ddlovexx Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Hey guys, A little long but bear with me please. So I started a new job at a music store a few weeks ago. Me and one of my coworkers have a mutual attraction, so the other night we went out for a few drinks. We had a really good time... There was music so we were singing and laughing and we just clicked. I had my hand on his leg and his hand was on mine but it didn't go any further than that. Towards the end of the night I noticed he started growing distant. The conversation stopped and he looked tired and wasn't really acting the way he had acted earlier... so I let up. Around midnight he said he was tired and should probably go home. I said okay, we grabbed our stuff and walked out. I was hoping for a kiss but he just gave me a hug goodbye and that was it. So, I was pretty confused and bummed. I texted him saying "I thought the attraction was mutual... I apologize. Get home safe." and he replied saying that the attraction is mutual but he's had two bad experiences dating girls he worked with and he didn't want to make the same mistake again. He finished with "You're cute as hell and I'd love to make something of this... but I've been down this road before." I still couldn't/can't really help but feel crummy about it. I haven't genuinely liked and felt comfortable and clicked with a guy this way in a while. The next day he texted me saying he didn't want to make things complicated and wanted to be friends and I replied "Of course, nothing has changed. Don't worry about it at all" even though inside I was thinking "wow this sucks". He replied saying that I was a really cool, great girl, blah blah. So at work yesterday I basically ignored him. Not in a cruel way, just in a way as to not make it awkward and to make it seem like I really don't care, as though we had never went out. We obviously made small talk and he playfully bumped into me once... but I pretended to just not care. It was a coworkers birthday last night so we all went out, and he happened to go. We all had a few drinks, eventually towards the end of the night me and the guy had gotten to dancing... close. They all had to leave to catch the train and I offered to drive him to his car if he wanted to stay and hang out, but he said no. (Yeah, and I felt pretty stupid at that point). All of my coworkers are dudes, there was one girl, and they all harassed me (jokingly) to call them ALL when I got home so that they knew I was safe. They all hugged me and said goodbye... he didn't hug me or tell me to let him know I got home safe. I wound up texting him anyway (I have a big heart, what can I say) and said "Hey, just let me know you get home safe please." he eventually replied "I'm home. Thanks for caring." I replied "Of course." I just don't know what to make of it. I know I have to respect his decision if he doesn't want to get involved because of work. But I'm just a little bummed and confused. Part of me thinks he's just scared but interested, maybe I should give it some time and space. And the other part of me feels so ****ing stupid for even trying.... like shouldn't I be with a guy who jumps at the chance to be with me? Bah. Any input would be lovely... thanks guys xo Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 He had a bad experience dating co-workers & doesn't want to risk it. You have to respect that If you really like him that much look for another job. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Don't date coworkers! It's too messy. Look at the mess it's causing already. Move on. Find someone outside of work who's interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
starrynightz45 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 He's most likely into you, but you pursuing it is NOT going to help things. Don't text him, don't initiate conversation, don't be flirty. Be open if HE comes to you and talks to you, but that's all. The more you show him that you're ok without him, the more he'll want you. The more your pursue, the farther he'll run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I think there's something about you he doesnt like. Since he just flipped the script on that date. He knew that you 2 worked together before his hand was on your leg. So I think he saw something that he didnt like. He doesnt want to pursue anymore. See other people 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I think there's something about you he doesnt like. Since he just flipped the script on that date. He knew that you 2 worked together before his hand was on your leg. So I think he saw something that he didnt like. He doesnt want to pursue anymore. See other people My thoughts, too. Obviously, working together didn't bother him before the date and physical contact. Something tipped him and he backed off. I wouldn't pursue this any further. Sorry, OP:( Link to post Share on other sites
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