avoforastig Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I find myself about to go on a third date with a woman. The first two dates were alright. I unexpectedly ending up spending the night at her place after the first two dates, but only made out/shared a bed with her. I find her very physically attractive and had fun hanging out with her. We also have some things in common. However, our conversations just seem to lack a spark that would probably garner make me more interested in her. I think this is partially due to the fact she seems a bit shy or awkward. I don't want to give her the wrong impression but I feel like things are going to continue escalating physically. I'd like to see if our conversations become more natural. However, due to social stigmas of third date = sex and my own sexual urges, I feel pressured to make a move even though I'm not really sure about her as a person. I'm not sure if I should just cut things loose or try to have somewhat of a casual relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
theediblewoman Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Why don't you have a daytime date (so you don't end up in bed), a fun activity that lets her personality shine through a bit more then decide what you want and be honest with her about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 You should go ahead and have sex with her. Break the tension. After that, I guarantee she'll open up. Then you can decide whether you really like her or not Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I don't know what the hang up about the 3rd date is. That would be WAY too soon for me but I also would not have shared a bed with a new guy at that point, either. Anyway, I like the suggestion of an afternoon date. If you really aren't attracted to her & think this doesn't have potential don't use her for sex. That's just mean. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Agree with Donnivain. The third date sex thing is utter trash and bs. I politely disagree with Assasda. Don't be 'that' guy. Kudos, OP, for considering another date to see if things will change for the better with this lady. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to open up. But if the third is like the other two, and you're just not feeling it, be done with it. Don't waste your time of hers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Where is this third date equals sex rule written? Is there a 10 commandments of dating somewhere I've missed? Link to post Share on other sites
isisisweeping Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Where is this third date equals sex rule written? Is there a 10 commandments of dating somewhere I've missed? No joke. As clear here, you don't even really know someone by then... More time would equal a clearer head, better knowledge of each other, and more comfort- which would only be positive if you do sleep together. Don't sleep with her until you know enough that you can be forthright about what you want or don't want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author avoforastig Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 No joke. As clear here, you don't even really know someone by then... More time would equal a clearer head, better knowledge of each other, and more comfort- which would only be positive if you do sleep together. Don't sleep with her until you know enough that you can be forthright about what you want or don't want. Thanks for the reassurance. I try to take things slow but often find women can force the issue too early. It's hard to turn down, but I definitely don't enjoy sex with women I don't care about. If anything, it just makes things complicated. Link to post Share on other sites
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