WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 When you are unemployed you get an opportunity to change that situation everyday by seeking employment and coming up with strategies. But when you are single and looking for love, you don't get a chance to address your single status because you have to go to a job for 8 hours and then once you get home you get dinner ready and may have only 2 or 3 hours before its time to go to sleep so u can go back to work. And that is why I am depressed becausei am a single guy and have to work at a job with all these attractive women which is a reminder of not having anyone on top of not being able to do anything about it. So I really feel like crying because I hate not having anyone and its so hard to see all these women who are my type. So that's why its harder to find a companion than a job. If I was to hit the lottery and had 2 months straight to address my single status I want to believe I would not be single after 60 days. So I have no idea what to do. I guess take full advantage of the weekends but then if I have no accomplishments by sunday night I will start feeling depressed again by Monday morning. Anyone agree with this? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 What is stopping you from going out right after work before you go home? When it's cold or raining go to the store and window shop. Talk to women you find interesting. When it's warm walk around parks or go on a hike. A big ol' world out there. I work and never had any issue meeting women. Just have to go out and do it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 What is stopping you from going out right after work before you go home? When it's cold or raining go to the store and window shop. Talk to women you find interesting. When it's warm walk around parks or go on a hike. A big ol' world out there. I work and never had any issue meeting women. Just have to go out and do it. Well that's the problem right there, I'm shy and has never been able to approach women in public. So I have to depend on messages I get online at POF or OKC which can be "Zero" on some days. That's why I miss telephone dating because women had to browse ads too. They couldn't just sit back and wait for messages to come to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Well that's the problem right there, I'm shy and has never been able to approach women in public. So I have to depend on messages I get online at POF or OKC which can be "Zero" on some days. That's why I miss telephone dating because women had to browse ads too. They couldn't just sit back and wait for messages to come to them. If you are shy, it will give you problems in online dating too since you still need to be able to speak to strangers in person. That's the real issue, not your working 9-5. In my experience, people who struggle to meet the opposite sex usually do so because they are too shy and socially awkward to take advantage of the opportunities. It is what you need to work on, find ways around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Well I'd suggest working on your shyness as that protrudes into a multitude of areas in your life... including when you've met someone from online dating. What are you scared of is going to happen when you approach a woman? No need to approach with a "I've got to date her" mindset, but a "she looks interesting, let's see if I like her personality as well". Link to post Share on other sites
Author WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 If you are shy, it will give you problems in online dating too since you still need to be able to speak to strangers in person. That's the real issue, not your working 9-5. In my experience, people who struggle to meet the opposite sex usually do so because they are too shy and socially awkward to take advantage of the opportunities. It is what you need to work on, find ways around. Here is the problem. This woman was asked on the radio this morning "what dcan a guy say to you to get your attention? She couldn't answer the question. So if she can't answer the question what the hell am I supposed to say? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Well I'd suggest working on your shyness as that protrudes into a multitude of areas in your life... including when you've met someone from online dating. What are you scared of is going to happen when you approach a woman? No need to approach with a "I've got to date her" mindset, but a "she looks interesting, let's see if I like her personality as well". Its different when I meet someone online because when I approach them in public I have a reason to. I just can approach a strange woman in public because she looks good. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Here is the problem. This woman was asked on the radio this morning "what dcan a guy say to you to get your attention? She couldn't answer the question. So if she can't answer the question what the hell am I supposed to say? Huh? Each person is different. You get each person's attention in a different way. Some you will some you won't. It seems to me that you generally need to mingle with people more because I'm not sure you understand that we are all individuals. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Its different when I meet someone online because when I approach them in public I have a reason to. I just can approach a strange woman in public because she looks good. Sure you can. Just need to start a conversation based on something in the area. If you're in a store you can ask a woman's opinion on something. If you're outside you can start a conversation about the scenery. It's no different than kids in kindergarten talking because they're in the same proximity. "Do you like this class?", "Do you like the teacher?", "Do you like these shape blocks?", "Do you like this shirt on me?".... only different in your mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Sure you can. Just need to start a conversation based on something in the area. If you're in a store you can ask a woman's opinion on something. If you're outside you can start a conversation about the scenery. It's no different than kids in kindergarten talking because they're in the same proximity. "Do you like this class?", "Do you like the teacher?", "Do you like these shape blocks?", "Do you like this shirt on me?".... only different in your mind. I have a issue with some of the women I say good morning to at the job and don't get a good morning back. So u know I don't want to say anyrhing to a woman in public. Plus I know how sensitive I am so I would not want to be ignored in public. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I have a issue with some of the women I say good morning to at the job and don't get a good morning back. So u know I don't want to say anyrhing to a woman in public. Plus I know how sensitive I am so I would not want to be ignored in public. Sensitive to what? Someone who doesn't like you isn't someone you want to associate with anyways. Consider it a blessing that they make it known early rather than wasting your time. Add working on your self esteem to working on the shyness. No one should have an effect on your self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I don't blame the OP for not wanting to cold approach. Just look at some of these threads here about women on cold approaches, or how to reject a man who cold approaches. They make it sound like the worst thing a man can do short of rape. OP try this instead. Make a group of friends that you are comfortable with and can be yourself with which includes single men and women. Choose people from work, from hobbies you enjoy etc. They will either be single themselves or know someone who is. They can fix you up. Oh and rember these three rules that will keep you safe when asking a woman out. LiveLeak.com - Excellent Training film on sexual harassment,(Staring NFL QB Tom Brady) Be Handsome (to that woman on that day) Be Attractive (to that woman on that day) Don't be un attractive. (To that woman on that day at that moment). Those are the only rules to asking a woman out. Everything else I find is some level of BS or the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 I just came from the break room and nothing but women I would love to play with or date. Lol. This job is killing me because its doing two things 1. Making me think about sex 2. Making me think about being in a relationship And that's been everyday since I started which was 4 weeks ago. Never worked at a job with so many attractive women in my life Off the top of my head its like 16 women that work here who I would date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 And I feel this way because I have not had a sexual encounter. Since 2011 and have not dated since 2011 So this is the wrong environment to be working in Link to post Share on other sites
Author WP4046 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 I don't blame the OP for not wanting to cold approach. Just look at some of these threads here about women on cold approaches, or how to reject a man who cold approaches. They make it sound like the worst thing a man can do short of rape. OP try this instead. Make a group of friends that you are comfortable with and can be yourself with which includes single men and women. Choose people from work, from hobbies you enjoy etc. They will either be single themselves or know someone who is. They can fix you up. Oh and rember these three rules that will keep you safe when asking a woman out. LiveLeak.com - Excellent Training film on sexual harassment,(Staring NFL QB Tom Brady) Be Handsome (to that woman on that day) Be Attractive (to that woman on that day) Don't be un attractive. (To that woman on that day at that moment). Those are the only rules to asking a woman out. Everything else I find is some level of BS or the other. I think its because cold approaches usually give off the vibe " I wanna have sex with you so bad" Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I just came from the break room and nothing but women I would love to play with or date. Lol. This job is killing me because its doing two things 1. Making me think about sex 2. Making me think about being in a relationship And that's been everyday since I started which was 4 weeks ago. Never worked at a job with so many attractive women in my life Off the top of my head its like 16 women that work here who I would date. Try to set up a work outing if possible. If you're ugly though, remember that girls do not want you to bother them. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I think its because cold approaches usually give off the vibe " I wanna have sex with you so bad" It's not about vibes. Forget about vibes. If a woman feels a creepy vibe about you that just means she isn't into you. If a woman feels a "sexy confident vibe" that means she's into you. What that video says is not really even a joke. It's something people laugh at because it's sad but true. Now most women won't accuse you of harassment or something if you proposition them and they aren't into it. What they will do if you proposition them is gossip about it with the other office ladies. Be Handsome: Are you generally physically fit and at least average height, lean? If yes you are likely handsome. Be attractive: are you attractive to women in general. Do you notice women looking at you from time to time? If you don't know use a website that rates your pics either with others votes or by a calculation. Those two vary a great deal from woman to woman. If she' thinks your both there is only one more thing.. Don't be un attractive: People pretty much agree on what's not attractive. If you are out of shape, dress poorly, smell bad, and have an ugly face you are out of luck. Even in a specific woman finds you attractive. Women love nothing more than to make other women jealous with their man. As one guru puts it "kitty Kats Kompete". Are you a man women will want to show off to their other friends? If you can affirm that you are at least somewhat handsome, attractive, and especially not unattractive... then try to ask a woman in the office out. A work outing is the best way to go. It can be as simple as stepping out for coffee or lunch. If they say yes then there is some interest there beyond just working. If they agree to lunch they are at least friends. Their body language will tell you if they are hot for you at all. Your job is the answer. Just don't try it if you think there is any chance of rejection. Plus consult HR about your companies policy on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts