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Am i overthinking this?


Rubberband Man

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Rubberband Man

So i met this really cool girl through POF a while ago. We had been talking for about a month. We both live in the city now, but moved from around the same place in the countryside, though we never knew each other. After talking for quite some time we both met up. We hung out, played pool had some drinks watched some sports at the pub, and stayed out pretty late. She caught the last bus, back to her area of town, and she said i had a good time we will have to do it again, but no sign she was interested. She was starting to flirt kinda as we were walking to the bus stop, but I'm not sure if that was the alcohol or what. After that night we continue to text back and forth for the week. But she stops replying about mid week. I notice she is still on POF quite a bit, but doesn't answer my text for 2 days. I kinda thought she wasent interested at this point so i kinda accept the fact she found someone else. Just before the weekend thought she texts me and says, shes going out with her friends on Saturday night to the club, and asks if i want to come after work. So i said sure, i barley know her but i figure what do i have to loose. So i meet her at work, we end up going to a house party first, then the club later on. Well we are there, her friends are all buying rounds. She tells me that drinking inset really her thing, but then proceeded to buy herself and only me a drink, in her group. None else, i got confused by this. Ended up dancing with only her the whole time we were there. After we leave and take the bus home, her friend gets off first, and then its just her and i for a little while. We have some laughs, i wonder if i should make a move, she then gets off the bus and says well i will talk to you later and smiles, but doesn't show shes interested again? Then i get home she texts me to make sure i made it alright, because i was a little drunk. Afterwards thought she hasent initiated a text to me all weekend, but is still online on POF. What does that meen? Does she like me or am i over thinking this way too much, mabey im on the fast track to the friendzone

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She DOES like you or she wouldn't have asked you to hang out. She wouldn't be smiley and flirty. She's waiting for you to make a move. Have you asked her on a proper date?

 

"I had a good time, lets's do it again", "I will talk to you later" = signs of interest. Did you talk to her after she texted making sure you got home okay?

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What are you thinking making a move when you haven't even asked her out on a proper date?!?

 

As Midwest said--she has given you hint after hint that's she's waiting for you to ask, including that drinking isn't her thing (both times you've seen her has involved alcohol). Wake up!!!

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Rubberband Man

Yes i did but only briefly, as it was 2am and she said goodnight. The next day though she didn't say anything. I texted her in the evening asking how she was doing, she told me about her day and then said she was out at a basketball game with her friends, She said goodnight later on i guess she dident reply because she was busy. I haven't heard from her since then, it dosent seem like she initiates the conversations. wondering if thats a bad sign. I was going to ask her if she wants to go hiking next weekend. We havent gone on a real date, i dont think shes looking for that, its all just been casual so far

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You don't know that, because you HAVEN'T ASKED. The guy has to do the asking. It sounds like you're waiting for her to initiate. Why is that?

 

By now, she's starting to think you're just wasting her time. Ask her to go hiking! (You are headed to the friend zone, you know that, right?)

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Yes i did but only briefly, as it was 2am and she said goodnight. The next day though she didn't say anything. I texted her in the evening asking how she was doing, she told me about her day and then said she was out at a basketball game with her friends, She said goodnight later on i guess she dident reply because she was busy. I haven't heard from her since then, it dosent seem like she initiates the conversations. wondering if thats a bad sign. I was going to ask her if she wants to go hiking next weekend. We havent gone on a real date, i dont think shes looking for that, its all just been casual so far
She did not say anything the following day because early like this we expect the guy to contact us the following day to tell us he had a good time and would like to do it again. So no it's not unusual that she does not initiate that much at the beginning, we expect the guy to lead, follow up, come up with invitations!
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She DID initiate! She called and invited you to join her at the club. The ball is in YOUR court--She's NOT going to invite you again or initiate anything until you ask her out.

 

I'm curious, what kind of girls do you usually date? Or, rather, do you "date" at all or do you just "meet up" a few times then make a move? I'm not being snarky, I'm honestly wondering...thinking that maybe you just don't get what we are telling you--that committing to and planning proper date(s) shows that your interest is more than "casual".

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She DID initiate! She called and invited you to join her at the club. The ball is in YOUR court--She's NOT going to invite you again or initiate anything until you ask her out.

 

 

Exactly. She texted back and forth for half the week, waiting for you to ask, OP. When she abruptly stopped, it was because you hadn't been assertive.

 

You got lucky that she invited you to the club. She must have a soft spot for you. I guarantee she won't do the same this week. And for heaven's sake, don't mention that you've seen she's on POF when you *think* she should be texting you. What were all those texts about that first week if it wasn't leading up to the two of you meeting again?

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I have no idea why you are even asking this.

 

She chased you. You went quiet on her. She made the last meet happen.

 

Call her if you are interested.

Be aware that you might be too late by now though..

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