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Guys...why the future talk?


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Old 10th November 2013, 3:17 PM   #1
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Guys...why the future talk?

After the obvious saying anything to get a chic in bed, of course, why talk about the future? Major stuff, minor stuff, why even go there if you have no intention of following through? I've been burned by the last two guys I've liked because I've believed what they said in regards to future dates and such. I'm a trusting person, no doubt, so I need to try to see future talk for the BS that it is. But I just don't get why a guy would even go there when, excluding sex, there seems to be no benefit. Am I missing something? I guess I just don't get guys! LOL
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Old 10th November 2013, 3:18 PM   #2
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Women do this too. Trust me, I know. It's not really for sex but they do this stuff and then break it off.
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Old 10th November 2013, 3:23 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Confusedguy81 View Post
Women do this too. Trust me, I know. It's not really for sex but they do this stuff and then break it off.
Okay, so men or women, why? What's the point? If you don't like someone, why do it?
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Old 10th November 2013, 3:24 PM   #4
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Because its what the ladies want to hear.
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Old 10th November 2013, 3:37 PM   #5
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manders:
I never used "future talk" to get sex. I find using future talk or "I love you" for sex to be repulsive. I would usually just tell women the truth, that I wasn't into exclusive relationships, and rarely had any of them to turn me down. They actually appreciated the honesty. I had a few who didn't pursue sex with me because they said they only felt it was moral to only sleep with men they loved. I thought that was fair, but we would still hang out because I enjoyed their company.
As far as why men would do future talk even if there is no sex, I wouldn't have a clue on that as it seems useless. Age probably has a lot to do with wishy washy bfs.
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Old 10th November 2013, 3:39 PM   #6
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I found that honesty usually worked. No need to lie to anybody.
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Old 10th November 2013, 3:42 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Grumpybutfun View Post
manders:
I never used "future talk" to get sex. I find using future talk or "I love you" for sex to be repulsive. I would usually just tell women the truth, that I wasn't into exclusive relationships, and rarely had any of them to turn me down. They actually appreciated the honesty. I had a few who didn't pursue sex with me because they said they only felt it was moral to only sleep with men they loved. I thought that was fair, but we would still hang out because I enjoyed their company.
As far as why men would do future talk even if there is no sex, I wouldn't have a clue on that as it seems useless. Age probably has a lot to do with wishy washy bfs.
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I'm a HUGE proponent of honesty and I appreciate that you are too. Definitely need to be more people, not just men, that are as well when it comes to relationships. I could see the age thing but specific to my past, the guys have been 40 and 34, neither immature guys regardless of their age.
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Old 10th November 2013, 5:08 PM   #8
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Sex and it's what the ladies like to hear....
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Old 10th November 2013, 5:11 PM   #9
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sorry to hear you get burned like this. it really seems to create a bad stigma for guys who do not do this and are up front and honest about what they want.
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Old 10th November 2013, 5:44 PM   #10
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Yes I know what you mean! Its like they talk about the future and how they see you in it...then a few months or days later they act like they've never said anything about it or say something very contradictory... The only advice I have is to carefuly chose who to trust and focus on the present and not to worry too much about the future
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Old 10th November 2013, 5:54 PM   #11
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Guys...why the future talk?
I've found planning for the future to be an often pleasant escape from the drudgery of the present, especially right now when it's all work recovering from divorce. Perhaps the difference is that I deliver on my promises/plans. Being rotten at smooth talk has precluded many an interpersonal relationship from getting off the ground simply because, comparatively, it is pretty boring to dream the dreams one can deliver on. When I stand by and watch the successful males bullshyte women, I just shake my head. Of course, I've eaten up the reverse which would be blatantly obvious to another woman while I'm blinded by 'feminine wiles'. It is what it is. Wish I had a cure I could bottle up and sell you, for then I'd be long gone out of this place. Good luck.
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