johnrice Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I had been talking about getting a apartment on my own. My girlfriend knew the lady who was renting out a place. I talked to the lady and she offered it to me but I said I wanted to wait a week before I made my decision. I talked about my girlfriend and I decided not to take it because I thought it would be better to wait to move in with someone because it would be cheaper. Instead of calling the lady right away I took my time. I stalled for over a week. The lady happened to then call my girlfriend and asked what was going on My girlfriend called and was upset saying I was inconsiderate and lied about how I said I had called her she is right about me being inconsiderate. I always put stuff off til the last minute and i don't know why. It's just something i do.I have always done it. I don't do it to be a jerk, I just shove it off to the side. I can tell she is really disappointed in me. Any idea what I could do? I don't want to lose her over this Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I dont think you will lose her over this, Just buy a flower walk up to her say "baby you're right next time I'll try to be more considerate kiss her and thank her for making you a better guy" Sighhhhhh im so romantic! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnrice Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 I dont think you will lose her over this, Just buy a flower walk up to her say "baby you're right next time I'll try to be more considerate kiss her and thank her for making you a better guy" Sighhhhhh im so romantic! this is the first time i haven't really been truthful with her. i don't know why i put it off. i had a stressful week at work and i just sort of put it on the backburner Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Arggh she's not your mother you told her you wanted to wait a week. I had been talking about getting a apartment on my own. My girlfriend knew the lady who was renting out a place. I talked to the lady and she offered it to me but I said I wanted to wait a week before I made my decision. I talked about my girlfriend and I decided not to take it because I thought it would be better to wait to move in with someone because it would be cheaper. Instead of calling the lady right away I took my time. I stalled for over a week. The lady happened to then call my girlfriend and asked what was going on My girlfriend called and was upset saying I was inconsiderate and lied about how I said I had called her she is right about me being inconsiderate. I always put stuff off til the last minute and i don't know why. It's just something i do.I have always done it. I don't do it to be a jerk, I just shove it off to the side. I can tell she is really disappointed in me. Any idea what I could do? I don't want to lose her over this Link to post Share on other sites
morrowrd Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 This is really small potatoes. Using the word "disappointed" is overkill, I'm guessing your inconsideration (different than actually lying) is more under the umbrella of annoyance. Your girlfriend is annoyed at you. Get used to it, in relationships it happens. Say you're sorry, make an effort to not make it a habit to be rude next time, which is what this really boils down to in the end. Honestly, I have done the same thing, tell somebody I'd get back to them and take my time with it because it's either not real high on my priority list, or I'm not real sure what I want to do and need time to figure it out "at my convenience." So don't feel so guilty about it. Get better at dismissing things like this because you really have bigger fish to fry. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Apologize and work on putting things and people off when you say that you will. Some people think it's okay to put people off, but it's simply not. It only took a SIMPLE 15 second phone call. It would have wasted literally no time to do that. So, did you lie to her about having called or not? If so, that is a problem and your gf should be disappointed AND annoyed. But, this shouldn't result in you losing her, so don't worry and apologize and move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I think that signing a lease can be very stressful enough. Hopefully your girlfriend is an understanding person who can let things go. Important decisions like these aren't the sort of thing to rush into, especially when you are already under stress. What's import is that you apologize for lying and do something to make amends and show that you care about her trust in you. There's no reason why you cannot smooth things over and have a few dates to reconnect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnrice Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 Apologize and work on putting things and people off when you say that you will. Some people think it's okay to put people off, but it's simply not. It only took a SIMPLE 15 second phone call. It would have wasted literally no time to do that. So, did you lie to her about having called or not? If so, that is a problem and your gf should be disappointed AND annoyed. But, this shouldn't result in you losing her, so don't worry and apologize and move forward. i know, you are right. i kept saying i'll call today but then i woul just push it off Link to post Share on other sites
markmartinisfast Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 why would your girlfriend be upset? did it affect her somehow? Link to post Share on other sites
TheNewMe2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 put it this way - if she's willing to leave you after this (particularly after you sincerely apologize and buy her flowers), then she's got other issues. However - girlfriends and boyfriends will fight. Life will not be perfect. Trying to understand the other one, apologize, and not making the same mistakes over and over is the key to a healthy long-term relationship. I don't really suspect you'd lose her over this. Link to post Share on other sites
ingalls Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 If she leaves you for this then she doesn't care about you, especially if it's a one time thing. now if you ahve done this multiple times, that's different! Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 She knew this woman and so when you lied and didn't follow through...you not only wasted the ladies time and probably a weekend rent from someone else, but you made her look bad for having a flaky bf. She is right, you are wrong. Don't be that guy who lies over nothing and shreds trust by acting responsible but not being responsible. Do better. I have terminated relationships over less because I don't need a flake or a liar in my life. Good luck, Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) This is really small potatoes. Using the word "disappointed" is overkill, I'm guessing your inconsideration (different than actually lying) is more under the umbrella of annoyance. Your girlfriend is annoyed at you. Get used to it, in relationships it happens. Say you're sorry, make an effort to not make it a habit to be rude next time, which is what this really boils down to in the end. Honestly, I have done the same thing, tell somebody I'd get back to them and take my time with it because it's either not real high on my priority list, or I'm not real sure what I want to do and need time to figure it out "at my convenience." So don't feel so guilty about it. Get better at dismissing things like this because you really have bigger fish to fry. Actually i disagree on the small potatoes stuff. I agree with his gf. and have dealt with the same type of behavior many times. That said, I have bumped into this behavior in guys often enough to know that it is a common thing. But if you want her to stick around, make sure you tell her the truth. The reason is that you don't want to chip away at the trust you have in one another. I think what her reasoning would be is: if he will lie on this small stuff, where he has nothing to lose by just telling me the truth, what big stuff is he going to lie on, where he does have something lose. Also if you act inconsiderately to people she knows then it's embarrassing to her. Her "great" bf doesn't appear so great. That part is smaller potatoes than the lying part. Apologize and don't do it again. You have a right, btw, to prioritize and handle your business however you want to. Just get comfortable telling her what you're doing and don't lie to her in process. If she's being pushy to the extent that you feel like you have to lie, well you might want to examine that--but it doesn't sound like that's what she was doing. Listen someone who calls you out on your stuff for sake of having you be the best person you can be is super attractive gf material--i've heard a million guys say it. Good luck! Edited February 20, 2014 by Versacehottie 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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