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Lied about age

whatitdo

By whatitdo,
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whatitdo

whatitdo

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Ok.... So we go to school together and one day she asked how old I was and not even thinking bout it I said 25 (she is 21). Well we were just friends... Now three months later we have fallen madly in love and well I'm actually 37.... I know it's a deal breaker but don't know how to tell her.... I know she isn't gonna forgive me.... But I literally don't know how to do it.... I'm not dumb I know what love is and I truly love this girl... What should I do

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hoping2heal

hoping2heal

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LOL - you claimed to be 12 years younger than you actually are "without even thinking about it". I have lied about my age a few times this year..said I was a year younger than I am. But, that's because I really had just said my former age without thinking about it. Now if you said you were 36, I would get it. Yet, here you are..trying to lie to complete strangers in a message board. Your lying will eventually blow up the relationship and I'll let you in on a secret you don't claim to know; just because you have strong emotional feelings for someone does not mean you love them, because if you think lying to someone to get in a relationship or keeping them from leaving you is love, then 37 or not you have some growing up to do.

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bluegreen

bluegreen

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LOL - you claimed to be 12 years younger than you actually are "without even thinking about it". I have lied about my age a few times this year..said I was a year younger than I am. But, that's because I really had just said my former age without thinking about it. Now if you said you were 36, I would get it. Yet, here you are..trying to lie to complete strangers in a message board. Your lying will eventually blow up the relationship and I'll let you in on a secret you don't claim to know; just because you have strong emotional feelings for someone does not mean you love them, because if you think lying to someone to get in a relationship or keeping them from leaving you is love, then 37 or not you have some growing up to do.

 

 

 

I agree completly

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Noproblem

Noproblem

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Posted
Ok.... So we go to school together and one day she asked how old I was and not even thinking bout it I said 25 (she is 21). Well we were just friends... Now three months later we have fallen madly in love and well I'm actually 37.... I know it's a deal breaker but don't know how to tell her.... I know she isn't gonna forgive me.... But I literally don't know how to do it.... I'm not dumb I know what love is and I truly love this girl... What should I do

 

What a tough situation

I really understand this is hard, but eventually you have to tell her

 

How it sucks to be with someone so younger than you, yet you two seems the same age sometimes

 

Not fair.

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freetolove

freetolove

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My boyfriend had lied about his age by a few years and to be honest, it still bothers me a little. He did tell me one month into it and he was really upset about it. Your age difference is a lot bigger so it's problematic.

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InnocentMan

InnocentMan

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Lol, and she believed you? You've come this far, so you might as well go with it. Get some false ID's, and hope you don't suddenly start ageing. She'll dump you for sure if you tell her now. You went too far.

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gaius

gaius

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I've lost count of the people who have passed up wonderful relationships because they get hung up on the age thing. Just keep quiet. There's no reason she has to know you're really that old.

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David87

David87

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I've lost count of the people who have passed up wonderful relationships because they get hung up on the age thing. Just keep quiet. There's no reason she has to know you're really that old.

 

Don't tell her, just keep the secret for now.

 

The relationship won't last long unfortunately because of the age difference so enjoy it while you have it.

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David87

David87

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Don't say anything. The next time she asks you how old you are, just say your real age. If she says "I thought you said you were 25". Just act like you never said it. "Hmmm...I never said that" then subtely change the topic to something more important so she doesn't suspect.

 

 

NOOOO, don't do this....

 

Dr Strange how old are you? 12 ??

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ExpatInItaly

ExpatInItaly

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Tell her the truth. You didn't man up the first time, but now's your chance. 12 years is not something you lie about "without thinking." Come on, OP. You knew what you were doing. Deceiving a girl to improve your chances is weak.

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Valen

Valen

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I've lost count of the people who have passed up wonderful relationships because they get hung up on the age thing. Just keep quiet. There's no reason she has to know you're really that old.

 

How do you know it would have been wonderful relationships? You don't. The fact that age differences matters to these people means it's unlikely to work out. I think it's a pretty creepy thing to do to lie about one's age to that extent. I rather be a man of honor and tell the truth from the beginning than lying my way into a relationship.

 

And there is a big reason she has to know his real age if it's a problem for her. Imagine if you have a 18 yr old daughter and she brought home this new boyfriend she says is 22. And the guy had lied to your daughter. You found out he was really 36, wouldn't you be pissed? Would you be telling the guy, "Hey, there is no reason my daughter needs to know, carry on fella."

 

I personally have no problems with people dating that has big age gaps but I think it should start from a place of honesty. This is the only way they can have a chance at a wonderful relationship.

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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Ok.... So we go to school together and one day she asked how old I was and not even thinking bout it I said 25 (she is 21). Well we were just friends... Now three months later we have fallen madly in love and well I'm actually 37.... I know it's a deal breaker but don't know how to tell her.... I know she isn't gonna forgive me.... But I literally don't know how to do it.... I'm not dumb I know what love is and I truly love this girl... What should I do

 

Yes you are dumb.

 

You took away from her the right to decide if she wanted a relationship with a man 16 years older than her. ...and you call that love?

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oz-missy

oz-missy

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The relationship won't last long unfortunately because of the age difference so enjoy it while you have it.

 

I'm curious to know why you think that a 16 year age difference will automatically mean the relationship won't last?

 

(from someone in a LTR with a 20 year age difference)

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gaius

gaius

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How do you know it would have been wonderful relationships? You don't. The fact that age differences matters to these people means it's unlikely to work out. I think it's a pretty creepy thing to do to lie about one's age to that extent. I rather be a man of honor and tell the truth from the beginning than lying my way into a relationship.

 

And there is a big reason she has to know his real age if it's a problem for her. Imagine if you have a 18 yr old daughter and she brought home this new boyfriend she says is 22. And the guy had lied to your daughter. You found out he was really 36, wouldn't you be pissed? Would you be telling the guy, "Hey, there is no reason my daughter needs to know, carry on fella."

 

I personally have no problems with people dating that has big age gaps but I think it should start from a place of honesty. This is the only way they can have a chance at a wonderful relationship.

If my 16 year old sister brought home a guy who was actually in school and doing something productive I'd be thrilled. Even if he was 97 pretending to be 22. Right now she's all involved with a guy on the sex offender registry who has no job and lives with his parents, who are also on the sex offender registry. :rolleyes:

 

If you want to be the guy who gets to sit there with his cock in his hand while all the other guys run away with the women that's fine. The guys who are willing to work hard to stimulate their partners always win. Not the guy's who insist on absolute truth. ;)

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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Posted (edited)

When my daughter was 21, I was 41.

 

If she had told me that her boyfriend of 25 lied to her and is actually is 37, sh1.t would have hit the fan.

 

A 37 year old hitting on 21 years old has something wrong with him, that is why women his age won't have anything to do with him. His BS would be instantly detected by a woman his age but young women are gullible and inexperienced, they're easy preys.

 

Also this young woman has friends and parents. Most 21 y/o lives home and still need their parents support to go to college. What could you possibly have in common with someone barely coming out of her teenage years!!!

 

If she were 30 and you 46 I couldn't care less but at 21, and you're 37, shame on you! Let her discover life through the eyes of a 21 y/o, not through the eyes of a 37 y/o who's already done his experiences.

Edited by Gaeta
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soccerrprp

soccerrprp

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Man up, let her know ASAP, so she can decide what to do next.

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JamesM

JamesM

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Reminds me of the Friends episode when Monica lies about her age to this young college "senior." She says she is 22 or 23 when she was really 27. Finally she confesses only to have the young man confess to being only 17! :laugh:

 

At this point you might as well keep it a secret. Having said that, don't bother thinking this will be a long term relationship. No way she will accept you as 37. No way will she accept it when you say that this is the only thing you have lied about.

 

A 25 year old going to school? Not so bad. A 37 year old? Not so good.

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KathyM

KathyM

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You should tell her the truth. It's not fair to her to maintain this lie in order to manipulate her into a relationship with you. She has a right to know the truth.

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RonaldS

RonaldS

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A 25 year old going to school? Not so bad. A 37 year old? Not so good.

 

Interesting. I just finished up school (again) at almost 40. Totally different career path, requires a professional license that I couldn't get with my BS. I didn't feel weird about it, and there were tons of people my age in the program. Or would it be better to just stay stuck professionally?

 

Now, if he started school when he was 18 and is still there at 37....yeah, that could be a bit of a red flag.

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