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taking things slow or not taking me serious?


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Old 21st February 2014, 2:46 PM   #1
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taking things slow or not taking me serious?

I've been seeing this guy since the middle of December and things have been going pretty good. When we first started seeing each other, he told me right away that he likes to take things slow when it comes to dating because he hasn't had the best of luck when it comes to relationships. He said he likes to date/talk to a girl for at least 2 months before deciding to make it official. This was great news in the beginning because I had just gotten out of a bad, 4 year relationship about 3 months beforehand and agreed taking things slow would work best.

Well, a little over 2 months in and it seems like he's already gotten "comfortable" with the way things are. He explained in the beginning that he doesn't have the best job and he's trying to save money to buy a house and that we wouldn't be able to go out often. He used to say that as soon as got some money, we'd definitely go out on dates. Well, two months later and we never go out. We always just hang out at his house and watch movies/tv. This isn't a problem for me usually, but this guy still hasn't made anything official with us either so it almost makes me feel like he thinks he doesn't have to try anymore. He's told me that he likes me a lot and that he doesn't want to lose me. He also makes plans for us in the future and says he's planning on sticking around for the long haul. I've met most of his family and friends, but it still bothers me that we never go out on real dates...ever. I'm not sure if I am overreacting or if this is a red flag for down the road.

There hasn't been any talk yet of us becoming official (which doesn't actually bother me much because we basically are in every sense of the word). I know it's not that he's seeing someone else either because there are absolutely no signs of someone else (I'm always able to get ahold of him and I see him quite a bit).

Should I mention any of these concerns to him or am I just over thinking things? Does this guy seem like he's taking me serious?
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Old 21st February 2014, 3:10 PM   #2
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I think he takes you seriously, otherwise you would not have met the family and you wouldn't spend so much time in his home. You are dating...you're just dating in a sort of boring and very repetitive way. You're essentially having the same date over and over again :-)

If you want to go out and do more stuff, why not suggest things? Come up with a list of ideas of not-so-expensive stuff you'd like to do, and see how he reacts.

He might be a person who sort of generally lacks imagination and curiousity about the world, which means on the whole he might be a bit of a dull bf - preferring the comfort of his couch to adventure. Time to find out perhaps. Make your suggestions. See what he does.
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Old 21st February 2014, 3:16 PM   #3
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If he's broke, he shouldn't be dating. Period. I can understand saving money, but never going out? Frugal pos.
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