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Together 3 years..and still no commitment


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Old 10th June 2004, 1:19 AM   #1
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Unhappy Together 3 years..and still no commitment

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OK...I need some serious advice..

Here's a brief history:
I'm currently 22. My boyfriend is 29...30 in September. We will have been together 3 years in September. It took him a year and a half to tell me that he loved me (and it took me almost breaking up with him then for him to finally say it). All around us, friends of ours are getting married, having kids, etc., and it's driving me nuts. This is both the longest relationship either of us have been in. He currently lives in a "bachelor pad" with two other guys.

I finally brought up the issue of us moving in together. His response? "I'm not ready for that. I need my space." I haven't delved deeper into it to determine more fully what he means, or what he actually thinks about our relationship (where is it going, etc.), because I'm scared to find out the answer, although I think I probably already know.

We spoke a few months ago, and I had asked him if he thought he was "missing out" on dating other girls, etc., and he said no...but he did say that he felt like he was making our relationship one-sided at times (yes, it's true, he is and does)...and that he just wanted to "see how things go between us" (I think we're a little past that part..).

So...I'm stuck. I love him, I enjoy being in our relationship, but it's reallly starting to feel like it's never going to go anywhere except where it is...and a part of me feels stupid, and hormonal for wanting all of these things when I'm probably not ready for them all yet (marriage, kids, the whole caboodle).

Any advice, ideas, suggestions, comments, thoughts? Thanks!!
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Old 10th June 2004, 4:21 AM   #2
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lol, a frown in the post subject and 2 big ass grins in the body

so what is your dilema again? You want to get married but only sorta? Cuz you aren't sure you're ready to get married? I'm working off your last para. Kinda cracked me up..."hey you want to marry me or not. I don't really want to and all, just wonderin'. Thought it'd be kinda coo!"

hehe
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Old 10th June 2004, 11:15 AM   #3
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I didn't tell him that I wanted to get married..it's crossed my mind, but I'm not 100% sure that's what I'm looking for at this time.

I did talk to him about us moving in together, and he doesn't want to...he "needs his space."

I think what I want right now is more of a commitment from him...and if he's not ready to give that, I want to know that he's at least seriously considering it.
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Old 10th June 2004, 11:33 AM   #4
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Why bring it up until you know for sure that it is what you want?

As for 'needing his space' sometimes that is all it is and other times it is a way of pushing you away and a sign that he is not sure he wants to be that committed to you. Decide for yourself which it is.
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