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Is it only fwb?


kittykat22

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So i recently started seeing this guy about a month ago and we have been on roughly seven dates together (dinner, drinks, Etc). I believe things are going great, but the in between times i barely hear from him. The only times i do is to schedule plans or if i text. Im worried with his lack of communication that this means its only a friends with benefits situations.

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Are you sleeping with him?

Is he paying for your dates?

Does he ever contact you to plan to get together?

 

Have you asked him?

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Are you sleeping with him?

Is he paying for your dates?

Does he ever contact you to plan to get together?

 

Have you asked him?

 

 

He pays for every single date and never has suggested that i pay either. We are sleeping together and i always spend the night. The only part that throws me off is that we barely text. He never really makes an effort to call or text me. Thats what i find confusing..

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He pays for every single date and never has suggested that i pay either. We are sleeping together and i always spend the night. The only part that throws me off is that we barely text. He never really makes an effort to call or text me. Thats what i find confusing..

 

The only time we do text is to make future plans...

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acrosstheuniverse

Sounds like a tradeoff, to be honest. He pays money and gets sex, you give sex and get a dinner (I'm not suggesting you don't enjoy the sex too, but from the sound of your post you would rather it be more than that?)

 

If he isn't getting in touch with you between dates unless it's to arrange another, and you're sleeping with him after each date, I think it's just a FWB situation. If he genuinely liked you and was looking for something more significant I think you'd realise after a month and hanging out seven times by his actions/words.

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Try scheduling a daytime date

have fun together

but then GO HOME instead of sleeping with him

 

You'll learn quick enough by his actions

if its just FWB

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So i recently started seeing this guy about a month ago and we have been on roughly seven dates together (dinner, drinks, Etc). I believe things are going great, but the in between times i barely hear from him. The only times i do is to schedule plans or if i text. Im worried with his lack of communication that this means its only a friends with benefits situations.

 

 

Its weird cause when we are together it doesn't feel like friends with benefits, but when we aren't it does and makes me rethink things. Maybe because we haven't really discussed what we are both looking for..

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Ruby Slippers

I think that when a man really likes a woman and wants a relationship with her, he keeps in touch with a daily phone call and at least a daily text or two.

 

My impression from what you've written here is that he's treating you like FWB. Sorry :(

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Instead of assuming things, it's better you have a talk with him.

You can tell him that you really like him and would like to date exclusively and stay in touch over calls and texts, everyday...

 

See what he says...

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Its weird cause when we are together it doesn't feel like friends with benefits, but when we aren't it does and makes me rethink things. Maybe because we haven't really discussed what we are both looking for..

 

I know how you feel.

Maybe he's just not a texter.

 

I had the same thoughts when I first started seeing my ex. I did consider it a FWB like you have because we didn't text a whole lot. I wasn't really fussed either way and one day he texted me and said we need to "have the talk" and he basically said I really like you and want you to be my girlfriend but I have no idea if you feel the same way.

 

Just ask him. Better knowing than not knowing.

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Try scheduling a daytime date

have fun together

but then GO HOME instead of sleeping with him

 

You'll learn quick enough by his actions

if its just FWB

 

This. This is the thing to do. If he's not into you, he'll disappear right quick if you don't sleep with him.

 

I'm not sure why you would think FWB would "Feel" different when you're together... like it would feel less authentic than real dating as you guys are doing date-like stuff. flirting, and fooling around?

 

FWB feels like FWB "only when you're apart" because that's the nature of FWB. He's there for the fun stuff, not there when there is crisis, distance, or anything real.

 

To find out what it really is, I would recommend 1) not sleeping with him next date (to see how he reacts), and also 2) asking him what you guys are. Because part of what makes a relationship "more than FWB" is the ability to have honest, open discussions.

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wait...7 dates in 1 month? That's a lot of meets. That's almost twice a week, and you think it's not mutually romantic if he doesn't contact you in between? Some guys just like alone time. Some guys are busy. Some guys are dating other people in between. I assume you are not exclusive yet..... That being the case, you are giving him access to the goods (sex) without requiring him to reciprocate the effort (attention). I always think it's bad idea to have sex when there is no exclusivity. This is what happens. :( Sorry. He may be really into you, but he doesn't think you deserve his efforts.

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