Does it annoy you when someone ignores your texts..

[Conners]

This question has probably been asked a few times but do any other girls out there get annoyed and/or offended when their boyfriends or the guy they are seeing simply ignores your msgs.. It kind of seems a petty to get upset over it but when I log onto facebook and see my boyfriend commenting on things and online but doesn't have the decency to reply it really annoys me. I don't say anything to him and don't double msg because I know he will talk to me eventually but I just think it's rude.

 

For example today we we were msging and discussing about me staying over tonight once he gets home from the gym, which is probably around 8.30pm and then all of a sudden he stops replying to me but he was still active on facebook. I know he will text me around 9pm and be like "are you still coming over" blah blah, is it petty to not go over and be like "sorry you didn't reply and confirm so I made other plans since you didn't bother msging me back" Seems very immature but i'm just trying to make him realise he can't get away with ignoring me and then talking to me when HE feels like it.

[Emilia]

For example today we we were msging and discussing about me staying over tonight once he gets home from the gym, which is probably around 8.30pm and then all of a sudden he stops replying to me but he was still active on facebook. I know he will text me around 9pm and be like "are you still coming over" blah blah, is it petty to not go over and be like "sorry you didn't reply and confirm so I made other plans since you didn't bother msging me back" Seems very immature but i'm just trying to make him realise he can't get away with ignoring me and then talking to me when HE feels like it.

You are right. It is immature. Next time pick up the phone and talk. Jeeeez.

[Conners]

You are right. It is immature. Next time pick up the phone and talk. Jeeeez.

 

Slightly condescending insight.. but it's a bit hard to call when he's at work from 6am-3pm and im at work from 9am-6pm. And he's at the gym from 6-8pm -__-

[mammasita]

I don't think that's condescending. You surely can take a 5 minute break at work right?

 

I've had times when I was supposed to be headed over to my mans house, I text him....no response....I called - 30 second conversation. All is well.

[RedRobin]

I'm not keen on people who use texting as their primary mode of communication... partly for the reasons you mentioned above.

 

If it is worth discussing, it is worth a real phone call.

[Conners]

I'm not keen on people who use texting as their primary mode of communication... partly for the reasons you mentioned above.

 

If it is worth discussing, it is worth a real phone call.

 

You're right, its a pain in the bum to text! but it is our main form of communication when we aren't together since either one of us are at work most of the day. I just can't hep but get annoyed when i'm ignored and I don't want to sit around waiting for him to respond, especially since i'm the one who has to go see him majority of the time since he's in the process of getting his license back. It just seems inconsiderate.

[Conners]

I don't think that's condescending. You surely can take a 5 minute break at work right?

 

I've had times when I was supposed to be headed over to my mans house, I text him....no response....I called - 30 second conversation. All is well.

 

Yes, I do get a break at work but once again our times don't match up as his break is 10-11am and mine is 1-1.30pm I'm on reception so I can get away with texting but not calling

[d0nnivain]

We get that you two have scheduling issues but do you understand our point, that texting is the world's worst form of communication. When you have a long back & forth, somebody is going to drop off the "conversation" because it's a p.i.t.a. to maintain.

 

So yes, it is unfortunate that you aren't getting answers when you want them but you also said that your BF will reach out when he gets home from the gym so why not change that from a text to call? Problem solved.

 

BTW, if he's "free" from 3 to 6 after he gets out of work before he goes to the gym, you could take a short break & call him then.

[Conners]

We get that you two have scheduling issues but do you understand our point, that texting is the world's worst form of communication. When you have a long back & forth, somebody is going to drop off the "conversation" because it's a p.i.t.a. to maintain.

 

So yes, it is unfortunate that you aren't getting answers when you want them but you also said that your BF will reach out when he gets home from the gym so why not change that from a text to call? Problem solved.

 

BTW, if he's "free" from 3 to 6 after he gets out of work before he goes to the gym, you could take a short break & call him then.

 

Completely understand you and he goes to the gym at that time because that's when his mates go. Right on schedule, he just messaged me saying he's tired and going to bed now unless I was still going to come over. I just said nah wasn't really planning on it. He's being cold and blunt now and said whatever then. Almost feels like he uses me when he's like this.

[travelbug1996]

I wouldn't go to his house. That's whats wrong these days, men get away with too much bad behavior and we as women turn around and reward it. When will we learn?

[Conners]

I wouldn't go to his house. That's whats wrong these days, men get away with too much bad behavior and we as women turn around and reward it. When will we learn?

 

Thankyou! That's exactly what i'm getting at. Basically this is how the conversation went:

 

Him: Im just going straight to bed unless you still wanna come over? x

Me: umm nah I wasn't really planning on it. goodnight!

Him: whatever hey, night

Me: Typical, you get ****ty when you're not gonna get some

Him: oh nah just sounded like you were annoyed at me, and i wasn't ignoring u i was having my shake

Him: oii i wasn't ignoring you x but im about to go to sleep babe so goodnight xoxoxox sorry

 

I'm sick of going to see him when its convenient for him to be honest. I'm defintley not rewarding his ****ty behaviour.

[Acacia98]

Lol. A guy I dated used to do something similar. Initially, it irritated me, but I thought he was just distracted by work. Then stuff happened that made me realize he was actually doing it strategically. It turned out to be one of these games where he was exercising 'control' by denying me communication (and validation). He'd stop communicating with me bang in the middle of an exchange, then he would ignore me for a while. But of course he had time to chat at length with others. Anyway, long story short, I got bored and drifted away. It turned out that the ladies he dated before me used to react differently: They used to get jealous, and he liked that dynamic. So he was trying to reproduce it in our relationship. I'd clearly 'failed' the test. Yawn...

 

I don't know what the story is with your guy, but it clearly is something that bugs you. So, if the relationship is worth your time, bring it up. Tell him it bugs you when he stops talking to you bang in the middle of a conversation and see what he says or does about it. If nothing changes afterwards, change the way you respond to being ignored. If he doesn't respond to a first text, send him a second one and let him know you'll need an answer by 3:00 pm (or whenever) so that you can plan your day. Then if he doesn't respond, when he resurfaces, you can always say, "Sorry, when I didn't hear from you, I assumed you'd changed your mind."

 

When it finally becomes a big enough issue to become a deal-breaker, move on. There are guys out there that actually enjoy communicating and know some basic conversation etiquette.

[Conners]

Lol. A guy I dated used to do something similar. Initially, it irritated me, but I thought he was just distracted by work. Then stuff happened that made me realize he was actually doing it strategically. It turned out to be one of these games where he was exercising 'control' by denying me communication (and validation). He'd stop communicating with me bang in the middle of an exchange, then he would ignore me for a while. But of course he had time to chat at length with others. Anyway, long story short, I got bored and drifted away. It turned out that the ladies he dated before me used to react differently: They used to get jealous, and he liked that dynamic. So he was trying to reproduce it in our relationship. I'd clearly 'failed' the test. Yawn...

 

I don't know what the story is with your guy, but it clearly is something that bugs you. So, if the relationship is worth your time, bring it up. Tell him it bugs you when he stops talking to you bang in the middle of a conversation and see what he says or does about it. If nothing changes afterwards, change the way you respond to being ignored. If he doesn't respond to a first text, send him a second one and let him know you'll need an answer by 3:00 pm (or whenever) so that you can plan your day. Then if he doesn't respond, when he resurfaces, you can always say, "Sorry, when I didn't hear from you, I assumed you'd changed your mind."

 

When it finally becomes a big enough issue to become a deal-breaker, move on. There are guys out there that actually enjoy communicating and know some basic conversation etiquette.

 

Sounds similar to me, I know he was playing games in the beginning, he admitted that. The whole "treat them mean, keep them keen" theory. I didn't fall for it because i'm not stupid. He's only 19 so I can read him like a book sometimes I just played dirty aswell and it worked in my favour. He was always like "you're not like the other girls, my mind games didn't really work on you, I think that's why i fell for you so much blah blah blah" HA!

These days I know its not the case, no point in mind games nearly a year into the relationship, he is just lazy now.. :\

[StanMusial]

I wouldn't go to his house. That's whats wrong these days, men get away with too much bad behavior and we as women turn around and reward it. When will we learn?

 

You like it.

[Acacia98]

Sounds similar to me, I know he was playing games in the beginning, he admitted that. The whole "treat them mean, keep them keen" theory. I didn't fall for it because i'm not stupid. He's only 19 so I can read him like a book sometimes I just played dirty aswell and it worked in my favour. He was always like "you're not like the other girls, my mind games didn't really work on you, I think that's why i fell for you so much blah blah blah" HA!

These days I know its not the case, no point in mind games nearly a year into the relationship, he is just lazy now.. :\

 

Well, that narrows things down considerably. He is still playing mind games. But maybe his motivation is different this time. Whatever the case, it sounds annoying and stupid.

[winny]

This question has probably been asked a few times but do any other girls out there get annoyed and/or offended when their boyfriends or the guy they are seeing simply ignores your msgs.. It kind of seems a petty to get upset over it but when I log onto facebook and see my boyfriend commenting on things and online but doesn't have the decency to reply it really annoys me. I don't say anything to him and don't double msg because I know he will talk to me eventually but I just think it's rude.

 

For example today we we were msging and discussing about me staying over tonight once he gets home from the gym, which is probably around 8.30pm and then all of a sudden he stops replying to me but he was still active on facebook. I know he will text me around 9pm and be like "are you still coming over" blah blah, is it petty to not go over and be like "sorry you didn't reply and confirm so I made other plans since you didn't bother msging me back" Seems very immature but i'm just trying to make him realise he can't get away with ignoring me and then talking to me when HE feels like it.

 

If this guy is your boyfriend then yes, you have reason to feel upset.

[MoroccoMole]

This question has probably been asked a few times but do any other girls out there get annoyed and/or offended when their boyfriends or the guy they are seeing simply ignores your msgs.. It kind of seems a petty to get upset over it but when I log onto facebook and see my boyfriend commenting on things and online but doesn't have the decency to reply it really annoys me. I don't say anything to him and don't double msg because I know he will talk to me eventually but I just think it's rude.

 

For example today we we were msging and discussing about me staying over tonight once he gets home from the gym, which is probably around 8.30pm and then all of a sudden he stops replying to me but he was still active on facebook. I know he will text me around 9pm and be like "are you still coming over" blah blah, is it petty to not go over and be like "sorry you didn't reply and confirm so I made other plans since you didn't bother msging me back" Seems very immature but i'm just trying to make him realise he can't get away with ignoring me and then talking to me when HE feels like it.

 

I am 100% with you on this. My ex-gf used to pull the same crap on me and it drove me absolutely mad. We could be in the middle of a meaningful interesting conversation or making plans and she would completely ignore me for hours but would be active on instagram commenting, talking to people etc. I'm not at all violent/angry or petty but I used to lose my s**t when I was being put through that. It's so rude and inconsiderate and makes it feel like there's a lack of mutual respect between the two of you. You're not alone =)

[Under The Radar]

As some others have mentioned, texting is a horrible form of communication for anything beyond an exchange of factual information such as:

 

1. Honey, don't forget to pick up the bread and milk from the store.

 

2. We're meeting at 7 tonight for dinner?

 

3. Occasional flirt or conformational "love you babe, have a great day"!

 

You get the idea. Too many people use texting for conversations that quite frankly are inappropriate for the topic at hand. For anyone whose primary form of communication is texting, they should expect major problems in their interpersonal relationships at some point.

 

You need to discuss this with your boyfriend and explain how it bothers you. He will compromise on the matter if he knows how important it is to you. Better yet, I'd suggest calling him on the phone, even if it's just for a few minutes, to touch base.

[befriendlyplease]

This question has probably been asked a few times but do any other girls out there get annoyed and/or offended when their boyfriends or the guy they are seeing simply ignores your msgs.. It kind of seems a petty to get upset over it but when I log onto facebook and see my boyfriend commenting on things and online but doesn't have the decency to reply it really annoys me. I don't say anything to him and don't double msg because I know he will talk to me eventually but I just think it's rude.

 

For example today we we were msging and discussing about me staying over tonight once he gets home from the gym, which is probably around 8.30pm and then all of a sudden he stops replying to me but he was still active on facebook. I know he will text me around 9pm and be like "are you still coming over" blah blah, is it petty to not go over and be like "sorry you didn't reply and confirm so I made other plans since you didn't bother msging me back" Seems very immature but i'm just trying to make him realise he can't get away with ignoring me and then talking to me when HE feels like it.

 

Yes, it annoys me. My advice is if you don't hear from him to make plans independent of him and then follow through with them.

[Eggplant]

I feel strongly that texting is not any way to communicate. I for one think 12 hours is a reasonable response time for text messages.

 

The other issue is, you're right. Don't be so available whenever he wants. If he wants you to spend the night, he should call you up and invite you. If he texts you a non-invitation, basically inviting you to invite yourself over and do all the work, as I said, 12 hours is a reasonable response time.