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He's suddenly stopped texting - another one of these qns


Chr15

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I've been seeing a guy for about 2 months. He has always been really keen, telling me how much he liked me, texting to say he can't wait to see me etc.

 

Everything was going really well until about 2 weeks ago. I went over to his on the Sunday evening and we hung out. Hadn't heard from him by Thursday, but then again I hadn't text him til then either, so I figured we were both busy (had discussed our plans on the Sunday) so no big deal. He didn't reply until Saturday night, which is totally unlike him (we would both usually reply within 20 minutes). He was by then away for a friends birthday so we sent a few texts back and forth and then I said to him to enjoy his night, because I didn't want to be bothering him while he was out with friends.

 

He never text me when he got home, so the following Tuesday I text him and we sent a few texts back and forth again. Haven't heard from him since then (Sunday night where I am now).

 

I don't want to text because I get the feeling he doesn't want to talk to me. We never went more than 2/3 days without talking so it's unusual that he hasn't got in touch. I'm guessing he doesn't want to see me again, which is fine if that's how he feels, but why couldn't he just grow a pair and tell me so I don't have to spend a week wondering if I'll hear from him again!?!?

Or should I just text him incase he's thinking the same thing?

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Either he is a sackless wonder that doesn't have the guts to end it or he wants to see if you'll take initiative to set up plans.

 

Are you the type to let the man do all the heavy lifting and make plans?

If not & you ask him to get together just as much as he asks you then it's the first one.

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I don't want to text because I get the feeling he doesn't want to talk to me...

 

Switch positions.

Now is he thinking you're not texting him cos you don't want to talk to him?

 

What's to loose?

 

Text him.

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deathandtaxes
Switch positions.

Now is he thinking you're not texting him cos you don't want to talk to him?

 

What's to loose?

 

Text him.

 

Been seeing him two months? I think you should CALL him.

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Switch positions.

Now is he thinking you're not texting him cos you don't want to talk to him?

 

Thanks for your replies. I did say at the end should I text him incase this is what he was thinking. I have no problem calling him normally - the reason I'm questioning this is because in the last 2 weeks I've been the one to initiate all contact, when normally it's 50/50

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deathandtaxes
Thanks for your replies. I did say at the end should I text him incase this is what he was thinking. I have no problem calling him normally - the reason I'm questioning this is because in the last 2 weeks I've been the one to initiate all contact, when normally it's 50/50

 

It sucks when people go cold like this. Way too many passive people in this world who think it is just too easy to fade than to be honest. If it was usually 50/50 but then all the work is on you, he seems to have checked out. Write him off.

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Look, people are going to tell you to "chill out" and " it's only two months, that's WAYYYYY too soon to get invested and expect a guy to give a fck about you and text you every day"

 

bullsh*t.

 

Look, I know a LOT of guys; if a guy is CRAZY about you, he'll text every day, even just once. Everyone has a cell phone. If you were on his mind, he'd call or text once a day.

 

After two months, a guy knows if he's head over heals for a girl, and MOST GUYS who are nuts about you WILL text once a day ish, UNLESS they are the type who likes space; in which case, 2 days tops would be it for them.

 

 

 

This guy is not all that into you, because if he was, he really wouldn't go this long without contact.

 

2 months is not an excuse; ALL The dudes I know that are crazy into their girlfriends were WELL on their way to falling in love by the 2 month mark.

 

Please write him off and ignore further contact from him.

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Looks like the typical "ghost move" to me. This same thing happened to me. It's amazing how cowardly people have become these days.

 

He's not initiating, he drops off conversations and doesn't restart them. He's basically trying to say, "take a hint."

 

I wouldn't call him, or text him again.

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Ruby Slippers

He's not that interested. He might be receptive to your advances if he's bored - but he doesn't see you as someone worth making much effort for.

 

This may sound harsh, but if you come to terms with the simple truth of the matter now, it can save you a lot of wasted time later.

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He's not that interested. He might be receptive to your advances if he's bored - but he doesn't see you as someone worth making much effort for.

 

This may sound harsh, but if you come to terms with the simple truth of the matter now, it can save you a lot of wasted time later.

 

 

As I said before, you will hear people on here and in real life who tell you to chill out and it doesn't matter if a guy doesn't text you every day or even every second day, because they have lives and it is only 2 months in.

 

The thing is, if a guy is that interested in you, he will make more of an effort than merely texting you every few days.

 

There are a VERY small percentage of men who are crazy about you yet will just not text much at all.

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Texting has made it so easy for people to have lazy relationships. You never really have to face the person and have an actual conversation, and you can simply disappear if you want to break up, which is apparently what has happened here. If he cared at all, he would make an effort to call or meet up. Also beware of any text crumbs he may send later on. It's so easy for the ex to send countless crumbs via text because they don't require any real effort.

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Thanks everyone!! I don't care if he doesn't want to see me anymore. Like you all have said - he's taking the cowardly way out - that's what annoys me!! I just wish people would have the manners to say it to others when they don't want to see them anymore. I feel like pulling him up on it!!

 

Leigh 87 - I totally agree with you and fully believe that if a guy likes you he will let you know, regardless of time frame! He won't sit around waiting for your calls.

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You know what, after a couple of dates people can fade. You just have to suck that up, people are rude.

 

But after 2 months? I don't think so. You have a perfect right to not let him get away with not ending things properly. I'd be telling him that in no uncertain terms. And I'd be telling him he's a cowardly sack of s h!t if he still avoided me, and to not even think of calling me 6 months down the line when he's all horny and lonely because his latest girlfriend got a puncture and deflated.

 

Then I'd go to a bar and snog a stranger.

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A conversation is in order in my opinion.

 

I think the simplest and most effective thing would be to just call him and tell him how you feel.

 

Tell him calmly that you've noticed a drop in communication on his end, and that you would like to know if there is a specific reason behind it. Advise him that it has made you question things a bit, and that if he has anything to tell you, that you would like him to be upfront and simply do so.

 

His answer should give you what you need. Putting an end to the speculation and swirling thoughts you seem to be experiencing should give you relief. Don't dwell on it any longer - just call him and have a chat.

 

He might be doing the slow fade or playing games, but that doesn't mean that you should. Confront him and find out what's up, and then proceed accordingly.

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He might be doing the slow fade or playing games, but that doesn't mean that you should.

 

^^^

Yes, the key word being might. It's also possible his thumbs are sore or he's used up the txt quota on his plan for this month. Just quit making such a hurriculean effort to interpret and attach meaning to every little thing. Take the initiative - make him feel the way you want to feel instead of assuming he's doing the fade. I'm not saying it's not possible, just that you shouldn't make that assumption.

 

I'll tell you... as a man I can assure you that we get tired of being expected to always be the ones to initiate, always having our actions or inactions second guessed, extreme passivity combined with big expectations is just nuts.

 

Have the talk if you feel you need to push this one way or the other, but don't make up stories in your head that presuppose a particular outcome.

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