Col1 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Do heterosexual couples still get along fine if one believes that same-sex couples have a right to a relationship/marriage/adoption while the other is against that? Can they agree to disagree? Or should you just not ask out someone if s/he has a vocal opposite opinion from yours on this issue? Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I couldn't do it; in fact, this very issue was the beginning of the end for a 2 year relationship I was in. (He hadn't been honenst with me prior). To me, this is a human rights issue. I wouldn't be able to be with someone who chooses to jugde, discriminate, and accept withholding rights from any person. Although, a high school friend of mine is with a man (long-term, they have a child) who considers homosexuals to be "mentally retarded". She does not feel that way at all, and is very laid back and accepting. I don't get it, at all. Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Shouldn't be any problem at all. Added bonus: guys like this really know how to keep their linens white, if you know what I'm sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Col1 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) Although, a high school friend of mine is with a man (long-term, they have a child) who considers homosexuals to be "mentally retarded". She does not feel that way at all, and is very laid back and accepting. I don't get it, at all. Maybe differences in opinion on this issues don't matter in a heterosexual relationship since it doesn't directly affect them? Perhaps it would stand out more if one of them had a gay friend or family member. Edited October 24, 2013 by Col1 Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who disagrees with same sex marriage. To me it is a issue of equality and human rights. I could not be with someone who thinks it ok to deny people those things based on sexuality. This will be one of the defining issues of our generation. When people look back in 50 years they will think what were those people thinking on the side against same-sex marriage. Just as we look back now and think what were those people thinking about keeping races segregated. Basically this all boils down to discrimination for no good reason. Good news the world is moving towards acceptance and these sort of outdated views will become irrelevant within the next decade I believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Col1 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Some religious people will continue to cling tightly to their anti-gay stance since The Bible says homosexual acts are sinful. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Some religious people will continue to cling tightly to their anti-gay stance since The Bible says homosexual acts are sinful. Of course they will. However more and more countries and states are legalising same sex marriage, so these views will become redundant. They can huff and puff all they want but change is happening. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) Maybe differences in opinion on this issues don't matter in a heterosexual relationship since it doesn't directly affect them? Perhaps it would stand out more if one of them had a gay friend or family member. You don't have to know someone personally to take a stand and speak for what is right. Everyone deserves equal rights, period. Some people take the "out of sight, out of mind" approach. I think that's very ignorant. If one person in the relationship feels strongly about this issue, I would imagine the other must not care strongly enough about it, or about speaking out. As for those citing religion as a reason to discriminate, God = Love. It's that simple. Edited October 24, 2013 by ScienceGal Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Some of my closest friends are gay, married and have kids together - so yes, it would be a HUGE issue if my man had a problem with acceptance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Col1 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 I support gay rights, but am not vocal about it. There is this lady in my social circle I like a lot. We have much in common and a spark. She hints at doing an activity together, just the two of us (hinting at a date). However, she has a Facebook comment that "same-sex relationships are wrong." Someone else replied "What???," and she just briefly posted it was her right to have that opinion. Well-handled, but still her opinion bothers me a little. I'm confused on whether to proceed. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Maybe you should be vocal. And not just about this, but about who you are. Your likes/dislikes, your passions. And what else is she all about? Are you really compatible? Also, you sound young. My suggestion would be to think and learn about what's important to you and what can/can't be compromised in a relationship. Really listen to your heart, and don't get distracted by a cute face or the appeal of just having someone to be with. There are a lot of people to be with, the trick is finding a good match for you. The sooner you sort this out, the better. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) It would be a deal-breaker for me. It's a human rights, human dignity issue. We're in the year of 2013 and if Christendom has taught us anything in terms of social issues, is that it is inconsistent and often-times antithetical to Christ's own teachings. Admittedly, I debate this issue internally. But, in the end, the logical and just thing to do is allow the legal bonding of two individuals of the same sex. I may not agree with the lifestyle, but that doesn't stop me from supporting the rights that every human being should be entitled to. Edited October 24, 2013 by soccerrprp Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 A disagreement on gay rights would most likely be a symptom of a larger issue. It would mean we probably disagree on a whole host of social/civil issues, and that would be an issue for me. I also tend to think that most who are vehemently opposed to gay marriage are religious, and that would also be an incompatibility for me. Thirdly, as an employee of the beauty industry I have many gay co-workers, acquaintances, and friends, and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't think they deserve the same rights that we do. Link to post Share on other sites
Mailman Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I think you should probably be on the same page when it comes to something like this. You'll find that there are going to be other issues that you'll disagree with if you disagree on this one. I support the traditional marriage view, and it stems from my Christian beliefs. My wife is a Christian as well, if there is one issue that I wouldn't want us disagreeing on, it would be Christianity. But if you disagree on that, chances are you are going to disagree on a whole host of other social issues that either conflict or are consistent with Christ's teachings. So yeah, you probably should talk to your partner and find out what their opinions are all about. Which you should be doing anyway. To be honest, whether the gay marriage disagreement is an issue or not may or may not be a deal breaker. Depending on how strongly one feels about it. I think people in our society today don't have a clue what the word "tolerance" means anymore. For whatever reason that word has evolved to the point where we all have to agree with what everyone else believes or else we are intolerant. Incorrect. True tolerance means you can disagree with someone's opinion, but still respect their right to have one. Name calling, ranting and raving because someone disagrees with you.........yeah, not tolerance at all. So if you have that understanding in your marriage, to agree to disagree, then I think you can be okay when it comes to a social issue. But with religion, no, I think you both need to be on the same page with that. Link to post Share on other sites
theothersully Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Do heterosexual couples still get along fine if one believes that same-sex couples have a right to a relationship/marriage/adoption while the other is against that? Can they agree to disagree? Or should you just not ask out someone if s/he has a vocal opposite opinion from yours on this issue? It doesn't matter with any couple or even among friends. The key to a successful relationship at any level is respecting the other person's thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 It isn't a deal breaker in my mind. However, NOT respecting your other partner's views on this issue or about a million others that define a relationship, now that is a deal breaker in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
ConstantVoyager Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 My boyfriend and I disagree on this issue. I'm pro gay marriage and he's pro gay civil unions, but not marriage. It bothers me, but I've mostly gotten over it since I've seen him interact with my gay friends with respect. It has caused more discord in our relationship than any other single issue. Link to post Share on other sites
MercuryMorrison1 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I think I would struggle with it. I don't see anything wrong with same sex marriage or adoption, I see it as a matter of basic human rights which is a measure of someone's moral fiber in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 It's all fun and games til she starts decorating your Christmas trees with little swastikas... Link to post Share on other sites
AMusing Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 A couple summers ago I realized the guy I had been dating was just a "little bit" homophobic (His words: "I'm ok working with a gay guy, but I wouldn't want to, say, do something alone with one of them."). Of course, he was against gay marriage. I couldn't handle it; like others have said, to me it's an issue of equality--of basic human rights--so I broke up with him. Sure, I could try to avoid sensitive topics, ignore homophobic digs, and keep my mouth shut when the topic does come up, but why would I want to? Relationships are hard enough work between two like-minded people; why be in a relationship that is even harder than normal? I obviously don't need a carbon-copy of myself, but shared world views make it more likely that we'll be able to stick together (and be happy together). Also, people throw the word "intolerant" around too easily: "You don't want to be in a relationship with a bigot?!? Ugh, you're so intolerant." Well, ok, by definition, it is intolerance. But then, almost all of us are intolerant of, say, child abuse, neo-Natzism, animal cruelty, etc. I'll argue that sometimes, it's good to be "intolerant." Link to post Share on other sites
pyramid Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 It is a deal breaker for me. I have friends in all different types of relationships (gay, straight, open, communal, etc etc) and if my partner isn't accepting and welcoming toward those that I'm close to... it's not going to be a good match long-term. Link to post Share on other sites
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