Kelly M Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 (edited) My guy friend is so annoying, and I am just getting mad at this point! I have been trying to go out with him, but since August him and this girl (who I kinda know), act like they are in a relationship, and even our friends, and other people confirmed they are in fact dating and he even introduced her as his girlfriend to other people. Meanwhile he's trying to date me, still flirting with me, saying how much he loves me, etc. It also seems to be the same immature cycle with those two. They act all lovey dovey on Facebook but then out of nowhere they will unfriend each other, and then like a month later they add each other back, and it's just the same repeated cycle cause all they do is unfriend, and friend each other. That makes it seem like anyways that is more of a relationship cause if you are just friends, then why the constant unfriending and friending on Facebook? The constant ups and downs? I am just pissed off cause everytime I confront him about, he just says he's not dating her, and he only says it to me. To other girls he admitted he has her as a girlfriend, but to me only he always says they are "just friends" and he even called her a whore. But yet like back in September I remember him talking to me about her saying that they are going to lead to dating and such, so...that tells me even more he's dating her! I am just so angry cause he'll ask me out and then I'll say "You have a girlfriend, I can't" He says "That's bull**** I am not dating Nicole" He constantly stands his ground on that with me. So why is that? Why would he lie to me and me only about it? He tells everyone else, I just don't get it, I don't even seem that interested in him, and honestly, i'm kinda being discouraged even more cause he's lying to me. I still want your input on this, cause it's so bizarre to me. Thank you! Edited March 9, 2014 by Kelly M Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 And you've been trying to be with this guy since Aug?? Honey move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Copelandsanity Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 And you've been trying to be with this guy since Aug?? Honey move on. I was wondering the same, too. Why are you wasting time with this loser? Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 To me on the face of it, if he's telling everyone else he is in a relationship,but for you he says he is single,then he's telling you he's available. I don't get it. You like him, He says he's not currently involved with that girl, He ask you out, You back out because you say of nicole. So he doesn't go out with you, so he keeps hanging out and having fun with Nicole, since you are not going to get with him......and the cycle goes on. Break the cycle. Either go for him or just move on and opt out of the BS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 And you've been trying to be with this guy since Aug?? Honey move on. No, we were friends, but everytime he would ask me out, I would hesitate cause he seemed to be with Nicole. Trust me, I am mad at this point, and I am just annoyed with him, cause it's like if you have a girlfriend buddy then be ****ing loyal and stop flirting and trying to date me, but that's why I wanted some opinions cause I think it's so bizarre. It's merely curiosity why I posted this question cause I never had this happen to me, either the guy was single and known to be single to everyone, or the guy was in a relationship and it was known to everyone that he was in a relationship. My guy friend on the other hand is weird case, haha! He tells everyone except for me. He even told other females that he was dating Nicole, but still denies it to me. I'm just curious about his behavior and why one would do that. I am moved on at this point, cause he lies! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 (edited) To me on the face of it, if he's telling everyone else he is in a relationship,but for you he says he is single,then he's telling you he's available. I don't get it. You like him, He says he's not currently involved with that girl, He ask you out, You back out because you say of nicole. So he doesn't go out with you, so he keeps hanging out and having fun with Nicole, since you are not going to get with him......and the cycle goes on. Break the cycle. Either go for him or just move on and opt out of the BS. Well the reason why I reject him is cause on Facebook they would act like a couple, and then my friends would even say things like "Oh Ian and Nicole are coming over" And my friends would say they are in a relationship so that is why I rejected him. I am just disgusted at this point, and I am probably not going to get with him, but maybe there is a slight chance if he would just be officially single. Like if it's known to our friends and people in general that he is definitely single then i'll maybe give him a chance, but I just don't like that he's lying about this, so of course not I am not going to go out with a guy if he has a girlfriend. That is just wrong! But I am just curious to what people think about this, cause it's a bizarre situation that I never been in before, it's like if the guy is single he's single, if the guy has a girlfriend he has a girlfriend, but they are boyfriend and girlfriend supposedly, to other people but just to me and me only, they're not. To him they are "just friends" yeah right, lol! Thank you though! Sorry if it seemed like I was attacking you, I wasn't. I am just pissed and annoyed, lol! But thank you for the advice. Edited March 9, 2014 by Kelly M Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 despite what I wrote before, I do understand why you are hesitant to go out with him. I suspect he is he going out with nicole and letting her have the impression he is her bf, but likely secretly preferring he had you...I'm guessing. His pseudo relationship with nicole is for convenience - someone to hang out with and have sex with. My guess is he will monkey branch to you, as soon as you start going out with him and have sex. I could be wrong but thats the way I see it. Maybe he is simply lying just to have a one shot at sex with you. Lots of people will dump their gf/bf when they find someone they like better, though its harder to do when they are in your social circle. Be good if you could show up at an event when they are together and start asking some slightly awkward questions in front of her to get to bottom of the BS. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 This is really just a test of even the most basic level of common sense. You know, in every single way that this guy has a girlfriend, he even does the couple-thing on FB, all signs point in one direction to at least him being off and on with this girl and he's such an idiot (or just young) that he's actually trying to tell you it's different because why? this is really rocket science here so listen... He wants to sleep with you/get in your pants...isn't that amazing! So what it is that you're thinking or trying to figure out? do you really need this guy to say it to you personally for you to "get it"? And of course he's attempting to cheat and go behind her back, he's about as smart as a burglar robbing a local store that he always goes to, without a mask, dropping his credit card and drivers license on the way out, while the place is covered in security cameras, pressing the red emergency button underneath the counter himself because it was "pretty and shiny" then getting into his own car and driving away and then trying to tell the cops when they catch him pulling into the driveway of his house that it wasn't him while holding a bag full of money, soda and candy with the store name on the bag that he just robbed and then you're the police officer actually "confused" and "angry" because he's not confessing to the crime to your face in spite of all the evidence... So my question is....WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUU! what are you thinking? I mean if you can't figure this one out then I can only imagine how clueless or gullible you'll be with another guy who isn't so dumb and obvious, are you going to need a confession to read the writing on the wall then? when he's making every excuse in the world and yet you still can't figure out, did nobody tell you that boys want to have sex with girls? My only consolation to being utterly disappointed in you over this is that you've not given in by now, in spite of everything you know...but I only worry more because you're going to get burned by guys if you can't trust your gut and make decisions based off the obvious, because other guys won't be so dumb about it...this guys definitely "special", if you know what I mean in the not so positive way. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 He has an on-off girlfriend. He insists he isn't dating her because he wants you to be available to him. He lies to you to keep you hooked. This isn't too hard to figure out, really. It's a crappy thing for a "friend" to do but it's not some complex mystery. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I would lay off on contact with him for now. He isn't being a good friend to you and he's certainly not being a good boyfriend to his girlfriend. Probably when you pull back, he'll (hopefully) get the hint and stop trying to pursue you and lie to you about being single. He's a jerk. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Like the others said. No great mystery with this guy and not sure why you're so confused. He's blatantly lying to your face. The grass is always greener, but he'd like to keep a foot in both yards. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Well I am confused cause it's just me. I guess I was waiting to see if people would say "Oh he just wants to have with you" or "He secretly wants you as his girlfriend" It is bizarre to me, and I get frustrated, cause I do understand on some level why he would lie to me, but if he was lying to every girl then I would definitely think "He just wants to cheat and get in every girl's pants" But I am the only girl/person that he denies to, so it is kinda bizarre, cause he doesn't really show me he likes me, I mean yeah, he'll say things, but he never complimented me, like my friend who is best friends with him, told me that behind my back he said I am "way too good for Brian" when I went out with this guy Brian. And he said I am "Hot" and I am way too "Hot" for this guy and this guy, so it is kinda weird. Also I told him I am not the "hookup" type, he knows I am the relationship type, so I just don't know. I am naïve, but I mean he does show that he likes me, but its not really overt. It's not really noticeable. But then he'll say things behind my back, that I am a "good girl" and such, so it is kinda weird to me. Link to post Share on other sites
mysunflower Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 He doesn't want every girls. He has Nicole, and he wants to hookup with you, cuz you're gullible, and because other girls wont buy his BS 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 The next time he says he doesn't have a girlfriend, ask him if he minds if you call Nicole over there so he can tell her this. Tell him you saw on FB that he is with her and others have told you he said he is with her and you want to make sure you aren't dating someone who is unavailable. If he looks stuck or doesn't want to do it you will have your answer. He does seem that he is just trying to get some extra sex with you while still keeping Nicole. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 Ha! stillafool, that's good! I might do that, but I am currently not talking to him, cause again he friended his "girlfriend" Nicole again, so I am just confused about him and this stupid situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 OP...put yourself in the guy's shoes, what would you do if a guy did the same to you i.e. someone you don't feel like being with? If you have an answer, then go with it and apply it to yourself 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 He doesn't want every girls. He has Nicole, and he wants to hookup with you, cuz you're gullible, and because other girls wont buy his BS I mean I am pretty naïve, but I call him on his BS all the time. If I was really "gullible" wouldn't I just believe him then? Wouldn't I just buy his BS? Wouldn't I just hookup with him then? That's the point, i'm not buying anything he's doing, or saying. I just wanted to see what other people thought about it. I am not even talking to him right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 OP...put yourself in the guy's shoes, what would you do if a guy did the same to you i.e. someone you don't feel like being with? If you have an answer, then go with it and apply it to yourself That's a interesting answer! But honestly, if I had feelings for someone else, or I just wasn't in love with my partner then I would just break up with the person. Instead of keeping that person around. I wouldn't just tag him along and say to friends and other people that we are in a relationship, and then to the person I care about or want a relationship with say "I'm single" Cause that confuses a lot of things. But I like your answer, it is interesting to do that, but I am completely different. I would just break it off for good, if there are no feelings with the other person. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 (edited) I mean I am pretty naïve, but I call him on his BS all the time. If I was really "gullible" wouldn't I just believe him then? Wouldn't I just buy his BS? Wouldn't I just hookup with him then? That's the point, i'm not buying anything he's doing, or saying. I just wanted to see what other people thought about it. I am not even talking to him right now. I think the gullibility lies with you putting up with this yo-yo since August, and up to this point failing to understand what's going on or at least still asking/pondering on what his issue is. It's one thing to call him out but it is another thing to keep tolerating it and allowing it to affect you. And the reason why he does this juggling act is because he wants to keep women available to him. Edited March 10, 2014 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 No, we were friends, but everytime he would ask me out, I would hesitate cause he seemed to be with Nicole. Trust me, I am mad at this point, and I am just annoyed with him, cause it's like if you have a girlfriend buddy then be ****ing loyal and stop flirting and trying to date me, but that's why I wanted some opinions cause I think it's so bizarre. It's merely curiosity why I posted this question cause I never had this happen to me, either the guy was single and known to be single to everyone, or the guy was in a relationship and it was known to everyone that he was in a relationship. My guy friend on the other hand is weird case, haha! He tells everyone except for me. He even told other females that he was dating Nicole, but still denies it to me. I'm just curious about his behavior and why one would do that. I am moved on at this point, cause he lies! Being friends is fine what im saying is at this point its clear and you should put it all behind you, hes not your match ignore what he does romantically Link to post Share on other sites
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