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Where is a good place to meet men over 40?


Lady2163

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It would be better if they were over 45.

 

I'm not a drinker or much of a sports fan. Yes, I love the Red Sox, but I'm a long way from Boston.

 

I'm in a small town. 10,000 people, 30 churches, 3 places with liquor licenses other than the grocery store.

 

No, church is not a good place to meet men. At least not here.

 

Very few, if any adult Ed classes. Lots and lots of activities for families and for the kids, but few for the singles.

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organizedchaos
It would be better if they were over 45.

 

I'm not a drinker or much of a sports fan. Yes, I love the Red Sox, but I'm a long way from Boston.

 

I'm in a small town. 10,000 people, 30 churches, 3 places with liquor licenses other than the grocery store.

 

No, church is not a good place to meet men. At least not here.

 

Very few, if any adult Ed classes. Lots and lots of activities for families and for the kids, but few for the singles.

 

 

Move to a big city.

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I think asking friends and family if they know any single men in your desired age range is the way to go here. The stats don't look that good in small towns.

 

About 80% of adults are in relationships. Assuming your town has kids in it (probably about 20%) that leaves 8000 adults. And that leaves about 1600 single adults. Which is about 800 single men. Even if you make an even distribution of single men (which is generous) that leaves about 130 single men in their forties. In other words, you're going to need all the help you can get...

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What's really scary about your guess is you were close...

 

There are 845 men in my town between the ages of 40-54.

 

Using your figure of 80% ( where did you get that number?) it comes to 169

 

Knocking out the men ages 40-44 leaves me with 116

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If there are divorced women in your town, there are divorced men. Otherwise you have to be willing to travel to date.

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Lol, that would make sense, but not the norm here.

 

Off the top of my head, I know of nine divorced men who moved 60 miles away to the largest city in this state. There are a few others in the back of my mind, but they could have moved back to town.

 

For my locale, it is very predominant for the age range of men who were born before 1955. By that I mean, if they divorced in their 40s, they left town because they got tired of being single. More opportunity in the big city. Now, I'm seeing their sons do the same thing.

 

On the flip side...now if men in town who are 60+ become widowers a very assertive casserole brigade arrives almost before the body is cold. I got a neighbor who has been a widow less than than 18 months. He's fat, bald, has crappy teeth, is unpleasant and is on his 3rd girlfriend. His son says he (the dad) thinks he's living a dream. It may be his third girlfriend, but it is probably the 20th woman he's dated in 18 months.

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If there are divorced women in your town, there are divorced men. Otherwise you have to be willing to travel to date.

 

 

Yeah, that's what I do, though POF does yield an occasional handful of attractive women (at least attractive to me) that are in my area. I've emailed all of them with little or no response. The rest of them, on POF, look like someone you'd see waiting for their paternity results on The Maury Show. LOL

 

It's kind of funny, some new, cute face would arrive in town...over 40, usually move here to be near family from the big city they were just in. They realize (shyt, there's no one here in my age bracket - a lot of retirees where I live, too) so they go online.

 

But yeah, I typically have done away with my town and thank heavens my car gets good gas milage, because I start corresponding with women around 30 mins to an hour away. Some may have to travel further.

 

I've gotten used to it though, well, because I have to.

 

SUprisngly, I know a female friend of mine, who lives an hour away, that is dating a guy even furhter NORTH of me...probably good half hour...which makes them both 1-1/2 hours apart from each other. He lives further out in the boonies (The swamp) than I do.

 

But yeah, if I see an attractive woman, in my age bracket out shopping or doing whatever, she's got a wedding band on 99% of the time.

 

We have a joke going on around here even, 'What do you call a good looking woman in <name of small town>" A TOURIST!

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...also, there's quite a few grandmother's in my area that became "Na-nas" before even reaching the age of 40.

 

So here I am checking out "Grandmas" in the grocery store with kids in tow, thinking its HER kids, but it's her GRAND kids.

 

Yep, so there you have it, 2 generations of "Shot gun weddings" LOL

 

They like to start their "breeding" early around here. LOL

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Lol, that would make sense, but not the norm here.

 

Off the top of my head, I know of nine divorced men who moved 60 miles away to the largest city in this state. There are a few others in the back of my mind, but they could have moved back to town.

 

For my locale, it is very predominant for the age range of men who were born before 1955. By that I mean, if they divorced in their 40s, they left town because they got tired of being single. More opportunity in the big city. Now, I'm seeing their sons do the same thing.

 

On the flip side...now if men in town who are 60+ become widowers a very assertive casserole brigade arrives almost before the body is cold. I got a neighbor who has been a widow less than than 18 months. He's fat, bald, has crappy teeth, is unpleasant and is on his 3rd girlfriend. His son says he (the dad) thinks he's living a dream. It may be his third girlfriend, but it is probably the 20th woman he's dated in 18 months.

 

 

This sounds like where I live... They are either very physically unattractive or they are burdened with a criminal record, substance abuse issues, violent, etc.

 

 

I'm trying to move... but still meeting and dating while I head that direction.

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It would be better if they were over 45.

 

I'm not a drinker or much of a sports fan. Yes, I love the Red Sox, but I'm a long way from Boston.

 

I'm in a small town. 10,000 people, 30 churches, 3 places with liquor licenses other than the grocery store.

 

No, church is not a good place to meet men. At least not here.

 

Very few, if any adult Ed classes. Lots and lots of activities for families and for the kids, but few for the singles.

If there aren't enough people, there aren't enough people. Not sure what you can do about that physically.

 

Otherwise, I don't believe in doing singles events or singles activities. Just widening the social circle, socialising, doing activities I enjoy. This is how it's best to meet like minded people. If you are physically active, you will meet people through hiking or cycling or whatever, the only bumer is if your interests are all female-oriented (cooking or knitting or similar). If you can mingle in mixed sex groups then keep mingling.

 

But I'm not really sure what you do in a town that only has 10,000 people in it. Moving would be best.

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No, church is not a good place to meet men. At least not here.

 

What's wrong with church for meeting people? I met my 2nd husband via a church I joined.

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This sounds like where I live... They are either very physically unattractive or they are burdened with a criminal record, substance abuse issues, violent, etc.

 

 

I'm trying to move... but still meeting and dating while I head that direction.

 

Robin, I saw a whole family of ....well, quite a bizarre freak fest coming out a department store the other day. I just recall the mother pushing a baby stroller and she had pink hair, also "one in the oven" wearing a shirt too tight for a 8 months pregnancy bump....of course most in that group were smokin' like a fiend. Piercings, tattoos....bleeh....hell, even people like THAT can couple up..why can't I? LOL

 

Robin, I do meet an occasional woman like yourself on POF....but they ignore me. LOL Perhaps I can use you as a sounding board as to why they won't give an actual normal, non-trailer trashy, has all his teeth, a shot.

 

There's this one woman, said in her profile she just moved from Alaska to MY town (yeah all the way from there, right?) About my age bracket, average, but pretty cute. Usually newbies that come into the area have to come to a dating site.

 

Anyhow, I emailed her "welcoming her here"...she was like "Sorry, you must be 6'0" to ride this ride " (She was 5'11"). lol Though, I don't really fault women of her height for rejecting shorter guys, but....she moved to a small assed town....figured I had a shot at her regardless....guess not. LOL

 

Maybe, like you, she has'nt realized her limited options and maybe she'll come around?

 

Of course, I had the same issue with women that "just moved to my area" that were 5'0", too...so its moot

 

I'm also noticing these "small town, new in town beauties" starting to *itch a lot in their profile to the point where they keep updating them. LOL They get irritated with the kind of rude, pervy guys that contact them, but they ignore me. ...the guy who writes them sensible , well-thought out emails, Robin.

 

*sigh* just venting

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Because everyone in small town churches are married with children.

 

 

What's wrong with church for meeting people? I met my 2nd husband via a church I joined.
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Eternal Sunshine

I never meet single men that are 30+ in everyday life. And I live in a big city. I know that I should expand my hobbies and do meet ups but it makes it so depressing that I should have to go out of my way like this just to meet single men.

 

So yeah the answer is: your pickings are slim. Even with moving, they will still be slim. If you can be bothered do male-centric activities..

Edited by Eternal Sunshine
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Robin, I saw a whole family of ....well, quite a bizarre freak fest coming out a department store the other day. I just recall the mother pushing a baby stroller and she had pink hair, also "one in the oven" wearing a shirt too tight for a 8 months pregnancy bump....of course most in that group were smokin' like a fiend. Piercings, tattoos....bleeh....hell, even people like THAT can couple up..why can't I? LOL

 

Robin, I do meet an occasional woman like yourself on POF....but they ignore me. LOL Perhaps I can use you as a sounding board as to why they won't give an actual normal, non-trailer trashy, has all his teeth, a shot.

 

There's this one woman, said in her profile she just moved from Alaska to MY town (yeah all the way from there, right?) About my age bracket, average, but pretty cute. Usually newbies that come into the area have to come to a dating site.

 

Anyhow, I emailed her "welcoming her here"...she was like "Sorry, you must be 6'0" to ride this ride " (She was 5'11"). lol Though, I don't really fault women of her height for rejecting shorter guys, but....she moved to a small assed town....figured I had a shot at her regardless....guess not. LOL

 

Maybe, like you, she has'nt realized her limited options and maybe she'll come around?

 

Of course, I had the same issue with women that "just moved to my area" that were 5'0", too...so its moot

 

I'm also noticing these "small town, new in town beauties" starting to *itch a lot in their profile to the point where they keep updating them. LOL They get irritated with the kind of rude, pervy guys that contact them, but they ignore me. ...the guy who writes them sensible , well-thought out emails, Robin.

 

*sigh* just venting

 

 

First off, I would never use POF. When I was on OkC for awhile, it was more like a networking thing... not for someone to date.... for all the reasons I mentioned above. Even the guys I met there who seemed 'normal' had these major skeletons lurking in their closet.

 

 

Somehow, right around the 2-3 month mark is when you learn about some of the more major ones. It's a bummer, because at that point there is some emotional investment... but it is understandable. Noone wants to put their life secrets and failures out there for the world to toss around.

 

 

Here's something I'd suggest... iksnay on the calling people a freak fest. Yes, I know it is here and anonymous... but if you talk like this IRL, the kind of woman you'd prefer will judge you for it. I went on a date with a guy one time who rudely gestured towards two older men standing outside a restaurant smoking... and said "Which one of THOSE would you prefer to be stranded with on a desert island? Huah Ha Ha!"

 

 

I told him "I don't know. I'd have to talk to him first."

 

 

Even though I can gripe about not meeting men I'm attracted to, or I feel have major life issues I'm not prepared to manage with them... I would never insult them as people.

 

 

I only insult people based on how they act. Not what they look like.

 

 

... as for the lady you mentioned... sounds like a rude comment to make. She doesn't sound like someone worth your time. You never need to settle for inconsiderate people. I'd rather be alone than tolerate that.

 

 

Edited: Need to respond to the OP. Where to meet men over 40? If you need to be specific about meeting a certain kind of guy (age, height, income, etc)... the best way probably is online. If there aren't a lot of those nearby, you'll need to travel or move. That's the breaks.

 

 

I can't say I've had too many of those requirements. I would have loved to just meet decent men, near my own age, who share similar interests, and are looking for a committed relationship... ones who aren't carrying the major issues I mentioned above. I've learned that those are next to impossible to find around here.... even though I do a ton of guy-related activities.

Edited by RedRobin
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That's a tough spot your in, small town, limited options. As an older man myself (53) I know I don't go out nearly as much as I used to. I've become quite the homebody. I don't hang at bars generally, and other than work and the gym, I don't go out that much. So you meeting me on anything other than a dating site would be unlikely. Of course, that goes both way. I seldom meet eligible women my age in my daily life, so OLD it is.

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