Thoughts on my First Date?

[mirage12]

Went out on to dinner with a girl last night. We hit it off pretty well - hung out for maybe 3.5 hours, the conversation was good and we both laughed a lot. She made a lot of references to places she'd have to show me/things we'd have to do, etc. so I could tell that she was thinking ahead. She was also pretty flirty/touchy. It was cold outside so I was basically hugging her to keep her warm and she held my hand in the cab ride home. After that, we got to my house and I thought she was going to just go to her car to go back home but she asked to come up and see my place/meet my dog. I showed her around and we hung out for a little while longer and eventually she left. I tried a few times subtly at the end of the night to lean in to kiss her but I could tell she was resisting, maybe a conservative first date thing.

 

The end of the date was a little weird. I walked her out of my place and to her car and she was holding onto my arm, etc., but when she got to the car it was a very brief goodbye. We didn't even hug or anything. We texted back and forth once after she got home and a little again this morning.

 

Anyone have thoughts on the weird end of the night or how things went? When should I ask her out again?

[Damaged217]

The end of a first date is always awkward. It doesn't mean she wasn't into you or didn't want a kiss. What did you guys talk about this morning? Did she have a good time? There is no wrong time to ask her out again. Just say you'd like to see her again and ask when she is free then go from there. If she ends up making excuses or says she's too busy, perhaps she wasn't feeling it as much as you thought. But her being touchy-feely is a good sign

[Chocolat]

Do you want to see her again? If so, ask her out. When? You can ask today for Sunday (maybe brunch) or for an evening during the week. Do what you want to do. If she likes you, she will say yes (or propose an alternate). If she doesn't, it won't matter when you ask.

[mirage12]

The end of a first date is always awkward. It doesn't mean she wasn't into you or didn't want a kiss. What did you guys talk about this morning? Did she have a good time? There is no wrong time to ask her out again. Just say you'd like to see her again and ask when she is free then go from there. If she ends up making excuses or says she's too busy, perhaps she wasn't feeling it as much as you thought. But her being touchy-feely is a good sign

 

This morning's convo was pretty brief/surface level. We had this weird type of sake that we both liked and I found where you can buy it and texted her about that. We went back and forth a little about that and the restaurant we went to (she picked it, a sushi place) and she said that she knew a lot more good restaurants. Our last texts were me making fun of her for eating some raw pieces (she has some weird fear of mercury poisoning), she replied with a "Haha. ;)" and I didn't respond.

 

I think she had a good time? She laughed a lot and was flirty, and she asked to come up and see my place so I'm assuming that was a good thing, even if nothing really happened.

[mirage12]

Do you want to see her again? If so, ask her out. When? You can ask today for Sunday (maybe brunch) or for an evening during the week. Do what you want to do. If she likes you, she will say yes (or propose an alternate). If she doesn't, it won't matter when you ask.

 

She's very attractive, so yeah I would like to see her again. Brunch on Sunday would be good, but I'm slightly hesitant to move too quickly for a few reasons. I got out of a breakup 5 months ago that was very hard for me, and this is the first date I've gone on where I'm interested. She's also raised a few red flags to me - she's a self-proclaimed romantic, wants to find herself "the man of her dreams" and so I'm a little hesitant about moving too quickly. She's also slightly older than me (she's 32, I'm 26), so I know she's in the female age range where she's really looking for something very serious.

[LustAppeal]

My honest opinion; unless I was there and in your shoes I don't think any of us could give you a true right answer. Yea there are allot if factors like body language throughout the night that non of us could see or pickup on. Saying that, with the info you provided, maybe the way you pushed for a kiss through it off. She came up to your apartment after the date, that's when you take the whole "it's only the first date" thing and toss it out the windo and start pushing on a more physical level. You had no clue what her intentions were. Maybe she wanted to sleep with you, maybe she was scouting out how you live, maybe she stole $100 before leaving.

[Stay]

^^ Exactly that, no one can tell you if anything went well or not from this. It's much more than just an explanation. Just give it a shot and ask her out again and if she agrees then great, successful first date. If she denies then you two just didn't have chemistry or she just didn't like you enough.

[brandon26003]

Normally women ask to come in when they intend to have sex. You may not have been aggressive enough which threw her off. I'm not a fan of playing games to see if someone likes me, ie waiting a few days to contact. If it feels right, ask the next day. Id rather take a chance of asking now, cuz if you don't, you could be second guessing yourself later. Good luck!

[J21]

This is just me, but I think showing her your place on the first date is a bit too much.

 

Are you in a relationship with her? What was the rush? You gave it all away! Things about where/how you live will eventually unravel as you develop a relationship.

 

How does she not know you invite every girl who wants to come up on your first date? She's seen where you live, how you live, and pretty much made an assessment on your lifestyle and you just met this woman! And what do you know about her lifestyle?

 

And dude, her resisting your kiss wasn't an accident. I'm sure she knew what you were trying to do as you weren't the first person in the history of her life to lean in for a kiss. You rushed it or she was losing her interest.

 

Since this was the first date, I assume you've never parted ways before. So don't hold too much weight on the not hugging thing. I think I would be more concerned about the kiss resist than the no hug.