swedemonkey Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Curious if others have had successes or failures with internet dating sites. I recently read an article on dating that surveyed a number of couples and found the majority of those couples found their mate via a friend. Only 1% of the couples met their match through an internet dating site. Those odds are not good. Any successes/failures out there? My success with internet dating sites have not been spectacular. An ok-looking 37 year old guy, but very few looks at my profile, and no responses to flirts or emails. I wonder if internet dating sites cause people to be much 'pickier' than they normally would be. Most sites are visual/physical - what you see first is the little photograph, causing you to make an immediate decision/judgment. A large portion of the profile is dedicated to the physical - height/weight, hair, eyes, body shape, etc. Which is fine if it were part of the whole picture, I just wonder if this 'physical' has become the dominant criteria people (in my case women) use when they are browsing a guy's profile. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Some of the sites are heavy on text, as well. One of my friends has used one for a while because it gives members a lot of space to write. If she doesn't like the look of what she reads, that's what'll tank the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Bart_Weisser Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Originally posted by swedemonkey Curious if others have had successes or failures with internet dating sites ... Any successes/failures out there? My success with internet dating sites have not been spectacular. An ok-looking 37 year old guy, but very few looks at my profile, and no responses to flirts or emails. Join the club, mate. Here is my internat dating adventure ... one one night stand I would rather forget. I hope I am not telling you anything you know already. The odds for guys are pretty low, unless you're like genetically engineered to be the perfect men, but then they will wonder why they are still single in the first place. There is, on average, a seven-to-one guys to girls ratio on internet dating. If girls were equally aggressive than guys, they would still get hit on seven times more often! You do the math. Now you have to factor in (a) fake posts for ladies ... you know, those their "friends" post up as a joke, and (b) hookers-in-disguise. I actually came across one and she asked for money on the date. I dashed. So the 1:7 ratio is more like 1:9 (my guess). These agencies don't make money off people who get hitched (in fact they'd lose two customers!) but instead they try to keep you in the game as long as they can. I have an inactive profile on Lavalife. Once in a while I will have some random person on my hotlist. I asked the people in question (that, of course, costs money) to see who did the hot-listing (because I certainly didn't) and they would have no clue. Chances are, Lavalife puts it there so that I would keep spending money, since I haven't been using it for months. Internet dating isn't for everyone, at least not for me. Frankly, I lost faith on the whole internet dating thing. I'd rather get dates the old fashion way. BW. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 I've never been a member of any online dating services, but I have had two long term relationships with people I originally met via the internet. Not that you care. Bleh. I wonder if internet dating sites cause people to be much 'pickier' than they normally would be. I would think so. Yes. I loved this ad I saw here for one online dating service: "Find your spouse. Not someone else's". They evidently 'screen' who joins so a bunch of married people don't end up there. What? I thought it was funny. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 I met my current guy online. Not on an actual dating site, but on a forum. Although I have met others online. It was my experience that the guys I met "the old fashioned way" turned out to be bigger nightmares then those I met online. I didn't fancy scouting the local meat markets and clubs for potential alcoholics or drug addicts, I refused to date anyone that I worked with, and RAN from those awkward hook-ups instigated by well-meaning friends. I would say it is difficult to gauge someone's honesty in the beginning…no matter where you happen to meet them. And it's true, there are those posting photos online that are old and in no way look like the person when you finally meet them in the flesh. In that case, you politely thank them for their time: pay for your own coffee; cut the date short and block their emails. They could be the nicest person in the world, but for me, if there's dishonesty right from the start, chances are there's a whole lot more coming. Females need to be to be extra careful. That's why the attractive women seldom post their photos…unless of course, you want to leave your credit card number. (eh-hem) For women, it is safer to browse the ads rather then posting their own. Otherwise, they become too overwhelmed with responses from every horny lurker out there in cyber space that they can't keep up. And sometimes, if they don't have a moment to immediately respond to the flood of emails…or even respond with a polite "no thanks"…the loonies get very angry, make threats, and it can be frightening! There are even some guys out there who send women nasty pornographic responses (and photos) instead of a genuine response. Id-jets! Believe me…you could never imagine what women have to go through until you've spent a day in her stilettos! There are a lot of wolves out there! FOR THE GALS: If you find someone you think you may be interested in meeting…get his phone number and arrange a time to call. DON'T give out yours. Have several phone conversations and get a better feel for this person before you EVER arrange to meet. People are NEVER the same when you "read" them online as they are when you finally speak to them in person. I have found that those who come off as intelligent and "put together" in their written responses are sometimes one fry short of a happy-meal once you get to know them. Intelligence does not equal sanity!! If you decide to meet…arrange a place IN PUBLIC during the day. Some place neutral and safe. Let a good friend or relative know where you are going and with whom. Promise to check in after the date to let them know if everything went okay. (I've done this for several of my gal pals and they have done the same for me.) All in all, Swedemonkey, I know several people who have met online and have later married. I can honestly say that I would have never bumped into my sweetie "by accident" if I hadn't found the courage to respond to his ad. I was nervous for sure, but in the last five years, there has never been a day that I've regretted it. My experience was a good one! Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 I did the online dating thing for about 8 months a few years ago. I met a lot of great and nice people, but not a love connection. Out of all the guys I dated, I am good friends with one and still keep in contact with another. I've found that a lot of online men are shy and lack social skills or they are committment phobics. I'm an outgoing person and need an outgoing mate so I met my honey working with doggies at a kennel. A handful of my friends have tried online dating too, to no avail. A friend of a friend actually had two long term relationships by meeting a guy online, but they never lasted. Like a previous poster said, the odds of actually having an online date materialize into something lasting is rare, but it does and can happen. It's worth a shot and you'll never know unless you've tried. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Enigma - excellent post! Great, fantastic advice to anyone who ventures into online-land. Link to post Share on other sites
teck21 Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Met my GF on lavalife, only the fourth person I went out with, so I guess I'm a lucky one. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I think it's weird. I just can't help it. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Mr. Spock, I'm Shocked: Not that you have an opinion about on-line dating, but That there's ANYTHING you would find weird! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Well, what's the point of TELLING me you're masturbating as we speak? I just found it incredibly silly. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Spock, this isn't about cybersex :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Anais Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 People, absolute success story here!!! Hubby and me met online 2 years ago. How I could find such a perfect match on a street, at work…? Right, one needs to be careful while dating online. But the same is in the real life! I am so lucky and I wish you all the same. Right now we have a small problem to solve. LDS ! Love my carrier and hubbie can’t get them together at the same place. I will be starting soon to look for a job where he is going to move next summer. We are planning to buy a house and move together then. Wish me good luck. It is not going to be easy to find the job I want! Link to post Share on other sites
Bart_Weisser Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 and I have been looking in the wrong places. On-line dating services would be like bars on the internet, and there are better places to look for someone on-line. I have to say, I have never though about it this way. Thanks, people, for restoring my faith on internet dating! BW. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Moimeme, it was like the 4th sentence he typed. I can't get into it the same way as in person-less like hunting, and more like throwing darts I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Moimeme, it was like the 4th sentence he typed. What are you on about? He was talking about meeting people at dating sites, not cybersex. I can't get into it the same way as in person-less like hunting, and more like throwing darts I guess. Is it just me or are you blathering? What on earth are you talking about? Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by DerangedAngel I loved this ad I saw here for one online dating service: "Find your spouse. Not someone else's". They evidently 'screen' who joins so a bunch of married people don't end up there. What? I thought it was funny. -Deranged There is an ad running on the radio in my city that says "One of every three people who are using online dating services is married" I think it's an ad for an alternative Christian dating site... not sure. Oh, and my mom is married to someone she met on an online dating service. So far so good. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Click the ads. They're partnered with Psychology Today. I think they just got real smart and realized that one reason people are turning away from internet dating sites is that they are hearing about how many married people are masquerading on them. So these folks threaten to prosecute any married people for fraud! Smart marketing tool, if you ask me. You don't have to be Christian to figure out how to make a buck Link to post Share on other sites
BurningBright Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 I have met two very great friends, that I originally started talking to on a instant messaging program. I met my current bf on a dating site however. It was luck of the draw. I intentionally signed on to the site to see if any of my friends were listed... (lol... how evil am I? ) He ended up msg'ing me out of the blue, and we then switched over to a instant messaging program, then eventually the phone, and finally in person. This lasted for almost a year (before we met in person). As stated before you do have to be careful... and luckily, we are both very "smart" when it comes to online meetings. ~BurningBright Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme What are you on about? He was talking about meeting people at dating sites, not cybersex. Is it just me or are you blathering? What on earth are you talking about? I'll simplify. What I was referring to was my experience at online dating on lavalife, where during the course of a conversation with some guy he told me he was jacking off after the 4th sentence he typed into the little chat thing. Hilarious. As for the online dating, I've tried to get into it but you can refer to the part where you stated I was "blathering" as for why I prefer to meet people in person. Hope that clears things up for you. If you can't understand what I type, perhaps it's time for a nap? Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 ........ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Link to post Share on other sites
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