napy666 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I am a picky dater and my mom agrees and she says I am going to be alone forever if I don't cut down on my restrictions with dating guys. I think she is right but I have my limits and don't want to back down from them. I keep thinking I will be single forever and ever. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I am a picky dater and my mom agrees and she says I am going to be alone forever if I don't cut down on my restrictions with dating guys. I think she is right but I have my limits and don't want to back down from them. I keep thinking I will be single forever and ever. It depends on your criteria. Do you have a plan for what you're going to do if you do remain single? You can't rely on a man to rescue you from your parent's house. What are your plans for your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 Been applying for work on and off but no luck there. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Been applying for work on and off but no luck there. There's no 'on and off' when applying for work. If you need it, that's your focus, day in, day out. It's not about luck. It's about determination. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 You are still only in your 20s. There is no reason to have this rant for another decade or two... I predict you won't find the right guy until your early thirties. Print this prediction out and hide it away for ten years to see if I am right. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 There's no 'on and off' when applying for work. If you need it, that's your focus, day in, day out. It's not about luck. It's about determination. Exactly, OP, you need to be dedicated when looking for a job. Not off and on. You're looking at a relationship as the solver of all your problems, when it need to be an enhancer. You should be focused on a job/education, moving out of home, and then think about a relationship. You can't expect a relationship is going to solve everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Armegoggon Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I would suggest lowering at least 1 requirement of a date of you. I'd say maybe practice out a few short dates and then eventually when you find the perfect date, you won't make a mistake. Practice makes perfect after all. What if you never dated anybody and end up finding the perfect person? Then if he breaks up with you then you'd feel very awful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 I don't need a education. I have been applying for work and I am going to try getting my driver's license again. I want a relationship again I hate being alone and being home all the time I wanna go out again. And I am not removing any of my restrictions there all important to me. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Am I going to be single forever? I absolutely refuse to date anybody that isn't as hot as Kim Kardashian. ---------------------------- Yeah.... At some point in your life you are going to have to figure out what your absolute requirements are. If you refuse to settle, then you must uplift yourself to be desirable to that type of person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 My requirements is that the guy Does not drink, smoke, or do drugs, doesn't have or want kids. Wants to get married. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I don't need a education. I have been applying for work and I am going to try getting my driver's license again. I want a relationship again I hate being alone and being home all the time I wanna go out again. And I am not removing any of my restrictions there all important to me. You don't need a relationship to go out and have a good time. That's what friends are for. You're relying on a boyfriend to make your life "better", and they can't. Only you can do that. Link to post Share on other sites
quidproquo89 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 My requirements is that the guy Does not drink, smoke, or do drugs, doesn't have or want kids. Wants to get married. that doesn't sound too limited, it takes some people more time to get a relationship. All factors can come in to play when it comes to whether you get the guy/girl or not. It isn't always fault orientated, just a strange game this dating business. Keep getting yourself out there, chat and smile to everybody. Start conversations, and go to places where you can meet people. No expectations just get out there and one of these times... Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 My requirements is that the guy Does not drink, smoke, or do drugs, doesn't have or want kids. Wants to get married. Are you sure that those are the only requirements you have for a guy? If you are being honest, then you shouldn't have any trouble at all. Link to post Share on other sites
UnlitCandle Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 My requirements is that the guy Does not drink, smoke, or do drugs, doesn't have or want kids. Wants to get married. In essence, you're looking for a relatively smart guy, and a tame one at that. Its gonna be harder to get one that's smart and doesn't want kids though... I don't need a education. I have been applying for work and I am going to try getting my driver's license again. I want a relationship again I hate being alone and being home all the time I wanna go out again. And I am not removing any of my restrictions there all important to me. If you're looking for a relatively smart guy, education is a must. I personally went through 10 years of post secondary education, and wouldn't really want to date anyone without at least a bachelor's degree. Mostly because it was difficult to carry a conversation with someone that's not well educated, and the fact that I really wouldn't want to invest time in someone who never really invested in themselves. As it was explained to me, relationships create more problems than they solve, its a journey that two people take together to solve those problems and ultimately bond with each other. If you don't want to be alone, simply go out, or do what I do, have board game night and invite everybody. You'll be surprised at how many people will show up. Link to post Share on other sites
bobsmith76 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I am a picky dater and my mom agrees and she says I am going to be alone forever if I don't cut down on my restrictions with dating guys. I think she is right but I have my limits and don't want to back down from them. I keep thinking I will be single forever and ever. I would really consider lowering your standards. Every day on online dating sites I see dozens of single women who have never been married and are over 35 years old and they all made the same mistake: they were too picky. Now they are too old and the only men they can get is someone who is divorced and hence not good at relationships or men fathered bastards and consequently are irresponsible. People are way too demanding when it comes to choosing a mate. They want their mate to be perfect and they cannot understand that such mates just don't exist. I know this from experience. I met a fabulous woman at the age of 32 but I rejected her because I was too picky. Now I'm 37 and I'm finding it very hard to get a date, to say nothing of getting to the 4th or 5th date. Link to post Share on other sites
bobsmith76 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 You might also want to consider the fact that 10% of the women are getting 90% of the proposals. So the 90% that are not in high demand have to face up to the hard reality that they just cannot be picky. Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 I would really consider lowering your standards. Every day on online dating sites I see dozens of single women who have never been married and are over 35 years old and they all made the same mistake: they were too picky. Now they are too old and the only men they can get is someone who is divorced and hence not good at relationships or men fathered bastards and consequently are irresponsible. People are way too demanding when it comes to choosing a mate. They want their mate to be perfect and they cannot understand that such mates just don't exist. I know this from experience. I met a fabulous woman at the age of 32 but I rejected her because I was too picky. Now I'm 37 and I'm finding it very hard to get a date, to say nothing of getting to the 4th or 5th date. Yeah yeah I've heard this all before. But I refuse to date a guy that drinks, smokes, or does drugs and I never want kids ever in my life so I don't want him to have kids and I want to get married someday but I know most guys don't want marriage anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 My requirements is that the guy Does not drink, smoke, or do drugs, doesn't have or want kids. Wants to get married. Thanks napy, it made my day. You just describe me. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. And I don't want kids but would love to marry. I am pretty sure I'll be alone forever since most girls wants kids or has kids already at my age. Don't change your standards. If you know what you want, why settle. I wish you the best. I bet you'll find someone someday because you're still quite young. Lots of time. Link to post Share on other sites
UnlitCandle Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Yeah yeah I've heard this all before. But I refuse to date a guy that drinks, smokes, or does drugs and I never want kids ever in my life so I don't want him to have kids and I want to get married someday but I know most guys don't want marriage anymore. I get the smoking and drugs part, but drinking? Or do you mean alcoholism? 95% of the men I know drinks either socially or with their significant other. The only ones that doesn't drink are the devout religious ones. What if it was THE ONE, but he enjoys his fine scotch on a lazy Saturday evening? Not wanting kids EVER... There are women out there who say that, then live in regret for the rest of their lives because they didn't really think it through. Not trying to change your mind, just saying you shouldn't limit yourself like that. Also, there is an old law in Alchemy called equivalent exchange, to gain something, you must give something of equal value in return. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I keep thinking I will be single forever and ever. Me too..................... Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I would really consider lowering your standards. Every day on online dating sites I see dozens of single women who have never been married and are over 35 years old and they all made the same mistake: they were too picky. Now they are too old and the only men they can get is someone who is divorced and hence not good at relationships or men fathered bastards and consequently are irresponsible. People are way too demanding when it comes to choosing a mate. They want their mate to be perfect and they cannot understand that such mates just don't exist. I know this from experience. I met a fabulous woman at the age of 32 but I rejected her because I was too picky. Now I'm 37 and I'm finding it very hard to get a date, to say nothing of getting to the 4th or 5th date. There's nothing wrong with her standards, if that which she has listed is the end of them. If she doesn't want kids, she can't "lower" her standards and bring children into a world where they are not wanted. If wants a teetotaler, she can have one. The problem is the fact that she is unemployed, and unmotivated. If you can't get a job, you should be at least killing any idleness by furthering education (particularly accounting/reception/secretarial skills, so that you can apply for temp office work) and volunteering. She should be meeting new people and making friends and building a social circle, and getting out of the house. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Standards cause you not to get a date = you don't really want to date on some level. Link to post Share on other sites
drew232 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 There's no 'on and off' when applying for work. If you need it, that's your focus, day in, day out. I disagree, It's often hard to put 100% into one part of your life when the other part is lacking. You can be determined all you want but you can't completely ignore the rest of your life. Maybe this is different for women but I often find it much easier to focus on professional/career type things when I'm talking to a few girls on the side. Link to post Share on other sites
bryceisbryce Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 If those are truly your only standards then you're not being unreasonable at all. I think you should focus on improving yourself and building your confidence. You don't need a boyfriend to go out and do things. Become more independent by getting a job, making friends, and getting your license. Just enjoy your life, stay open to finding a relationship, and be patient. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I disagree, It's often hard to put 100% into one part of your life when the other part is lacking. You can be determined all you want but you can't completely ignore the rest of your life. Maybe this is different for women but I often find it much easier to focus on professional/career type things when I'm talking to a few girls on the side. I see your point. And while OP has standards for the man she wants, she needs to realize she may not meet the standards of those men. 27, living at home, no job, doesn't drive. Not sure how many guys out there are looking for a dependent. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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