warrenorabbits Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 For now my date (not quite gf) and I live a little ways apart (things have just started between us). So we've been Skyping and texting ... sort of. I'm almost always the one who initiates but I'm not getting any "not interested" vibes from her -- to the contrary. I try calling her occasionally but I really think that she needs to do her share of the "work" if this is going to go any further. And I don't feel like it's something I need to talk about. So I won't be contacting her anymore unless she takes a bit of initiative. Am I wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Disco Lemonade Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 For now my date (not quite gf) and I live a little ways apart (things have just started between us). So we've been Skyping and texting ... sort of. I'm almost always the one who initiates but I'm not getting any "not interested" vibes from her -- to the contrary. I try calling her occasionally but I really think that she needs to do her share of the "work" if this is going to go any further. And I don't feel like it's something I need to talk about. So I won't be contacting her anymore unless she takes a bit of initiative. Am I wrong? How frequently are you texting her? Maybe stop for a few days and see if she responds? Maybe you are making it too easy for her Link to post Share on other sites
Author warrenorabbits Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Not very often, admittedly. At the weekends. But she knows I'm interested because I call her. (1) I don't want to crowd her (2) I don't want to be the one doing all the work Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 If you like her I wouldn't stop initiating. I know it feels like a grind, like what the hell if you like me why dont you contact me. If you read through this board you will see countless women bantering, "Why doesnt he text me?", or "Why doesnt he call?" and "I like it when he initiates contact". Youd think we were in the 16th century when you hear a lot of women talking about something as simple and easy as a text message. There's this girl I'm totally into. I'm still dating other girls because she is still dating other guys, I've been seeing her for 3 months. At times I go for as much as 5 days where I'll send her a little hello good morning text and get nothing back. She works a lot but really thats no excuse a text takes seconds to send. But I keep going. Not too intense no crazy "Why dont you answer me!?!" garbage. If she's off the grid I keep it to one a day. Is it worth it? Well she lives out of town and just yesterday she showed up unexpectedly at my door and we had sex for lunch and cuddled for over an hour before she went on her way to deal with a family matter. I think it's worth continuing the initiating. But if your not that into her and its just spinning wheels, up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 There's no right and wrong in this. Some women prefer to initiate, others to be initiated on and finally others, to share. The reverse also holds true for men. So, whatever behaviours maintain attraction is the name of the game. If your attraction level is dropping from being the sole initiator, all you can do is to casually address this with her. If she responds in a manner that helps to maintain your attraction level where it doesn't reduce her attraction level, then your dance will continue. If not, oh well, there are more fish in the ocean. Link to post Share on other sites
mrnova66 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Not very often, admittedly. At the weekends. But she knows I'm interested because I call her. (1) I don't want to crowd her (2) I don't want to be the one doing all the work Bingo on number 2. I facebook a girl 2 months ago. And in those 2 months we chated about everyday. And guess what? Maybe one time she text me first. It is always me doing "How are you doing" first. Never her. I went out with her last night for the first and last time. Never ask questions about me. Always about her.. That was the first date I have had in 15 years. This is the reason I do date. We live in a ME!!ME!!ME!!!ME!!! world. That date last night is my last date. I am 48 and am going to live my last days in peace. As far as facebook is nothing but a fake reality world. I am going to get rid of it for good. People are all for their selves. it is all about them Link to post Share on other sites
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