Would you court like a Duggar if it meant true love?

[HappyLove]

I'm vaguely familiar with the Duggar family. They are very religious and have like 19 kids. Well their daughters are courted and as the mom explained it's waiting for the one God has for you and considering if that's who you want to marry. You are chaperoned and there is no kissing or holding hands.

 

Considering how much of a disaster dating can be. People using you and throwing you away. Kicking you to the curb after sex, always thinking the grass is greener and off to the next conquest. I won't even get into the nightmare of OLDing. Sure there are people who find love but we're not talking about them. I'm talking about us out here who try and try again but can't find someone who's not into games or compatible to us.

 

Well it got me thinking. What if you had the chance to court and find a great spouse that you truly fell in love with, would you do it? Would you rather have not lived such a hectic pace of dating and heartbreak? Some of us out here struggle to even date period, have never even had a date. Do you think courting would have helped you?

 

I honestly think I'd answer yes. I'd rather have the chance to court than deal with all the deceit out here. There are people so hurt they carry the scars of dating their entire lives. The men the Duggar daughters courted with are very good looking,educated, and have good jobs. The girls are very smart, sweet, and pretty as well. And you do have a say in it, if you like the guy or girl it's not like it's a forced arranged marriage. At least you're both going in very serious with marriage in mind. I think one of our problems today is we have TOO MANY choices. So you end up going on an endless amount of dates with people not even worth your time in many cases.

 

It just seems not so bad and would make life a whole lot easier.

Knowing what you know now about life and how hard dating can be. Do you think you would have liked the opportunity to court?

[d0nnivain]

No. I would not.

 

 

I need hand holding & kisses at least.

 

 

While I certainly wasn't a virgin when I married, there is nothing wrong with waiting but I think the Duggar style is too far the other way.

 

 

I can't image getting my 1st kiss at the alter on my wedding day. As anybody who has ever kissed a bad kisser, that would be awful to be saddled with forever. (It's not like that culture is going to accept a divorce.)

[Candy_Pants]

I love the Duggars. And this is coming from a "buddhist-ish" kinky freakazoid. They seem like wonderful people.

 

Would I court like the Duggars? No. Sex is very important to me. I DID court like the Duggars in hs, however. And the guys who weren't really into me, ended things very fast. Only one stuck with me, and after 6 months I kinda convinced him to do more than peck .

 

If my future children would like to court in a way like the Duggars, I'd fully support them. However I wouldn't force such strictness upon them. Since they're my children they'd rebel anyway .

[Candy_Pants]

Kissing can be learned. That's how we all did it at first!! And imagine the patience you'd have if it were with someone you truly loved. I was probably an awful kisser till 22. Because I didn't enjoy it.

 

I'm learning that real love needs patience you never thought you had. But it's worth it.

[Allumere]

I think there is a happy medium. I also think there is a lot to be said for not getting involved sexually. I dislike the courting extreme they practice although its common among the more conservative Christians. It seems to me that it can (not always) really stifle the ability communicate with the opposite sex and can almost create a fear. I also have read countless stories of young men and women with such an extreme list of qualifiers that they become old single men and women. Getting to know one another on a "friends" basis I think is the plus although I do think alone time is necessary for two people to really talk to one another and when courting those occasions aren't really there. In the end, I don't know if there is an advantage (i.e, instances of divorces)..it's a hard call as well because unless someone screws around, they aren't suppose to divorce.

[Woggle]

I don't want to do anything like the Duggars but I do think there is a happy medium between that and what we see too often today.

[StanMusial]

I never heard of them but I think there's a lot to be said for "courting" instead of just dating slews of girls and just trying to get laid. With a few exceptions, most of the women I grew up with in my family (sisters and cousins) were "courted". There were a few "black sheep" that showed up at family functions with "the flavor of the month"... they are now in their 30/40's and divorced or otherwise single.

[Goldenbrwn]

Maybe in my younger days when I had unrealistic expectations for women. Now that I understand women are not angels and are just as flawed as men and sometimes more then no.

 

Also I hear a lot of other guys express that the more they court the worse things work out for them. More than likely men who are in a position to be picky (the guys most women are most interested in) are less likely to do as much or as drawn out a courtship since they don't have to.