how do you interpret this?

[BluEyeL]

1.5 months ago I went to a singles mixer. It was my first meeting with that group and they just read us the rules and we went around the room, introducing ourselves. At the end, about three guys were talking to me, one in particular was very chatty, asking me a ton of questions, and seemed interested, but didn't ask for my phone number and I left after talking to him for about 10-15 minutes because I live 1h away from the event place. About two weeks later, I went to another event of that group, where I met the guy I've been dating since. Anyway, today I'm getting this message from the guy at the first meeting, and I'm just curious if this is a message that someone who's interested to know me in particular, would send, or is just a polite effort to make more people participate in their events. I'm just curious on how to interpret and don't know what to answer. Background, I'm Eastern European:

 

"Hi L, We haven't seen much of you this year. I thought of you last weekend when I met N. at the Fox & Hound Social. She's Russian, but actually moved here from Moldova. We have another woman, S, that is Turkish, but lived in Kazakhstan and possibly another former Soviet republic. I haven't met any eastern European men, but I'm sure there are a few.

 

If you're feeling energetic give Sunday sand volleyball a try. We play from 3pm to about 6pm and usually wind up with a dozen or so having dinner somewhere in Fishers. Do NOT worry about inexpericence. The quality of play is LOW.

 

Have a great week! "

[SoulJazzBlues]

So the guy you were chatting too was one of the event organizers?

 

It sounds like he is just trying to drum up extra people to go to his events. I mean, all he is mentioning is other women and men.

[BluEyeL]

I am foggy on whether or not he was an organizer. Anyway, yes, that could be. Then I'll answer that I'm dating someone, and that's why I'm not participating much This is a singles group.

[sillyanswer]

"Hi L, We haven't seen much of you this year.

 

Use of "We" doesn't sound like a personal message of interest.

[Babolat]

I am curious, what is asingles mixer and how does one find them? Was it awkward going?

[BluEyeL]

I am curious, what is asingles mixer and how does one find them? Was it awkward going?

 

Well, might be awkward, depends on your personality, but remember that everyone is in the same boat as you there.

 

More specifically, in my case, there is a meetup in my area (Indianapolis), is called "Indy Singles over 40". When you join the group, they have periodic "new members meetup", where they read the rules, tell you about the group and you introduce yourselves to the people in the room. I went there, it felt sort of like a work meeting at the time, not too awkward, of course, new people and all. That's when that guy who contacted last week chatted me up after the rule reading and introductions, but I left in 10 minutes. After 2 weeks, they announced another "Socializer", it was at a local bar, went in there, it's just people, you mingle, talk to them. That's where I met the guy I've been dating for six weeks now and is going really well.

 

Previously I've been doing OLD for 5 months with lots of dates, but only 1st and 2nds, didn't work out for me. Within going to the meetup just twice I got someone I really dig Btw, I told my guy about that email, and as a result he suggested that I leave the group. I would, but I'm not sure if he left the group and I'm not sure how to ask him, I don't want to unilateraly leave the group. So it's another version of "did he delete his match.com profile?" :pExcept for the meetup, as long as you're not going to events, I think being a member carries less weight. We both deleted match.com profiles, we were both there too.

[BluEyeL]

I am curious, what is asingles mixer and how does one find them? Was it awkward going?

 

You can go to your local meetup page and see if you find singles groups. Of course you can join other interest groups, but for other interests you never know if women there are available or not, at the singles groups you know that they are pretty much available.

 

And update on the email, I told the guy I haven't participated because I've met someone, and he replied that as long as I'm single I should still participate and bring my boyfriend too, bc. it's supposedly an "activities group" not a dating group. Whatever, I think most people come there with the agenda of dating, or at least this is the only reason I went, so not going to go until I'm really looking again.

[Babolat]

I am very familiar with meetup.com and have joined a few. Mostly outdoorsy type ones, like biking, hiking, kayaking, etc.

 

The singles ones feel kind of cheesy to me and I have yet to meet one woman I am even remotely attracted to. And, it feels like a lot of men "hunting or searching" if you will...I dunno, maybe it's just not for me.

 

When I show up it's as if the men are competing with me and most will not even talk to me, which I find very odd as for the most part I am there to meet men and woman, to make new friends. I will try to make conversation with the men and they stare at me like "what the heck are you doing here?".

[BluEyeL]

Yes, I also felt some sort of "dirty looks", for lack of a better term, or unfriendliness, from other women. But in any case, based on what you're saying, it seems that I've been lucky then. Since it worked out right away for me, I was like Halleluja, meetup rocks, forget OLD!!