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Flakey or blowing me off


bathound

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I 1st met her abt 5 years ago. High flying career woman. Very senior position. Overseas business trips every now & again, works long hours,has many friends & social activities to keep her occupied.

 

I only got to see her maybe 2-3 times a year in church, in which in the last 2-3 years she seemed to be more & more touchy feely towards me. She once suggested going out for drinks, but that never materialsed. At a mutual friend's gathering this year, thats when she, I felt, started marking me as her territory when I was talking to other women there. She suggested hanging out after the gathering & we had a great time. She seemed to be making her interest very obvious during out time together. She hinted a few times that we should be doing this more often whenever possible.

 

Towards xmas, I text her to arrange xmas dinner. She replied the next day citing tight schedules due to slew of year end business dinners, xmas shopping & needing time to catch up with her Godma.

 

I counter proposed new year's day. She said ok, but have to check flight schedules as she might be in away for a friend's wedding. But she never got back to me. I called her on xmas day to wish her & to confirm new year's day dinner. She said she missed seeing her Godma on xmas, so wants to catch up with her, & would text me to rearrange things during my time away with my parents for xmas. Im now back in town, & still not a word. Im now not expecting to hear anything from her.

 

Is she now trying to blow me off or is she just being flakey?

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deathandtaxes

Have you asked when she is available? Not two specific very busy days. Christmas and New Year's? Come on, don't ask people out on those days for first dates. Bad.

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Yes. I did so. I asked her availability anytime from mid December to the 23rd for xmas dinner. But she said it would be tight. I then said I would be at my parents' place from 25th to 31st Dec. So I asked how about new year's day since it was a public holiday.

 

Initially she replied ok, but need to check flight schedule as she is flying off on the 27th for a friend's wedding. But she never got back to me.

 

Then when I called on xmas day, she cancelled it again saying she needs to work the next day apart from seeing her Godma.

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Your toast....

 

She basically gave you a free shot and sleeping with her and you missed it not once but twice

 

Time to move on and date other women...

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Your toast....

 

She basically gave you a free shot and sleeping with her and you missed it not once but twice

 

Time to move on and date other women...

 

In what way have I missed it once or twice?? There's never been any chance to do anything other than the 1st time we hung out. Besides, I only managed to get her number during the gathering 3 months ago.

 

Had to admit I didnt particularly like her when i 1st met her those years ago as felt she was kinda unreliable. Appeared friendly tho. But twice she suggested hanging out after church on certain sundays & twice she went out with other people instead on those appointed days.

 

It was only about 2 years ago when a mutual friend was keen to match us up, & when this woman appeared to be getting more intersted that I gave her a chance. Early last year she suggested going for drinks after church, but did not turn up. So again I wrote her off.

 

But after hanging out with her & finding that we connected very well, that I decided to pursue her. But looks like her unreliable ways have returned.

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She may not be intentionally blowing you off - or doing so with malice, I guess. She just has other stuff going on and prefers to do that than see you - it may have even slipped her mind and now she's embarrassed. But it's likely she's just not feeling it as much as you are.

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She may not be intentionally blowing you off - or doing so with malice, I guess. She just has other stuff going on and prefers to do that than see you - it may have even slipped her mind and now she's embarrassed. But it's likely she's just not feeling it as much as you are.

 

I tend to agree with you on the bolded parts. When my friend 1st brought up the subject of matching me with her, I just could not reconcile things. High flying, very driven career woman who works long hours with plenty of friends & social activities to keep her occupied - why on earth would she want/need a man in her life? The man would be at best only a hobby so to speak. But my friend replied "No, she still needs a man's shoulder to rest her head on". I just left it at that.

 

But when this woman seemed to start showing stronger signs of interest thats when I decided to give her a chance. It was during our 1st date that i found that I actually enjoyed her company & she was also seemed to be getting very obvious when showing interest. So now im trying to arrange a 2nd date & its seems to be in vain.

 

It does appear my initial reservations about giving her a chance is turning out to be true.

 

Neither am I sure if she is playing hard to get. Any possibility of this??

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IME women who are the go getter type and ask men out are the flakiest. A friend of mine pretty much relies on instagram (I guess it's the new OLD). Women will like his pics, they'll start messaging and the women offer up their numbers. Anyway, he's dates two women from this and they both eventually flaked but he did get laid once. They're flakier because they're proactive in their dating lives. If they're neutral or less about a guy they'll ask another one out. They don't sit around waiting for a guy hit on them.

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