thecrucible Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 This happened to me. I was seeing this guy, went on a couple of dates then one thing led to another and we got intimate. A few hours later, I had a moment of clarity and realised that I didn't see long-term potential in him. It was nothing to do with the sex - I just didn't feel we had enough in common, and something just didn't feel right even though I was holding hands with him and all this - I didn't feel any kind of spark with him. He told me he loved me pretty quickly but there were other things that put me off. I felt terrible about it but I knew breaking up with him was the right thing to do, although we weren't exclusive at the time. So a day later I told him how sorry I was but that I didn't see us going any further. I felt really bad about it. He kept calling so I eventually had to delete his number because I had started seeing someone else and he kept texting me asking me to see him. Thing is his friend keeps giving me crap about this. I told his friend that I'm sorry it didn't work out and that I apologised to his friend and didn't want to lead him on further by continuing to date him. I had to quit my fitness class because his friend, my instructor just announced to the whole class that I'm "a slut who used my friend for sex". I honestly didn't. It was just terrible timing on my part. I admit we got physical too quickly but I genuinely wanted a better outcome than what happened. I saw him again on New Years' Eve. He put a few moves on me but I pulled away. I saw him at a house party and he told me he was meeting a few friends out and asked me to join. I said "sure" but when we got there it was just me and him. He then tried to kiss me and hold my hand but I pulled away. He invited me back to his flat for cuddles but I said "no". At the point I had broken up with my ex and wasn't interested in dating anyone. I also knew I didn't want to lead him on. He had been friendly to me before but now he is avoiding me completely. I have decided not to try and approach and just leave him alone. What can I do to sort out this mess? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Men are usually extremely loyal in their friendships. The dude you called it off with was probably really hurt by it. His friend felt he owed it to his friend to be loyal and make the enemies of his friends his own. Don't take it personally. I actually have been told that my friends have harassed my ex at her and my former job. Unbeknownst to me. Our friends just care about us, that's all. But that would probably hurt my feelers too, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted April 17, 2014 Author Share Posted April 17, 2014 Men are usually extremely loyal in their friendships. The dude you called it off with was probably really hurt by it. His friend felt he owed it to his friend to be loyal and make the enemies of his friends his own. Don't take it personally. I actually have been told that my friends have harassed my ex at her and my former job. Unbeknownst to me. Our friends just care about us, that's all. But that would probably hurt my feelers too, haha. I just feel really bad because I was drunk and sort of pushed it too far...I think the guy didn't mind waiting but I felt ready to have sex at that point. How wrong I was? Because in the cold light of day, reality hit . I regret hurting him ever since. I thought it was best to deal with it sooner rather than later. Hence my thread the other day explaining what a bad person I am...and why I want to take it slower with people in future. I don't know what else to do. But I've decided not to try and approach him out of respect for his feelings. Sometimes I want to say sorry again but then I realise that I don't want to get in the way of him and I want to leave him alone. Yeah it guess it makes sense with his friend. We still talk to each other (he's my friend's brother) but still slightly awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
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