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21 year old nerd never even kissed


atdevel

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I am a 21 year old nerd. But not even your average nerd. If somebody was to set the Guinness Book of World Records for nerdiness, that would be me.The few girls that consider themselves nerds only date muscular nerds. I like logical things like math, technology, and computer science. I love to learn for the sake of it, but through high school and college, it was more about studying for tests and doing homework. Why? Because it’s all about making money, and not about finding your passion in life.

 

My parents forced me to go to college because they were worried that I would starve to death otherwise. Most students in college did nothing but drink. I eventually caved in and drank a lot, but usually by myself, but decided to give up.

 

One other thing I like to do is travel. I visited Paris a few years ago and felt like I fit in there more. I am fed up with America, and want to find a girl here that is also fed up with America.

 

In high school, nobody was my type. In college, I thought the few girls in my engineering classes would be interested in somebody like me, but they also said I was too nerdy. I just want to find one girl that likes me for who I am.

 

http://www.demandstudiossucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/super-computer-nerd.jpeg That's me lol (metaphorically)

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Had a couple of mates in your situation. They did have to wait a fair while, but when they found someone, they REALLY found someone.

 

 

Just make yourself the best version of yourself you can be. (I swear I stole that from a film - maybe High Fidelity)

 

 

It'll happen when it happens, but always take strides to make yourself attractive. That doesn't mean physically...just work on being fulfilled in yourself and try to put yourself out there, even if it means challenging yourself.

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Had a couple of mates in your situation. They did have to wait a fair while, but when they found someone, they REALLY found someone.

 

 

Just make yourself the best version of yourself you can be. (I swear I stole that from a film - maybe High Fidelity)

 

 

It'll happen when it happens, but always take strides to make yourself attractive. That doesn't mean physically...just work on being fulfilled in yourself and try to put yourself out there, even if it means challenging yourself.

 

This makes me really impatient though because I guess what I really want is a casual sex relationship at this point. I'm really interested in sex and want to try it, but I have to be really good looking or find someone with a similar interest, both of which isn't happening to me.

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Have you tried internet dating?

 

 

How's your social life looking?

 

I haven't tried internet dating because I heard you have to be really good-looking if you are a guy to get any responses, and I don't like putting my personal information online.

 

I don't fit in even with most nerds, regardless of gender. I only have one male friend. But I really thought that the girls in my engineering classes would be interested in me, but that wasn't meant to happen I guess. I wondered if I went to somewhere like MIT then there would be people my type, but they're more preppy nerds than anything else.

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You don't have to be great looking, you just have to portray yourself in the best light that you can whilst still being honest.

 

 

Practically everything is easier if you are attractive, but that doesn't mean the rest of us give up!

 

 

You barely have to put up any personal information at all...and anyone can find that shizz with half a brain anyway, so I wouldn't worry.

 

 

After a few dates, you'll start to get into the swing of it, will invest less and feel more comfortable.

 

 

Did you make any approaches of socialise with the engineering girls?

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You don't have to be great looking, you just have to portray yourself in the best light that you can whilst still being honest.

 

 

Practically everything is easier if you are attractive, but that doesn't mean the rest of us give up!

 

 

You barely have to put up any personal information at all...and anyone can find that shizz with half a brain anyway, so I wouldn't worry.

 

 

After a few dates, you'll start to get into the swing of it, will invest less and feel more comfortable.

 

 

Did you make any approaches of socialise with the engineering girls?

 

Yes I did. But like I said, they weren't interested in me. It made me feel really bad.

 

If I created an online profile, all I would do is talk about how I am nerdy anyway, and that wouldn't impress anyone. I also don't want to put my pic up there.

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Well, one way or another you're going to have to put yourself out there.

 

 

Either pic online or going out to meet people whether that be at hobby groups or bars etc. You tried some nerdy hobby groups? That sounds condescending, but I mean it.

 

 

I used to go to LARP, still do battle re-enactment, local folk music acoustic nights...

 

 

Dude, just don't go round saying you're nerdy like it's a bad thing. You're profile is a sales document...

 

 

"I'm a really nerdy guy who doesn't do so well with women. I like engineering and logical stuff"

 

 

Doesn't read nearly as well as...

 

 

" >insert engineering in joke< - if you can appreciate the punch line, we might get on! High-flying academic seeks his match. Have you got what it takes?"

 

 

Okay, so the latter is kind of crap. But it is all about how you present yourself for better or for worse.

 

 

You can't go putting yourself down.

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honestly stop feeling so sorry for yourself. Women want a man with confidence, not a self pity guy who calls himself a nerd. Be proud of your life and things you have accomplished. Ive had self esteem issues too and have learned this the hard way..

 

 

The way people see you, is always a reflection on how you see yourself.

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What Zoso said.

 

 

Also still struggling with self-esteem. Overweight, but still getting out there. Having fun, some hits and some misses.

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Women want a man with confidence, not a self pity guy who calls himself a nerd.

 

Maybe you're right, but that's all I've known. I retreated into logical fields such as math and technology because America for me is too illogical. But the people I met through these fields are too illogical for me.

 

I'm scared that if I become too confident, I will become one of those steroid-using, heavy-drinking fratboys that are fake.

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No offence intended, but are you serious?

 

 

That does not appear to be a very logical conclusion.

 

 

Deciding you are not a nerd or embracing the term in a positive way is not going to make you take steroids or even set you upon the path.

 

 

So Professor Richard Dawkins is a steroid-honed, frat-boy because he is confident in his assertions?

 

 

Work it through in your own mind, mate. It isn't two ends of the spectrum...you can find middle ground.

 

 

You ever been somewhere like Comic-con? Never seen so many confident geeks.

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BlametheIrish
Maybe you're right, but that's all I've known. I retreated into logical fields such as math and technology because America for me is too illogical. But the people I met through these fields are too illogical for me.

_________

Saying an entire country is illogical, is illogical in of itself.

_________

I'm scared that if I become too confident, I will become one of those steroid-using, heavy-drinking fratboys that are fake.

_______

Really? Thats just self defeating talk right there. You think Bill Gates lacks confidence?

Confidence is attractive in any man, nerds, jocks and any stereotype you wish to list.

 

 

If you want a relationship ot just casual sex you need to work on your self esteem and confidence pronto.

 

Want to think about it in a more "logical" way. You can't solve a mathematical equation by talking about how hard it is. You focus yourself and work on it until you've got the correct answer.

 

Same with finding a SO, whining about it gets you nowhere, putting yourself out there will give you more real life dating experience, you can apply.when you find a wkman you think is worthy of more than NSA fun.

 

If a woman isn't interested don't let it take a hit to your self esteem. There is no sjortage of women in this world.

 

In conclusion you jave two options here:

 

1. Do nothing and hope to whatever version of your gid is that some random woman scoops you up

Or

2. Be proactive, put yourself out there. Wotk on your confidence and self esteem. Find meetup groups yhat interest you.

 

Doing nothing usually gets you nothing.

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_______

Really? Thats just self defeating talk right there. You think Bill Gates lacks confidence?

Confidence is attractive in any man, nerds, jocks and any stereotype you wish to list.

 

 

If you want a relationship ot just casual sex you need to work on your self esteem and confidence pronto.

 

Want to think about it in a more "logical" way. You can't solve a mathematical equation by talking about how hard it is. You focus yourself and work on it until you've got the correct answer.

 

Same with finding a SO, whining about it gets you nowhere, putting yourself out there will give you more real life dating experience, you can apply.when you find a wkman you think is worthy of more than NSA fun.

 

If a woman isn't interested don't let it take a hit to your self esteem. There is no sjortage of women in this world.

 

In conclusion you jave two options here:

 

1. Do nothing and hope to whatever version of your gid is that some random woman scoops you up

Or

2. Be proactive, put yourself out there. Wotk on your confidence and self esteem. Find meetup groups yhat interest you.

 

Doing nothing usually gets you nothing.

 

Like I said, I picked electrical engineering because I wasn't confident around people. I just wanted to focus on math.

 

But maybe you're right. As the classes grew harder and more complex, I was afraid to tackle the new challenges, so even though I graduated as an engineer, I'm not sure if that's what I want to do.

 

Problem is, I don't know where to begin my search. I would prefer not online, and I'm worried that as like you said, I wouldn't be able to "focus and work on it". I would end up just talking about it. But you saw my problem there.

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Any hobbies?

 

Another thing, in addition to not being confident I'm also lazy :p I would spend all my waking hours solving plug-and-chug math problems in my head since it was so much fun, but now that these problems are considered to be too simple in my field, I'm not motivated to do them anymore.

 

So, I don't have any real hobbies I guess. I went out drinking for a year in college, but I don't like it because it isn't healthy. I always want to exercise but I'm too lazy to.

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BlametheIrish
Another thing, in addition to not being confident I'm also lazy :p I would spend all my waking hours solving plug-and-chug math problems in my head since it was so much fun, but now that these problems are considered to be too simple in my field, I'm not motivated to do them anymore.

 

So, I don't have any real hobbies I guess. I went out drinking for a year in college, but I don't like it because it isn't healthy. I always want to exercise but I'm too lazy to.

 

Drinking isn't a hobby, you really need to.expand your horizons. I would date a nerd, I would date the king of nerds lol. But not if he had a serious lack of confidence, and next to no lige interests.

 

What appeals to you as fat as hobbies are concerned? Maybe you always wanted to learn hoe to cook or you misd those nature hikes from childhood. Maybe you used to play the sax in school, maybe you used to be great in shop class. Hobbies are a great way to build confidence. I have a nice little workshop in my garage where I build a product I sell on Craigslist. I don't do it for the money, just the sense of satisfaction I.get by building a grreat product and working with my hands. I coukd go yo workshops and meetup groups for people who share my interest, I could surely male some.new friends there. And when I find the time, I will most certainly do.that. Find something you think you would enjoy doing, I guarantee it will improve your self confidence, uour sense of satisfaction and eventually help yiu make a good friend or even.a significant other.

 

One of my family members is really gpod at math. He worked on his hand eye coordination and combined it with his grsat math skills to become an amazing pool player, much to my dismay as math was never a stdong subject for me and his math skills beat my natural talent eventually and still does to this day :(

 

Life is wjat you make of it. So make a plan, get off your butt and do something :)

Not just to meet women but for your own benefit.

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deathandtaxes

You sound very, very boring. You're only nerdy so you can make money? What other passions do you have? How do you nourish other parts of your life? Physically? Spiritually? What do you have to offer a member of the opposite sex? Casual sex isn't all that. Go round out your life.

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fortyninethousand322

21 isn't that old. You have about 3-4 years before it gets creepy and weird to most people. Join a sports group like for jogging or tennis or something legit but not too serious you know? You should be fine if you get on top of this now. Do not become me...

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My advice would be to forget about sex completely. Rome wasn't built in a day.

 

Instead worry about little things...

 

for example:

 

-Look your best (haircut, flattering clothes, cologne). That's something you can change overnight.

 

-Teach yourself how to dance at a semi-competent level. Just watch YouTube videos and do it in front of the mirror at night and you'll get better in a week or so.

 

-Stop worrying about meeting girlfriends and start worrying out making friends. The best way to meet girls is through friends, and the best way to go out with girls is to invite them with your friends and make it social rather than personal. Friends come before girlfriends imo.

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Well I started writing this page inspirational essay I hoped would help get you back up and out there but as I re-read through your posts, it sounded like you were one of those type of guys who wallow in self pity and regardless, will do nothing about it.

 

So I thought meh, why should I waste my time. It is up to you if you want to get out there and get dates. Woman don't starve themselves, drench on make up and exercise til death for the sake of it. They do it to look good and to appear attractive. If they can do that, why can't you?

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