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Dating neighbors young cute daughter and its a bit akward


planb1973

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So I have lived in my house for 4 years and every Friday without fail their daughter comes over for dinner. I have never gotten much of a chance to talk to her since she just runs right in the house, but having a close relationship with her parents I know a bit about her.

 

She ended an engagement and dumped her rebound BF a couple of months ago, found that out from her mom, and I had just ended a 3 year relationship earlier this year. Not being stupid I asked her out for dinner and she said yes before I could finish asking.

 

We went out for our first dinner and like most first dates we were both a bit nervous. At the end of the date when I dropped her off I got an awkward hug as she bolted for the door. A week later we got together for another dinner and as I went in for the kiss she turned her head and I got the cheek then she bolted for the door. Third date I took her out sailing and had a nice day on the river, no wind but I made up for it by motoring through downtown making all the bridges raise. At the end of that date I went for the kiss and it was warmly reciprocated, but was awkward all the same. Then she bolted for the door. I told her I wanted to make her dinner, but at her place because I did not want her parents spying on us at my house, she said that would be great and I told her I would call her in a couple of days.

 

I ended up getting some really bad news and did not call her for a good week. We got together for dinner at her place and had a great 4 hour conversation followed by a good night kiss and hug, no major make-out session just a nice kiss.

 

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to get some history out there.

 

So here is my issues. We have known of each other for 4 years now but just started dating last month. Not once has she initiated contact with me, I make all the calls which she returns the same day, and have sent her just a couple of have a great day texts which she replies thank you you too. It is getting a bit frustrating being the only one to initiate every communication. The kissing has been ok but no passion or desire detected more like she feels obligated. I think she is interested in me since she continues to go on dates with me. And after coming across her on a dating site I have noticed that she has become less active since we started dating.

 

I just can't get a reading on her. I have never had a relationship start slow, they all go full throttle right after the first or second date, so I am wondering if her behaviors are normal or if she is just not that into me.

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I suspect that your relationship with & proximity to her parents is freaking her out. Had you met under other circumstances perhaps things could have been different but while you are their neighbor I think she is going to be off put by the idea of a genuine relationship with you, It's just too close to home, literally

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Maybe she enjoys the treats and attention, but isn't all that attracted to you.

 

Plus you live next door. Where are her parents when you are over there? Do they know?

 

If the age gap is large (10+), then she is probably hiding the little pinch and tickle sessions you are having from them and just tells them you are nice old(er) man.

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Sounds like things are progressing at a slower rate than normal, that's good and at least she's kissing you and being affectionate.

 

I'd continue on forward with this one.

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Yes things are definitely progressing slower than I am used to. As much as I have tried moving slower in the past I can never seem to make it past the second date with my pants on. This one I am 4 dates in and my tongue is still in my mouth. I have to keep reminding myself that all my other rocketship relationships have all crashed and burned in a bad way. There is something unique and special about this one though. I can sense it, but it is hidden behind a nervous awkward wall.

 

The age difference is not that huge I am 40 she is 32. And her parents are aware of us dating. Her mom I believe is egging her on. She told me how 4 years ago as I was fixing up the place before I moved in and was still sleeping on a cot in the living room that her mom told her to "put on some lipstick and go across the street and ask the new guy over for cake." Unfortunately I was in a huge state of depression after my father died and was not in a good emotional place for dating and blew her off. I had to wait 4 years for another try.

 

How can I make her feel more comfortable around me? It is awkward for me as well but am getting over it. I really like her.

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I didn't realize that you two weren't kids. When you described her the "cute young daughter" I'm thinking she can't be more than 21 - 22.

 

Talk to the woman. Ask her what she wants, then give it to her if you are amenable.

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deathandtaxes

What do you want with her? If you're concerned about the pace, we're the wrong people to be asking. Be assertive and let her know how you feel and what you think of the pace of things.

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