Is it bad for a woman to give compliments?

[ja123]

Guys,

 

 

How do you feel if a woman gives you compliments when you're just getting to know her?

 

 

 

 

Gals,

 

 

Do you ever give compliments? If so, what kind? How is it received?

 

 

 

 

Background:

 

 

I went on a few dates with a couple of guys recently. If I like something I say it. However, I noticed they didn't really give compliments back. So, I'm uncertain what type of "game" I should play. (P.S. For the Record: I hate playing games. But, is that what is required when dating these days?)

[MrCastle]

It's very strange. I don't really get complimented much. When I was unsuccessful -- I would get compliments all the time. Now, not so much.

 

I take that to mean I come across as confident, almost cocky, so girls refrain from complimenting either because they feel I don't need it or it might go straight to my head. I don't know. Strange situation it is.

 

I would appreciate them certainly.

[d0nnivain]

If you are using the word game as a misnomer for the sometimes awkward give & take of a new relationship, play away.

 

If you mean you are going to count & not give a compliment until you have received a certain # back, that's uncool.

 

On one level I think men have been somewhat brainwashed about not giving out too many compliments so that the women they are dating don't get spoiled or perceive them to be at our beck & call. On the other hand I think people can be shy & aren't always sure what's appropriate. We're bombarded by messages about political correctness & sexual harrassment. It can be confusing for some.

 

While commenting on someone's appearance at work could land you in hot water, it is OK on a date as in "you look nice today." I'm straighforward. If I like something I tell somebody. For example the girl who was running the cash register last night when DH & I went Christmas shopping had absolutely gorgeous hair so I told her that. She was delighted to receive the compliment, rang me up with a smile on her face & we both went on our way.

[Keenly]

I love compliments. Women never give them though.

 

 

A lot of women seem to think that affirmation is a one way street. I don't know where society got this idea that men don't want / need / like to be told they are admired / appreciated, but it really sucks when its give give give and as a guy you have nothing coming down the pipe but sex. Don't get me wrong , sex is fantastic, but its not the same as getting a text saying that she loves how soft my lips are or thought I was dressed nice / looked good the other day.

[Grumpybutfun]

Compliments when I was dating was always welcome. I don't know many people who do not like genuine compliments...but don't do it if it is only for a game playing technique as people can generally tell if you are genuine or not.

G

[carhill]

In general, I don't think it's 'bad', though I would advise, as with most anything, moderation.

 

IME, in recent memory, the closest thing I've received to a compliment (very rare for me) was a lady saying "I've wanted to meet you for a couple years now". I thought that was nice, but wondered a bit about her husband and interim lovers, though not too much since such compliments are rare IME. Still, isolated, that was a compliment I appreciated.

 

The way I see it is, if you feel positive about an aspect of the man and wish to communicate it, do so. Leave it at that. This isn't 'keeping score'. Move on to the next thing.

 

Good luck.

[regine_phalange]

I give compliments, why not?

[StanMusial]

It is not bad, but it might not be reciprocated.

 

I have heard girls put down other girls for complimenting me though. They were saying it would go to my head. Not really, it was nice to hear but it wasn't like I was going to have some huge ego boost off it.

[Fondue]

It is not bad, but it might not be reciprocated.

 

I have heard girls put down other girls for complimenting me though. They were saying it would go to my head. Not really, it was nice to hear but it wasn't like I was going to have some huge ego boost off it.

 

Whenever I am complimented, I always think: "well, if she thinks this way, there must be x-amount of women that think the same thing. Go me." It does get to my head.

[soccerrprp]

I get them. Not too frequently, but it's always nice to get them if I feel they are genuine.

[melell]

 

I take that to mean I come across as confident, almost cocky, so girls refrain from complimenting either because they feel I don't need it or it might go straight to my head.

You are bang on with this.

[PegNosePete]

The best compliment is another date or progression of the relationship.

Actions > words.

[MalachiX]

Have we all gotten so trapped into the BS game of dating that women really need to ask if it's OK to compliment men?

 

Seriously, all this focus on gender rules in dating just seems to create problems rather than help anyone. I compliment my friends and anyone who I care about. Why wouldn't a woman do the same to a guy she likes?

[Emilia]

I compliment the men I date. The last guy I went out with had a beautiful skin tone and a flawless complexion so I told him. He also had really thick head of hair and other nice features and he liked my noticing. I don't care how confident or not the man is, if I think there is something striking about him I'll tell him. That includes aspects of his personality, etc. Good things should be encouraged.

[rocketman122]

my last GF complimented me twice in 2 years. and both times I didnt believe it was genuine. I told her all the time. It pissed me off she didnt give any. I dont need it all the time but crap, once a month is too hard? I know she didnt because in her mind, it would make her feel weak and she thought it would go to my head and I would feel above her. I always complimented her. she got mad when I didnt. haha but it was always genuine.