don't_break_even Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Hi LS members, just a quick question. How would you feel about a guy or girl that you met online and you have been dating for about a week, you both seem to really be hitting it off, and than you notice while logging back on the site you met them on for whatever reason and you notice they are online and their account has been active in the last hour. Is this cause for concern or no big deal? Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Hi LS members' date=' just a quick question. How would you feel about a guy or girl that you met online and you have been dating for about a week, you both seem to really be hitting it off, and than you notice while logging back on the site you met them on for whatever reason and you notice they are online and their account has been active in the last hour. Is this cause for concern or no big deal?[/quote'] You realize that you will show as being online too ('logging in for whatever reason'), right? Aside from that, it is to be expected. Particularly after only a week. You don't have cause to get upset unless you have agreed to be exclusive. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 U have to accept this as part of OLD until u are both exclusive x it does make things tricky tho & it certainly sows seeds of doubt ! x u don't really have any choice than to deal with it until u are exclusive xx Link to post Share on other sites
babycakees Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Hi LS members' date=' just a quick question. How would you feel about a guy or girl that you met online and you have been dating for about a week, you both seem to really be hitting it off, and than you notice while logging back on the site you met them on for whatever reason and you notice they are online and their account has been active in the last hour. Is this cause for concern or no big deal?[/quote'] This happens all the time! I wouldn't worry about it until you are exclusive. How do you know he wasn't logging in just to see if you've been online or updated your profile recently? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 How many times would you have to go out in a week to consider yourself 'dating' someone? Of course you should both still be looking. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 1 week??? I'd give someone until we're exclusive to take it down and that could take months. Link to post Share on other sites
OhThatGirl Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 1 week?!?! Oh no. No no. I'd find it weird if a guy wanted to commit and be exclusive that quickly. He's likely doing the OLD thing of multi-dating until he has been on several dates over the course of months with someone that he can envision a long term relationship with. At THAT point he may talk about being exclusive and wanting to hide his profile but you're nowhere near that. Be careful. It sounds like you're not familiar with how OLD is used. Likely he's meeting other people and may do so for a while until he's sure. Depending on your goals you may want to consider doing this too.. What if he meets someone who is a better match for him? You want to have options not only for your ego after being rejected but also because at that point you may see other guys in a different light. The problem with online dating is rather than being able to meet one person and determine if they are a good match for us we are given many candidates and have to prioritize them. The top couple guys get our attention even though #6 on our list could end up being the best match for us long term. Keep in mind that your top choices may have others prioritized over you. Prepare for that. God all this sounds awful. Makes me wonder why I bother doing OLD at all. Haha 4 Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Ah, now this is *exactly* what happened to me once. We dated a few times and agreed to be exclusive. He and I took our profiles down off the same site. After a week of being exclusive and thinking it was working out, I went on another site to delete my (hidden) profile and saw his profile on there too! I watched it... We chatted the next evening, he was supposed to come over and spend the night the day after. While he was chatting with me (face to face) he checked his profile and did NOT take it down and then logged off. (I had waited because I had supposed he'd take it down once he remembered he had that one.) I called him and confronted... He starts up with "What? You're spying on me?" trying to turn it around on me. That was the *third red flag, so I told him I was bailing. End of story. I used to deal with the "forgotten profile" all the time with the ex-boyfriend of five years. Maybe in his case, there was some excusability (he did have a bad memory) but these places constantly email you trying to get you to sign up again as well as "match updates", so it's not like you forget it is there. They don't let you forget! lol But this guy didn't have that kind of memory problem and he'd checked in twice within a week... Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 There was another guy I went out with once but he was a slowpoke asking me out or talking to me again, so I figured he wasn't into me and bailed on him too.... But... to his credit, he has not logged in to check his profile AT ALL since. He didn't take actions which indicate he was excited about getting to know me, but I'm sort of figuring he's still burned by his ex-wife and so not that excited about dating again at all really... Link to post Share on other sites
WP4046 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Hi LS members' date=' just a quick question. How would you feel about a guy or girl that you met online and you have been dating for about a week, you both seem to really be hitting it off, and than you notice while logging back on the site you met them on for whatever reason and you notice they are online and their account has been active in the last hour. Is this cause for concern or no big deal?[/quote'] I think if you hit off with someone you are not supposed to check and see if they are still online. Just go with the flow and if things get to that point then you can bring up the removing the profile And why would you care if you only been dating for a week? Link to post Share on other sites
WP4046 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 There was another guy I went out with once but he was a slowpoke asking me out or talking to me again, so I figured he wasn't into me and bailed on him too.... But... to his credit, he has not logged in to check his profile AT ALL since. He didn't take actions which indicate he was excited about getting to know me, but I'm sort of figuring he's still burned by his ex-wife and so not that excited about dating again at all really... so it's ok for a women to log on but not a man? I;m done Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Are you really even dating if it's only been a week? Maybe if you saw each other several times that week but if it's been one meeting then of course he's still online. There are people who will date for months and still be online. Just don't be one of those women who think your exclusive after two week of meeting some guy online. Link to post Share on other sites
WP4046 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Are you really even dating if it's only been a week? Maybe if you saw each other several times that week but if it's been one meeting then of course he's still online. There are people who will date for months and still be online. Just don't be one of those women who think your exclusive after two week of meeting some guy online. Unless the OP means they saw each other everyday within a week Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatesthumphrey Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Seriously? One week and you expect him to commit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author don't_break_even Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 No, I don't expect him to commit after a week, we have only went out 3 nights. I was asking to get an idea of peoples thoughts on the subject should this continue to happen after a few months. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Hi LS members' date=' just a quick question. How would you feel about a guy or girl that you met online and you have been dating for about a week, you both seem to really be hitting it off, and than you notice while logging back on the site you met them on for whatever reason and you notice they are online and their account has been active in the last hour. Is this cause for concern or no big deal?[/quote'] Until your exclusive I wouldnt worry about it. You dont know each other well enough yet to put all your eggs in one basket. Be smart and keep your options open yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emissary Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Try not to let it eat at you too much, that online thing can mean a lot of things. I've had several short relationships over the past couple of years but I never closed my account. I get people clicking yes on the meet me thing all the time, and even messages as well. I'm not so rude as to completely ignore those. I will look at their profiles, read their messages, and even reply sometimes even if I'm not interested. I'm just polite. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Even if they don't have a profile up, they could still be dating/seeing other people. Doesn't matter to me. I don't sleep with a man until I know for sure he's not sleeping/dating other women. That takes as long as it takes. You don't know him long enough to just take his word for things.... If you don't feel like taking that risk just yet, then don't go forward until you do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WP4046 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Even if they don't have a profile up, they could still be dating/seeing other people. Doesn't matter to me. I don't sleep with a man until I know for sure he's not sleeping/dating other women. That takes as long as it takes. You don't know him long enough to just take his word for things.... If you don't feel like taking that risk just yet, then don't go forward until you do. Not only that they can be on another dating site LOL Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Not only that they can be on another dating site LOL Exactly. Checking to see if their profile is still up is like checking their cellphone or their sock drawer. If you have to go there, you shouldn't be 'going there'... haha Link to post Share on other sites
WP4046 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Exactly. Checking to see if their profile is still up is like checking their cellphone or their sock drawer. If you have to go there, you shouldn't be 'going there'... haha A girl I went on 5 dates with I never went back online to see if her profile was on there because she was making it clear she was interested in me Now if you are on a paid site then there is a possibility someone will take down their profile since it would be foolish to pay again when you are clicking with someone especially if you are a man Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 As stated, this is expected in OLD. Both parties are still talking to a bunch of other people, and/or even going on 1st dates with others. You should definitely meet more women before you decide to go with this woman. If you two truly think you should be exclusive, just be open about it. Tell her you want to be with her, and that you plan to shut down your account so you can concentrate only on her. If she is on the same page, she will shut down her account as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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