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Introducing kids.....younger Vs older


mammasita

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Would you wait longer to introduce younger kids (9ish and younger) or older kids (10-12 and up). I know thats not a huge age gap.....but for example - I have a 12 year old, he as a 4 year old.

 

Just wondering what people think.

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How old is the relationship?

Oh its not even official yet - I'm just curious.

 

I mean do you think there is a difference in the mindset of the kids??

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I think the 4-year old would be extremly resilient. The 12-year old, I'd tread lightly with.

 

I concur. The 4-year old can be "fooled" into thinking that it's all a play date(s) and eventually have little or nor emotional connection provided the relationship hasn't been going on too long. But introducing a 12-year is a whole different story. He will know and be much more impressionable.

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TheBladeRunner

I have a 3 -4 month rule w/ my daughter meeting who I am dating. Good question though OP, never thought about the kids meeting. Thanks!

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I taught a fun kids fitness class for 3-6 year olds before I moved. I still hear from the parents about the kids getting upset I'm not there anymore. They get attached easier than you think they do.

 

I'd be hesitant to introduce anyone to a child. Extremely. Until it's likely forever they sure wouldn't be a date but a friend, and the friend act might be harder to pass on a 12 year old... but I'd hold off even on the friend.

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I think the issue with the younger kids is attachment; with the older kids, it's much more complicated. They have stronger opinions about whether they like someone or not, the are jealous/protective, and nosy!!! I'd be inclined to introduce older kids a little sooner if the relationship is looking serious... if there is major dislike of each other for some reason, better to know sooner.

 

As far as the kids meeting each other? That's definitely easier if they are closer in age. 12 & 4 is tough. I'm in a situation now where it's 10 & 6 and I think we can still get away with a trip to the zoo or something, when everyone is ready of course.

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