Meetup Experiences 2

[TheNextLawyer]

I have done Meetup for ages, on the back of advice originally here BTW.

 

So I am in a to-do about one of many women I know thru this social method. She is late 20s, not from the UK but close enough (Ireland).

 

She is by no means a stunner but is attractive all the same - nice eyes and good figure.

 

I found her to be one of three or four girls that I had some feelings for the first time I saw her. Then the second time we had a couple of lengthy conversations with mild flirting. She ended that meeting by saying look forward to seeing you in coming weeks and smiled. I had a rather blank expression, but then I don't like goodbyes much anyway.

 

Third time she initiated the catch-up, saying it felt like only two weeks instead of four. As the night went on a couple of other guys were heavily in the mix with her and I was being my usual friendly self to all the others in the group, and with the mindset not to be too desperate. This was a much less smooth one as I found the other two guys and her interaction with them by turns tedious and also her showing she liked all the attention and then some. Towards the end my loose plan to ask her for her number was cast aside due to her pre-empting me by saying is this your number - she had the same forename but clearly another guy's number. Given how new she was to the area this was somewhat disappointing that she did not ... seemingly remember. Also by the end I thought - may walk her part of the way to the station, but one of the other guys kept asking to give her a lift. She gave in and the last I saw of her was her shaking my hand and saying she had fun. Again I have a blank expression and say nothing. I walk to my car feeling more lonely than when I set off from home to begin with.

 

CTD next post

[TheNextLawyer]

The next time I see her is at the proper meetup event. (previous ones were just socials)

 

She may or may not have seen me and is busy talking to the two other guys from before. The one who gave her a lift has a long chat at the bar with her but there is no obvious flirting going on. I again am quite friendly with both the men and women and there is a long wait before we get the event going due to a venue cock-up.

 

Once we get going I make a point of saying hello to her, and make a teasing remark over her agreeing with me or else. (smile and tongue in cheek).

 

As the event goes on several people just up and leave without returning. She is one of them. Eventually at 10 I go down back to the bar and she is seemingly on a date with someone she met outside of meetup. I sit with them for about 5/10 minutes and just act nonchalent. Nice enough guy who says more interesting stuff than the other two I mentioned above. I still make it clear I like her but then go off to the bar and chat with the remaining meetup people. I look in the girl's direction as she does the whole touching routine with her date. Now here either she is glancing at me, annoyed I am not ignoring them or even that I sat with them too long, or she finds her date of not total interest. That's the part I can only guess at.

 

When I return to her , with her date gone to the washroom, I quickly end it and shake her hand with some conviction. However I don't feel the same loneliness as now there is a clear change in the status quo and I can't be too pushy, unlike with the guy who gave her a lift who was on the same starting grid as me.

 

I have met several other girls who are at least as attractive, but still won't write her off. However her decision to combine a meetup with a date in the same venue has got me somewhat less impressed than the first two meetings.

[TheNextLawyer]

No one replying despite 60+ views.. hope this changes when I wake up tomorrow morning,

[GemmaUK]

I viewed but I don't really know what you are asking.

 

You seemed to like her (ish) but are unhappy that she has other people interested in her.

 

You also say you do blank face with her.

Blank face doesn't win fair maiden.

She isn't getting any signals of interest from you from the sound of it.

[HappyLove]

Sounds like you have, no game. Pursue a nice girl who isn't as popular if you want a chance at dating. I cringed when you said you sat with her and her date....don't do that again. Just move on. I'm sure you'll find a great girl to date. Chat up a different girl at the next event. Good luck.

[PogoStick]

Good story.

[TheNextLawyer]

I viewed but I don't really know what you are asking.

 

You seemed to like her (ish) but are unhappy that she has other people interested in her.

 

You also say you do blank face with her.

Blank face doesn't win fair maiden.

She isn't getting any signals of interest from you from the sound of it.

 

I already said how I expressed some interest, but there were things she did that made me cool down.

[TheNextLawyer]

Sounds like you have, no game. Pursue a nice girl who isn't as popular if you want a chance at dating. I cringed when you said you sat with her and her date....don't do that again. Just move on. I'm sure you'll find a great girl to date. Chat up a different girl at the next event. Good luck.

 

Thanks for good intended advice. I think I have some game but with no financial independence and no place of my own at this point, I have less immediate *need* to get someone, when they may well have strict criteria.

 

Maybe its cringe-worthy that I sat as long as I did, but her date also did little to assert his authority. Maybe she likes more passive men and her and I would be too much at loggerheads - as seemed on the third meeting. I personally think its a bit verging on 'attention whore' to have the meetup as a starter before the main course of the date. She could have gone somewhere else - heck, everyone else who left in the middle did that.

 

But, 'happylove' if you 100% know that her looking over at me meant I was in the wrong, that's great. Only I think that I have had similar looks like that before and they don't always mena one thing ...

[GemmaUK]

I already said how I expressed some interest, but there were things she did that made me cool down.

 

Where?

 

This bit?

 

I go down back to the bar and she is seemingly on a date with someone she met outside of meetup. I sit with them for about 5/10 minutes and just act nonchalent. Nice enough guy who says more interesting stuff than the other two I mentioned above. I still make it clear I like her but then go off to the bar and chat with the remaining meetup people.

 

What did you say to make it clear you like her?

[TheNextLawyer]

Thanks again for replying, but I didn't perhaps elaborate enough with regard to the more active threads here not having the longest OP lengths.

 

 

...

 

Well I've pretty much decided to move on now. I really liked her on some levels but being quite a moody person - whether for scientific or more intangible reasons - I need a 'half-glass-full' type. Also someone who is looking to do a post-grad career is not the right fit as I have a very cynical view of the academic world. I often also find many people who didn't get a degree or even go to school past 16 being just as worth my time as they have other life skills that I want to try and emulate.

 

I would still try to be a decent friendly acquaintance as anyone who is not originally from this country will always have some empathy from me, given my own diverse heritage.

[Do_The_Herp]

Sounds like you have, no game. Pursue a nice girl who isn't as popular if you want a chance at dating. I cringed when you said you sat with her and her date....don't do that again. Just move on. I'm sure you'll find a great girl to date. Chat up a different girl at the next event. Good luck.

 

Sounds like you have, nothing of worth to say for the OP. Try harder next time, maybe?