitude to find the right person. I was led on by the interest after the date and now nothing. I have been watching my phone all day. I just do not get it. He has logged into the site today, meaning he is either looking at my pictures or dating someone else. No excuse is valid after 2 days. Very very down. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I was led on by the interest after the date and now nothing. I have been watching my phone all day. I just do not get it. He has logged into the site today, meaning he is either looking at my pictures or dating someone else. No excuse is valid after 2 days. Very very down. C'mon OP. You're going way overboard with your expectations just because you spent 3 hours with him. Why are you so obsessive after one date? It's not a good sign. You shouldn't be placing all your eggs in one basket. If you're let down after one date, what is going to happen if you are let down after a few weeks or a couple of months? Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted April 22, 2014 Author Share Posted April 22, 2014 C'mon OP. You're going way overboard with your expectations just because you spent 3 hours with him. Why are you so obsessive after one date? It's not a good sign. You shouldn't be placing all your eggs in one basket. If you're let down after one date, what is going to happen if you are let down after a few weeks or a couple of months? I deal with the 1 month dump better, not sure why. I just feel low anyway and to have my feelings trampled on again, after feeling good for once ( he made me feel wanted, hope) is horrible. I have noone to talk too about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts