Mimsicles Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Having met a guy 2 months ago, we have been in regular contact and on 4 dates. Most mornings I wake up to a lovely text off him and we talk regularly on the phone. Recently (I may be reading too much into this) I asked when we were seeing each other again, and he said 'when I'm free'. This was almost 2 weeks ago. We have spoken every day since but still no sign of a date. I no longer get lovely text messages in the morning and am getting a bit fed up of initiating contact so on Saturday I decided there was no way I was going to call or text him. He text me at 10pm asking what was wrong because I hadn't text him! He's initiated contact everyday since, but I can't help feel I'm being strung along. Anybody out there who can enlighten me as to what the tell tale signs are?? Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Sounds like you're being strung along. He's probably dating some other hot chick and putting most of his focus on her right now, but keeping you interested enough not to bail. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 This guy would climb a mountain and slay a dragon if he had a crush on you. Right now you are the girl he keeps in the closet for a rainy day. Cut him loose. This is not going anywhere positive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate 2.0 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Thinking you're being strung along is a pretty big sign. Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulearth83 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Sounds like he is just used to you giving it away. If you like him (or perhaps even yourself) enough, you'll find a way to take control of the situation. It's ok for you to be sweet, but that is really rude of him to say "when I'm free". Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Sounds like you're being strung along. He's probably dating some other hot chick and putting most of his focus on her right now, but keeping you interested enough not to bail.<--- this! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzay03 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 You should definitely ask him what's up with you and him and tell him to be straightforward because you have no time for someone who doesn't make time for you Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 He was trying to see how far he could go with you, until you stopped him. Now he does just enough to keep you around. A guy that is in to you will never say "when I'm free" even if the guy is really busy. Your initial concerns are right on the button. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Having met a guy 2 months ago, we have been in regular contact and on 4 dates. Most mornings I wake up to a lovely text off him and we talk regularly on the phone. Recently (I may be reading too much into this) I asked when we were seeing each other again, and he said 'when I'm free'. This was almost 2 weeks ago. We have spoken every day since but still no sign of a date. I no longer get lovely text messages in the morning and am getting a bit fed up of initiating contact so on Saturday I decided there was no way I was going to call or text him. He text me at 10pm asking what was wrong because I hadn't text him! He's initiated contact everyday since, but I can't help feel I'm being strung along. Anybody out there who can enlighten me as to what the tell tale signs are?? Yep, sounds like he's stringing you along. No more contact with him, until he makes a date with you. Start seeing other people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mimsicles Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 Thanks guys. I can see now that it's definitely a stringing along situation. I'm cutting all contact although the urge to text will be great. Will have to try diverting my mind elsewhere to stop the urges. Why can't people just be honest instead of playing games?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Thanks guys. I can see now that it's definitely a stringing along situation. I'm cutting all contact although the urge to text will be great. Will have to try diverting my mind elsewhere to stop the urges. Why can't people just be honest instead of playing games?! Delete his number, at least you won't initiate. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Yes. Definitely stringing you along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mimsicles Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 I've deleted his number ! What do I do if he contacts me? Ignore him? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 In similar situations I have asked guys what's up to clear it up. The answer was never good. Maybe try that so that you can firmly shut that door. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Mimsicles, You asked I've deleted his number ! What do I do if he contacts me? Ignore him? Tell him that you'd love to see him when you aren't busy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I've deleted his number ! What do I do if he contacts me? Ignore him? Yes, take control! You deserve much better! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 If he contacts you, ignore him. Honestly, you'll see how quickly he fades away when you don't give him any energy. I know it's tough. This sounds like the situation my best friend was in for 18 months until finally it petered off. She's a single mum and really loved the little bit of attention without a lot of demands because she's so busy, but over time she became quite attached to this guy and he drip-fed her attention, which began to drive her crazy. Finally found out that he was married - of course - and he disappeared. But it was hard for her to turn it off because she'd gotten addicted to the attention he gave her, however scant. If you stop giving this guy energy, you'll have time and energy to find a really nice guy. And it's true: if someone genuinely likes you, nothing will stop him from spending time with you. Link to post Share on other sites
what_a_blonde Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I've deleted his number ! What do I do if he contacts me? Ignore him? Initially I would have said it depends in what he tells you... However nothing matters at this point. Think about it. He is keeping you on the back burner. If he does finally text you asking you to hang out, it's only cause his other option(s) have finally fallen through. Even if he does sound genuine, apologize, etc, I wouldn't buy it. He's just going to turn around and turn cold on you again the next time another option comes along. For him to be doing something like this so early in your relationship is a good sign that he's no good for you, you deserve better, and need to move on. It's up to you to ignore him or not. But if you do decide to text him back when/if he does text... Just be prepared for it to all be games he's playing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mimsicles Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Thanks guys. He did text me yesterday morning just asking what I was up too later on in the evening. So I waited until 9pm before I replied telling him I was out on the town. He had the cheek to ask why I didn't invite him!! I think he expects me to do all the chasing in this relationship, and he'll have a long wait if that's what he's waiting for. I'm yet to reply to his text as the only way I can is to get angry and say that I didn't invite him out as I assumed he wasn't free as I'm still waiting to hear. But I don't want him to think I'm bothered. So don't think I'll reply at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Thanks guys. I can see now that it's definitely a stringing along situation. I'm cutting all contact although the urge to text will be great. Will have to try diverting my mind elsewhere to stop the urges. Why can't people just be honest instead of playing games?! They want to get laid. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Thanks guys. He did text me yesterday morning just asking what I was up too later on in the evening. So I waited until 9pm before I replied telling him I was out on the town. He had the cheek to ask why I didn't invite him!! I think he expects me to do all the chasing in this relationship, and he'll have a long wait if that's what he's waiting for. I'm yet to reply to his text as the only way I can is to get angry and say that I didn't invite him out as I assumed he wasn't free as I'm still waiting to hear. But I don't want him to think I'm bothered. So don't think I'll reply at all. The true test of your strength is being firm in saying NO to the guy that is still <somewhat> interested in you. It's about you deciding to do what is best for you and then carrying out that decision. It's much easier to let go when it's already decided for you. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Mimsicles, Are you already forgetting what happened that first night????? This guy is bad news. MOVE ON and block his number.....please. Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Thanks guys. I can see now that it's definitely a stringing along situation. I'm cutting all contact although the urge to text will be great. Will have to try diverting my mind elsewhere to stop the urges. Why can't people just be honest instead of playing games?! It is not always games. After a few months the other person is still a regular person. Like ourselves, they are not always sure of what they feel or where they think things are going. There are certainly players and those who are inconsiderate, but most of us are in the mushy middle. It's time to move on. No need to be a rude. Maintain your standards and integrity. Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I see all these posts telling you that he's stringing you along. I'd like to ask you a few questions before I give my 2 cents. 1) 4 dates in 2 months? Who initiated those dates? 2) How often do you guys even text? 3) Have you had the talk about multi-dating? Is that an option you're willing to go along with or are you looking to be exclusive with this guy? Does he even know that? To be fair, with the limited information you provided, I can't tell if he's stringing you along, or waiting for you to reciprocate wanting to be with him. I have been in situations where I got tired of initiating contact and not seeing a reciprocation of interest. I would often start to distance myself by not setting plans, and by becoming more distant in hopes that she would see me pulling away and do something about it! Not having effective communication with this guy and trying to beat around the bush is playing games. Why do you want to play games? Tell him what you want. If he isn't the guy that can provide that, then you will have your answer. And yes, if a man is into you and feels you are into him, he will move mountains to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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