Gamergirl1 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Right - need a point of view. I've been chatting to a guy on Facebook (we've been in the same fitness class for 2 months) for a few weeks now, talking back and forth every day. There have been a few times when I've not responded and he's sparked up a conversation again. I've never seen him outside of class and we don't talk very much in class. We've recently been joking about online and I joked he owed me a drink so we've been arranging to meet up. I admitted recently I liked him online. He said he thought I was cute but nothing could happen as he takes his classes really seriously, and since we're in the same class, he wouldn't want to mix that with his personal life. But he said he'd still like to meet up for a drink to get to know me. Is he blowing me off, but letting me down gently? Because I could easily just stop going to that class, but if he's actually not interested them it'll be a waste of my time and make me look desperate! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 when soemone says what he said take it as a no.....no go...he is letting you down gently...best wishes...deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gamergirl1 Posted October 20, 2013 Author Share Posted October 20, 2013 when soemone says what he said take it as a no.....no go...he is letting you down gently...best wishes...deb So I shouldn't bother going for one drink with him? I just don't understand why he keeps talking to me and wants to go for a drink if he properly means 'no'. Men are odd! Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 So I shouldn't bother going for one drink with him? I just don't understand why he keeps talking to me and wants to go for a drink if he properly means 'no'. Men are odd! No to dating. He might sleep with you if given a chance though, maybe after you've had a drink or two. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 You're talking CrossFit, right? Haha... I get the conventional wisdom that "he's not that into you". I never take this predate talk too seriously though. Go to the drink with him. You never know. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 He's playing games. He's looking to hook up NSA. You meet for a drink, he tries to convince you into his bed or yours... doesn't work, it was just a drink, and he has his fall back - nothing could happen as he takes his classes really seriously, and since we're in the same class, he wouldn't want to mix that with his personal life. Now, if he does like you, he can reverse his stance. I normally don't do this but I'm going to make an exception for you. See his play here? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Yeah, he's not interested in dating you. Anything out of work is fair game, so the "I have to focus on working out" is an excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 He's likely hoping the drink leads to easy sex. He's not interested in you for more. I'd move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Go for the drink if you want, keep your legs closed. If he's hot he is used to women approaching him & used to getting no strings attached sex from them. Telling women you don't want a relationship with them does not mean they won't have sex with you. Most will still do it because they think the guy is hot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Is he blowing me off, but letting me down gently?100% positive that's what he's doing. Forget him. Good for you for taking a risk and asking him, though. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 I'd never be able to look a guy in the eye agin without laughing if he told me "I like to take my fitness class seriously" Working out should be fun. This guy sounds like a bore. I bet he's crap in bed too. Most of the good-looking dudes tend to have ED. Find someone fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 He's not that into you. At best: he finds you attractive and likes your personality, yet has no inclination to date you. I think he probably at least like you somewhat, or he wouldn't talk to u or even agree to have you on Facebook. He probably thinks you're alright. He likes chatting sometimes. If he really liked a girl from his class, he'd definitely not let her slip away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Have the drink and chat. If you really like him and he likes you, change classes whether it's just sex or more. Either way it would be awkward to be in the same class as it would be if you worked together. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 He said he thought I was cute but nothing could happen as he takes his classes really seriously, and since we're in the same class, he wouldn't want to mix that with his personal life. But he said he'd still like to meet up for a drink to get to know me. Is he blowing me off, but letting me down gently? He could be rejecting you nicely, or his attitude could actually be genuine. I've thought about this myself. Let's face it - most of the time, a date or relationship isn't going to last a lifetime. And when it ends, now you're stuck in a situation where you see your ex several times a week. This is why many people don't date coworkers. One thing is certain - he's more interested in a happy experience at his class than in dating you. It doesn't necessarily mean he isn't interested or wouldn't date you otherwise, but he likely isn't VERY interested... if he was then he'd probably do it. Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 i'd say go for the drink but don't have any expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gamergirl1 Posted October 21, 2013 Author Share Posted October 21, 2013 I'd never be able to look a guy in the eye agin without laughing if he told me "I like to take my fitness class seriously" Working out should be fun. This guy sounds like a bore. I bet he's crap in bed too. Most of the good-looking dudes tend to have ED. Find someone fun! To clarify, it's not just gyming, it's martial arts. He told me he used to be quite big, drunk lots and smoked drugs. He said he turned his life around this year and goes to about 4 different martial arts classes a week and I can tell how seriously he takes it and how much it means to him. I decided I'd go for a drink with him but wouldn't let myself get attached in case he did just want to be mates but tonight he flirtily said to me (again, talking online) about checking me out in class. Why?! Link to post Share on other sites
hudson701 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 lol Can you not see he's just looking for a rub? I've done it. All men do it. Once he's in your knickers his interest level will decline rapidly. Move on unless you're interested in a FWB situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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