blackpajamas Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Looking for some opinions here. When is the ideal time to have this talk? I'm currently dating a girl, we have a history, had a summer fling. Now we are dating, been dating since the week before Christmas. We have been intimate. Should I have it soon, or wait? Just wondering, because I'm not interested in seeing other people and I think I'd be wasting my time if she was. Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) If you're not interested in seeing other people & are hoping she's not either, you should probably say something to her. It doesn't have to be a heavy conversation, as I see it you can do it one of two ways: 1) "Hey I was just wondering if you're seeing anyone else besides me?" Then you somehow segue into some variation of #2 below. or 2) "Hey I just want you to know, I'm happy with how things are going for us right now & I'm not interested in dating anyone else." If you started off with this approach instead of #1, then how she responds will direct the conversation from there. Otherwise you can always wait but if you think you'd be wasting your time if she's seeing other people, you might as well find out. Again, since you guys have really only been dating for a few weeks, I wouldn't make a huge issue of it, you're just trying to get a little info. & let her know you're not interested in dating others. Just make sure not to get upset if she is dating other people, because you guys have only been dating for a few weeks. Edited January 9, 2014 by MixedUpChick 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 #2 of what MixedUpChick mentioned is a good choice. Also ask what she is thinking about the relationship to see if you guys are on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackpajamas Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 thanks for the advice. sounds like a plan. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 For me there is no intimacy before that talk. Some people assume that sex = exclusivity. They often get hurt. Since you are already intimate, I'd make the talk playful. In the afterglow, snuggle her close & confirm this makes her your GF. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 OP - the ideal time is up to you. It's when you want to have an exclusive relationship. There is not right time. Just the right time for you. If you think it's right, bring it up. Link to post Share on other sites
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