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Fight with FWB?! WTF


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Old 18th February 2014, 7:45 PM   #1
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Fight with FWB?! WTF

So, yesterday, I had a fight with my fwb. I was supposed to come

over yesterday night, but had an exam late that day, and studied

basically all night and the rest of the day for that, so no sleep. I

was exhausted...

so I texted her, telling I couldn't make it but did not specifically say

why...but asked her about the weekend, because I knew she

has an exam coming up on Thursday and would have to study for

that...so, she replied, she would probably leave town after the

exam for the weekend...then I suggested today, but she denied,

because of studying and said today(Monday) would be perfect...i

was already half asleep during texting with her and said, then

again, I can't and if it would somehow fit her timetable the next

days anyway, she should give me a call...

then she was somehow pissed?!, quoted me and said: we don't

have to do that...i asked her what's that suppose to mean and she said, well what you just said, sounds like: I don't give a crap...is that the case?

i replied, of course not, but if it's not working, what else I am suppose to say...

and then she said, my attitude towards her wouldn't show much appreciation and she would have to reconsider if she wants to continue that, because she wouldn't be my personal hooker...

i'm still not sure, what's that's about...bad thing also, I fell asleep...have seen the text today...but don't know what to answer her...or if I should answer at all...i kinda confused, how she got so quick, so upset...

to you guys have any advice on that?!

sry for writing,such a long text^^
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Old 18th February 2014, 7:48 PM   #2
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Well she basically is a personal hooker with the benefit of friendship minus the societal shame of being looked upon as a street walker.

She agreed to this arrangement, right? Her bad for getting her panties in a bunch. Maybe she doesn't understand the terms of FWB.
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Old 18th February 2014, 7:49 PM   #3
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@OP.....shared blame here from I can see, I mean who studies the night before an exam? It should have been done earlier

Hey....when one door closes, another one opens
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Old 18th February 2014, 7:58 PM   #4
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well...why didnt you just tell her, that your exhausted?^^ i dont get that actually...i'd be offended as well, i have to admit with cancelling a set up meeting with no good reason...

although her outburst, could also rely to her stress due studying and you coming over for sex, would have maybe released her from some stress...and isnt that what fwb/**** buddies are for?

i am myself in a fwb relationship and if thats what she'd expected, then i can somehow understand her...

just tell her what the issue was...and i guess it's fine
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Old 18th February 2014, 8:07 PM   #5
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@captsaveaho, i like her, we are in this together for quite a while and i works...so no, i wont get a ''new one''...if i really wouldnt give a crap about her, i prolly wouldnt be posting here i guess...but thanks for your input

@mammasita, i do not consider her as a hooker...and what terms to you acutally refer to? our ''terms'' basically are, you come, when you're called...both ways...

@bnanaima...i dont know...didnt think much i guess...my head was empty^^ i know what your saying...this is an important exam she has coming up...i guess i just have to explain myself...
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Old 18th February 2014, 8:41 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by clarky21 View Post
@captsaveaho, i like her, we are in this together for quite a while and i works...so no, i wont get a ''new one''...if i really wouldnt give a crap about her, i prolly wouldnt be posting here i guess...but thanks for your input
I have a sneaky suspicion that there might be feelings at the root of all this...on her end and yours. She may be annoyed because she's ready to see some indication that she's a priority to you, beyond what the typical FWB arrangement would warrant. And as you pointed out yourself, you're concerned enough about it that you're here looking for advice...

I could be wrong but just thought I'd throw that out there!
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Old 18th February 2014, 9:02 PM   #7
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I have a sneaky suspicion that there might be feelings at the root of all this...on her end and yours. She may be annoyed because she's ready to see some indication that she's a priority to you, beyond what the typical FWB arrangement would warrant. And as you pointed out yourself, you're concerned enough about it that you're here looking for advice...

I could be wrong but just thought I'd throw that out there!

We know each other for quite some time...of course we like each other, but when we started this, we agreed, that no one of us is ready for a serious relationship...and it worked so far...

and about the priority, sex is always my priority i would have gone there, if i hadnt been kinda dead..i'd go there today, i'd go there tomorrow...that has never been in question...

i also believe, that this crap like : fwb, you cant have any feelings at all, is absolute bs...if you know a person and spend time with her, there has to be sth...you can do that with a total stranger, you no nothing about etc...but not with someone you know...thats why it's called FRIENDS with benefits...but correct me, if i'm on a wrong way here
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Old 18th February 2014, 9:13 PM   #8
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We know each other for quite some time...of course we like each other, but when we started this, we agreed, that no one of us is ready for a serious relationship...and it worked so far...

and about the priority, sex is always my priority i would have gone there, if i hadnt been kinda dead..i'd go there today, i'd go there tomorrow...that has never been in question...

i also believe, that this crap like : fwb, you cant have any feelings at all, is absolute bs...if you know a person and spend time with her, there has to be sth...you can do that with a total stranger, you no nothing about etc...but not with someone you know...thats why it's called FRIENDS with benefits...but correct me, if i'm on a wrong way here
Feelings screw up FWBs. All of mine ended because the woman always grew feelings and wanted more ... Well all but one and in that one I got serious.

Remember when the FWB worked? If you couldn't hook up then it would be no big deal. Now it is a big deal. What changed? If you haven't then I am guessing it is her.
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Old 18th February 2014, 9:30 PM   #9
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Feelings screw up FWBs. All of mine ended because the woman always grew feelings and wanted more ... Well all but one and in that one I got serious.

Remember when the FWB worked? If you couldn't hook up then it would be no big deal. Now it is a big deal. What changed? If you haven't then I am guessing it is her.

Brad, the only time i couldnt hook up was really, when i was sick...and there was no big deal...really, what guy would deny sex if there wasnt a reallllly good reason, am i right?

for her, she denied it actually more often for not soooo good reasons, like partying...
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Old 18th February 2014, 9:48 PM   #10
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Brad, the only time i couldnt hook up was really, when i was sick...and there was no big deal...really, what guy would deny sex if there wasnt a reallllly good reason, am i right?

for her, she denied it actually more often for not soooo good reasons, like partying...
Exactly. You haven't changed because you still see it as breaking off a piece.

Start looking for a replacement fwb unless you want to girlfriend this one.
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Old 18th February 2014, 10:10 PM   #11
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You are both exhausted and stressed out by exams. It sounds like you both have a good thing going, so try to smooth things over with her. Be sure to use the phrase "we were both exhausted and stressed out from exams" in the follow-up conversation. A good fwb arrangement is a beautiful thing. While it is generally low stress, it does take some maintenance. This can be easily salvaged with some diplomacy. Just don't go overboard into supplicating.

Also, ignore the peanut gallery trying to paint her as 'hooker-ish'. FWB is the exact opposite of that. Some women just can't stand the idea that men can have sex without paying for it (e.g. 5+ 'real' dates; dinner, drinks, movies, etc). Ironically, they try to shame fwb girls as hookers when they are the ones that expect to get paid for merely offering the prospect of sex (plus continuing payments as a gf).
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