Wingless Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 So, if you want more info on our relationship just ask, but this is the conversation I just had over the phone with my boyfriend. What does this mean, why would he say it, why did it hurt me so bad? ect. Just input Him: " I love you wifey." Me: " I love you too babe!" Him: "I love you more." Me: "Do you?" (jokingly) Him: "Actually, no, I know you love me more." He wasn't joking about it, this comment really bothers me. When I asked him about it he was just like "Well, yeah, I love you, but I know you love me more than I love you. You're crazy head over heels for me." Link to post Share on other sites
divinegrace Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Words can touch us to the core... It hurt because you wanted to continue the quantification. It can't and doesn't really work. BUT - there's a book you NEED TO READ. It's called the five love languages and it talks about the different ways we express love: 1. physical touch 2. words of affirmation 3. gifts 4 quality time 5. acts of service It sounds like you're a words girl, and I can totally relate. Those words are POWER. A simple "you're beautiful" or an "I love you more" can make us feel like a million bucks. But when we don't get them as often as we'd like, or if we get words that seem to threaten that, it hurts. You need to consider if you feel confident in yourself and your relationship, and if you can talk to him about the ways you need for his love to be expressed. Personally, I have requested the last 3 men I've dated read it. One did, and totally ignored it's contents in the relationship (the relationship didn't work). One refused (see ya!) and my current boyfriend started reading it before we were even officially dating (impressive!). Is his ability to give what I need for words there yet? There's room for improvement, but I also see the love he has in his touch and acts of service. He's wonderful. I suggest that as long as the communication is there, keep talking about your love frankly. It's the power of words. Good luck to you - keep talking, girl! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cakess Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 So, if you want more info on our relationship just ask, but this is the conversation I just had over the phone with my boyfriend. What does this mean, why would he say it, why did it hurt me so bad? ect. Just input Him: " I love you wifey." Me: " I love you too babe!" Him: "I love you more." Me: "Do you?" (jokingly) Him: "Actually, no, I know you love me more." He wasn't joking about it, this comment really bothers me. When I asked him about it he was just like "Well, yeah, I love you, but I know you love me more than I love you. You're crazy head over heels for me." I think you might be worried that when he says this you think he feels less attached to you, then what if you break up? Will he not feel a thing? Or maybe that he's openly admitted to playing with you? It could mean those things, but I doubt it does since he did say he loved you. How long have you two been dating? My boyfriend used to say things like that, teasing me because he knew I was head over heels for him. We've only been together about 2 years, but once we had a huge fight, and once he realized that I didn't mind letting him go either, he stopped making those jokes. Now we're "head over heels" for each other! Maybe you have to turn up the heat alittle? Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I think you might be worried that when he says this you think he feels less attached to you, then what if you break up? Will he not feel a thing? Or maybe that he's openly admitted to playing with you? It could mean those things, but I doubt it does since he did say he loved you. How long have you two been dating? My boyfriend used to say things like that, teasing me because he knew I was head over heels for him. We've only been together about 2 years, but once we had a huge fight, and once he realized that I didn't mind letting him go either, he stopped making those jokes. Now we're "head over heels" for each other! Maybe you have to turn up the heat alittle? May I please advise against this. It might cause unnecessary drama. It might also lead to destruction of a relationship. Imagine stirring something up and he becomes irritated enough to simply end the relationship. Then you're feeling even worse. Just leave it alone. That's my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 So, if you want more info on our relationship just ask, but this is the conversation I just had over the phone with my boyfriend. What does this mean, why would he say it, why did it hurt me so bad? ect. Just input Him: " I love you wifey." Me: " I love you too babe!" Him: "I love you more." Me: "Do you?" (jokingly) Him: "Actually, no, I know you love me more." He wasn't joking about it, this comment really bothers me. When I asked him about it he was just like "Well, yeah, I love you, but I know you love me more than I love you. You're crazy head over heels for me." Love can't be compared and isn't tied up in ego. You two sound like you are attracted and infatuated with each other. Let it go because honestly you can't force someone to feel more than they do and what you are feeling is more of a blow to your ego than a real concern to a fledgling relationship. Good luck, G 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cakess Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 May I please advise against this. It might cause unnecessary drama. It might also lead to destruction of a relationship. Imagine stirring something up and he becomes irritated enough to simply end the relationship. Then you're feeling even worse. Just leave it alone. That's my opinion. No no, sorry, let me be a little more clear. I don't mean for her to pick a fight necessarily, I mean maybe pull away from him a bit, just to remind him that she's not a permanent "fan" of his. I mean, that is risky so it's up to her. I was only referring to my own relationship and that I did it (not intentionally, however), and it really woke him up to his own feelings about me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Overthinking. Link to post Share on other sites
freetolove Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 hm sounds like you married the wrong guy? lol kidding. well maybe you can tell him i love you less then you love me today because you were cocky yesterday. (joking and partially serious) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 This reminds me of Star Wars when Leia tells Han that she loves him, and his response is "I know". It's a douche move, maybe he's trying to seem unattached, therefore creating an emotional response out of you, albeit negative response, so you end up thinking about him even more, thus feeling more attached to him. Think of it as reverse psychology or emotional manipulation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wingless Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Thanks for the responses everyone! He brought the subject back up last night on his own and was like "I just wanted to let you know, that I wasn't being serious when I said that and I'm sorry. It was just an ego thing, you're making me too 'soft' and I was trying to 'harden' myself back up when I said that, because it's been hard being without you and it's getting to me. Where I'm at right now, I can't risk being 'soft,' that can get me in trouble (He's away right now!) My love for you is unconditional, extraordinary and infinite, just as your love for me is...." and he kept talking about our love. lol. So, we're good now. =] Link to post Share on other sites
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