marycc Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 We are in a Long Distance Relationship. 2 hours apart. We met 2 years ago, we talk everyday and were together 5 times before we started to date, and we had another 5 dates now that we have been together, since December. We are both 22. The last time we were together we got more intimate, he touched my butt and boobs (with clothes on) while we were making out, he asked if he could do it first and I said yes because I felt like doing it and I was enjoying our time together, and I also know that physical atrraction is a big factor in a relationship, and it's difficult to have that intimacy when we are apart. However, now every time that I think about it I start to feel insecure, that maybe it was too soon and that he will be using me just for the sake of having someone to cuddle/have sex every now and then even when he has been great with me and he respects me a lot, he even took me to meet his family the last time we were together, but I'm afraid this is the "honeymoon phase" and it will pass, that he will change. Anyway, I think I'm this insecure because when we broke up, my EX admmited that he was only using me for sex, that it was good to have someone "guaranteed" for him, and he also changed a lot after the first 6 months (and we were together almost 3 years) now I seem to have some trouble trusting this guy intentions, however, I really really want it to work this time! Btw, he knows the story with my EX boyfriend, and I've already told him that sometimes I'm afraid that it will happen again, and he reassures me that he would never do that. So, my final question is: Do you guys think it was "normal/ok" to let him touch me (after he asks) on our 5th time together since we have been dating? Should I be more careful the next time and establish some limits or just go with the flow? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 However, now every time that I think about it I start to feel insecure, that maybe it was too soon and that he will be using me just for the sake of having someone to cuddle/have sex every now and then even when he has been great with me and he respects me a lot, he even took me to meet his family the last time we were together, but I'm afraid this is the "honeymoon phase" and it will pass, that he will change. If he only wanted to be with someone for sex don't you think it would be easier for him to have that with someone local and not long distance? Letting a man you've know for 2 years, met 10 times, and been on 5 official dates, feel your body ON TOP of your clothes is not rushing it...in my book. Discuss with him what you would feel is an appropriate time to be intimate, it would be nice for him to know if he's looking at a couple more months, 6 months, or he should shop for an engagement ring. Also remember he is not your ex, and punishing him for your ex's hurting you isn't a good way to manage a relationship. In life there is NEVER any guarantee someone won't hurt us. If you want to experience love and passion then you have to accept it comes with a risk of being hurt. The good news is pain is temporary. We fall, we get up and dust ourselves and move on to someone better. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
RockGuy87 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 It wouldnt surprise me if your ex just didnt say that to get at you. 3 years is way too long to be "just for sex". Guys will find it else where rather than put up with the struggles of a 3 year relationship if thats all it was for. I dont think you should be worried about things going fast or any of that with this new guy. Even if you had had sex with him I still would say it wasnt to soon if you both feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Can't say it any better than Gaeta did. Just here to say your ex only said that to you to hurt you. Don't make your new guy pay for the mistakes of the old one. This new guy sounds like he's been very respectful towards you. Most men will not ask if they can touch you. I think he is being very considerate and he is not using you. Don't hold on to the past so much that you screw up a great thing in the present. If you keep comparing the old guy to the new....well there's only so much of that a person can take. Don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to either! Link to post Share on other sites
WrinkledForehead Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Three years and only a boob and butt feel is getting you worked up? Lmfao. I'd be more worked up at the fact that that's ALL I've gotten in two years, if I were in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 No one should have pre-marital sex ever. You should wait for at least an engagement before having sex. Try reading the book called the Rules. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 whoa. 2 years, and only feeling some boobs and butt. hahahaha Ive felt up chicks in clubs, that I dont even know. Anyway, answer to your question. Go with the flow 1 Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I think she said they've only been officially together since December. I would suggest that you not be in a relationship at this time with anyone since you need to work on your trust issues. I would also suggest after taking a break from relationships you only date guys who are local. People who get in long distance relationships usually do so because they have issues with intimacy. Link to post Share on other sites
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