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Overthinking...


Jadedbyluv

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I met this guy on an OLD a little over a month ago, and we've been on a couple of dates. He is not someone I would typically date but I'm definitely interested in him. My problem is second guessing his interest in me due to my own self-doubt.

 

Last week, we went out on a date and had an amazing night. Since he was asking me all the time on dates, I thought I would ask him to do something last Sunday. He said yes but called me on Sunday saying he would have to reschedule because he wasn't feeling well. I said that was fine. The next day he asked if I wanted to get together later in the week. I said yeah but he never mentioned when. Yesterday he still hasn't said anything about getting together so I casually mentioned something to him. He said he wasn't sure when he would be free. Me over thinking things, I start to wonder if he still wants to get together. From some past experiences, this sort of thing has happened before and the guy ends up just fading away. I'm already assuming he is doing the same thing and I don't want to think like that.

 

Am I overthinking things? How can I tell if he is genuinely interested in me?

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Philosoraptor

He may be interested since he suggested going out another day. But don't put all your eggs in one basket until you have some sort of exclusive commitment with this guy.

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I try to go on other dates. I gave up on OLD because it just isn't me. Don't meet a lot of other guys to go on dates with. I did have a date planned for last week with another guy but got stood up. It's tough out there.

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I'd move on and start dating others. He's either a flake or simply isn't that into you. Trust your instincts here. When I first date a girl that I really connected with, I WANT to see her as much as possible.

 

Like raptor said, with OLD, it's best to have several fish on the line until one turns into an exclusive dating relationship.

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Seems like he's withdrawing, yes, I don't think you are overthinking it. Be less available. How many dates have you been on? Did you have sex?

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We've had 4 dates. No sex. He texts me every morning telling me to have a good day and he has even said he really likes spending time with me. But actions speak louder than words.

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Start dating other guys, like others have said, or take up some new hobbies and become as busy as possible, even if it means missing some of his texts.

 

Also, if a guy asks you out, don't say, "Sure," say, "Sure, WHEN are we going out?"

 

If he tells you he doesn't know, tell him he better get back to you quickly, because otherwise you might be busy. And then actually be busy doing other things.

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He is not someone I would typically date but I'm definitely interested in him.

 

Can you give more info on this?

Sometimes what you feel (that he might not be a guy you typically date), can be transpired to the other person.

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Can you give more info on this?

Sometimes what you feel (that he might not be a guy you typically date), can be transpired to the other person.

 

He isn't my typical type physically. I'm attracted to him. But I wouldn't usually go for a guy like him.

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He isn't my typical type physically. I'm attracted to him. But I wouldn't usually go for a guy like him.

 

Then why sweat it? He probably picked up on this and does not want to be a "second pick".

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PutARingOnIt
We've had 4 dates. No sex. He texts me every morning telling me to have a good day and he has even said he really likes spending time with me. But actions speak louder than words.

 

Yes. If he says one thing but his actions tell you otherwise, it may be time to start dating other guys.

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The concensus is I should date other guys. Should I forget about him completely?

I think not yet, if he actually comes around and starts making an effort to schedule actual dates promptly and progress things like they should progress, AND you are still into him, is good. If not, you have other options.

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Maybe he picked up on the fact that you're not overwhelmingly into him?

 

At first sight, I wasn't knocked over by his looks. However, I am attracted to him. I know I might not show complete interest sometimes bc I'm guarded.

 

I'm just so confused because we've had some really great dates and great conversations. It's the first time in a long time I've opened up to someone. If he just disappears like some other guys, it will really suck.

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Nah, it doesn't matter that he "picked up" blah blah. You showed enough interest, messaged him first etc. If he is into you, that would make him pursue you even harder. Just distance yourself and see if he pursues, then you have your answer. You invited him a few times now it's his turn.

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