Jump to content

Why has she gone quiet after our date?


David_Marsh

Recommended Posts

I had a second date with a girl the other day and since she has been very quiet.

 

It wasn't a perfect date but it seemed to go quite well. We spent 4 hours with each other, had a good laugh and got to know each other better on a more personal level.

 

Basically, I thought the date went good enough to invest more time getting to know each other and setup a third date.

 

After the date, i text to say I had a good time and she replied back to say the same. I sent her a general text the following day, it took her 24 hours to reply back and she has not replied back to my message after that one and it's been 36 hours now.

 

I'm not sure if thiis is her dropping her interest. The date went well I be very surprised if this was the case. The only other thing I can think of is that because I did not make a move during the date she is backing off.

 

Do girls do this? Even if the date goes well they will go quiet on you because you did not make a move?

Link to post
Share on other sites

not all women do this........making a move on a first or second date isnt a necessity...as long as you have fun and a good time i dont see why she would not text you back....maybe she is busy....deb

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks, I thought it may be an unlikely reason. I'm aware she is quite busy with something but you always find time to contact the person your dating.

 

I thought the date went pretty well but maybe she was just being friendly or fake and during the date she made her mind up this ain't going any further.

 

I usually let my date know within 24 hours if I'm still interested or not. I would never ignore someone like this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Call her to ask her out again. Texting is weak.

 

Four hours is a great date! I totally agree with Ruby Slippers. Call that woman right now!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Beware that everyone advising to call her is showing their privileged experience of dating socionormative 9 to 5ers. I've known many women - known many people in fact - who were so busy, so involved in classes or shift work or working somewhere banning phones, looking after children all night or flat out switch their phone off when they don't want to use it themselves, that they would only be able to take a call at random times, so most of the time your call would go unanswered or might even annoy them. Calling people out of the blue can backfire on the caller. The better option in my opinion is to text and ASK WHEN you can call them, if you don't already know for sure. You can save yourself potential embarrassment or dead ends, trust me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, call her if you want to see her again, no texting. If she does not respond to the call/ voice mail, then she's not interested and move on.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I had a second date with a girl the other day and since she has been very quiet.

 

It wasn't a perfect date but it seemed to go quite well. We spent 4 hours with each other, had a good laugh and got to know each other better on a more personal level.

 

Basically, I thought the date went good enough to invest more time getting to know each other and setup a third date.

 

After the date, i text to say I had a good time and she replied back to say the same. I sent her a general text the following day, it took her 24 hours to reply back and she has not replied back to my message after that one and it's been 36 hours now.

 

I'm not sure if thiis is her dropping her interest. The date went well I be very surprised if this was the case. The only other thing I can think of is that because I did not make a move during the date she is backing off.

 

Do girls do this? Even if the date goes well they will go quiet on you because you did not make a move?

 

You spent too much time on your date. If the first date went well you need to shorten the second. It'll put doubts in her mind you like her. If you reveal too much about yourself you will kill the attraction.

 

You need to have short sets of good dates. Too long and there's too much for her to think about.

 

T.V shows are much less longer...And they have cliff hangers...Why? Because they want viewers to keep tuning in. If you give her the whole series in two epsiodes she's seen it all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
You spent too much time on your date. If the first date went well you need to shorten the second. It'll put doubts in her mind you like her. If you reveal too much about yourself you will kill the attraction.

 

You need to have short sets of good dates. Too long and there's too much for her to think about.

 

T.V shows are much less longer...And they have cliff hangers...Why? Because they want viewers to keep tuning in. If you give her the whole series in two epsiodes she's seen it all.

 

This is not my experience. I have had some marathons of dates and all of them resulted in future dates and progression. I suspect that your over-all assessment of the date was different from hers. She likely didn't think it was all that engaging or fun. Not b/c of the length (maybe in your case it was :)), rather, she may have seen that you two were not so compatible after all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
This is not my experience. I have had some marathons of dates and all of them resulted in future dates and progression. I suspect that your over-all assessment of the date was different from hers. She likely didn't think it was all that engaging or fun. Not b/c of the length (maybe in your case it was :)), rather, she may have seen that you two were not so compatible after all.

 

 

That's what I've heard...Not experienced...so far..lol

Link to post
Share on other sites

In my opinion a 4-hour date is a good sign, and I LOVE it, when a guy texts me that evening saying he had a great time. In fact, if I don't hear from them until at least noon the next day I assume they are not that interested and back off.

 

Her not replying to your text for 36 hours is a bad sign though. What did you write in it? Maybe she is waiting for you to ask her out again and your text was just general 'hope you are having a good day' and she is not sure if YOU are interested in her.

 

My advice would be to either call or text her (whatever form of communication you usually use with each other) and ask her out for a particular day and activity. For example: 'Would you like to go for dinner and drinks Saturday night?' Her answer or lack of it will tell you whether she is interested or not.

 

Good luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

my general text was just asking how did her day go blah blah. I was goiing to call her that night to ask her out for the 3rd date but she didnt reply back to my general text till 11 so I thought i would leave it untill the next day and just continue with another 'general' text. But she has not got back to me.

 

I called last night - she did not answer so I left a text. I asked her to call me back so we can setup a time for another date.

 

Maybe I should have been a bit touchy with her during the date. I could have asked her for the 3rd date during the 2nd or asked her on the next day but i was not expecting her to go quiet on me like this.

 

I think i was being 'friendly' rather than flirtatious but it was just the second date. We are very different, I'm just looking for us to get a bit more conmfortable before 'making a move'

 

Arghhhh

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry about it David, if she likes you the fact that you did not make a move won't turn her off. Though in my book it is always good to make it clear that you want another date straight away. Like, mention it during the date and then ask her out the next day or so.

 

Since you called, left a message and sent a text the ball is definitely in her corner. Don't contact her again, but wait to see if she gets in touch. If you don't hear from her within 2 days I would take it as a sign that she is not interested and move on. Sorry.

 

Good luck either way!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh no! Why did you call? People: she hasn't replied his texts!!! Why would you think she will pick up the phone?? Gosh sometimes the advice is worst.

 

Stop the contact, or you'll screw up totally. If she hasn't replied: she is not interested anymore. Now you seem clingy and needy. Turn off. Ugh

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Still not heard from her - she obviously not going to get in touch again.

 

We were talking alot on the phone inbetween dates. Just can't understand why she could not send a message to say she's not interested anymore rather than blanking me. I'm more bothered by that then her not being interested.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, OP, I can relate to what you are saying. The worse part is just "wondering" what happened and not hearing back from them... I would much prefer a "I don't feel the connection, but, thanks anyway" type message. I think that is more respectful then not responding at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Still not heard from her - she obviously not going to get in touch again.

 

We were talking alot on the phone inbetween dates. Just can't understand why she could not send a message to say she's not interested anymore rather than blanking me. I'm more bothered by that then her not being interested.

 

 

Welcome to the world of modern dating. Many people find it easy to just fade out than be honest and direct. Go have a few beers with a bro or two and lament.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Still not heard from her - she obviously not going to get in touch again.

 

We were talking alot on the phone inbetween dates. Just can't understand why she could not send a message to say she's not interested anymore rather than blanking me. I'm more bothered by that then her not being interested.

Sorry it didn't work out.

 

I agree that no response at all is very rude. I wouldn't want to date a person who didn't have at least that much courtesy, so no big loss.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...