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Is it common to "dry hump" on a first date?


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Actually this wasn't exactly a first date because we had coffee together once before, but this last time I went out for dinner with a very nice, well off business man who is divorced with two daughters. I am 33 and he is 52.

I didn't think we had that much in common because I am in the arts which he admitted to not knowing much about while he calls himself a "merchant" who "knows how to provide". We had a nice dinner and light hearted conversation then he showed me his house which was just around the corner. He showed me all over the house then we sat on a sofa in the living room and he wanted to snuggle up to me. I was a bit stiff because I really didn't know him that well and didn't feel an immediate physical attraction. Every so often he would "accidentally" brush his hands up against my breasts then he actually grabbed them and I gently told him this was "too fast" and I didn't know him well enough yet. He jokingly told me that we were just "playing and checking out the merchandise".

At one point I was lying on top of him ( I don't know how I got there!) and the next thing I know he starts dry humping me! It was so weird because I actually felt sexual pleasure! I had no idea I could get turned on like this especially with a man I hardly know. I controlled the situation when it got too hot and heavy by saying I'd better go home now because it was better not to get carried away and to "wait" for a good thing if ever that should happen.

I'm just wondering how common this is for people to do on first dates as I've never done it before. Would you say "dry humping" is more sexual that kissing on a first date? He wanted to kiss me on the mouth but I told him I couldn't do that with a person I'm not in love with because it's too intimate. Just would like your feed back on this situation. If I had stayed over is it possible we would have ended up having sex?

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I'm glad you stopped yourself from doing something you might have regretted with someone you hardly know. It isn't that uncommon for guys to dry hump girls on dates, etc. They are basically trying to get you in the mood as well. It's an interesting experience and is much more physical than just a kiss. It is a very sexual act, to me anyways. I think it could have been possible that he wanted sex, but you stopped it, which is a good thing!

 

If I had stayed over is it possible we would have ended up having sex?

That would have been up to you and him! It could have been very possible that you two might have had sex, but I don't know because I'm not you. You pulled yourself away from a situation, so I'm thinking you would have done the same if you stayed over.

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Originally posted by sagweee

Would you say "dry humping" is more sexual that kissing on a first date? He wanted to kiss me on the mouth but I told him I couldn't do that with a person I'm not in love with because it's too intimate. Just would like your feed back on this situation. If I had stayed over is it possible we would have ended up having sex?

 

I think that kissing is much more intimate a thing than "dry humping". I must admit, that similar things have happened to me with first dates in the past, but not very often at all. If you had stayed over, it may have been possible that you might have had sex. There is really no way to know for certain, but I believe you handled yourself well in stopping further actions. I think you would have stopped him had you stayed longer, had he pressured for sex.

 

Remember that you are in control during these situations, and you never have to do anything that you are uncertain of. You alwayas have the right to say "No" and "Stop" and to leave if you feel uncomfortable. It seems that no matter what our age, we men can sometimes be troublesome in these situations. Best of luck to you. Just remember that you are in control, and that I feel you handled things quite well :)

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befuddled11

You admitted that you don't know him very well.....yet you went back to himself and "somehow" (yeah, right) ended up on top of him, with him dry humping you....then you MANAGED to end things and you left.

 

I don't know where you're from, but where I come from, it's not really smart for women to put themself into potentially risky situations. And you don't "tease" men and get them all hot and bothered, then "leave." You're lucky this guy wasn't a rapist. Ever heard of date rape? If you don't know someone very well, you're admittedly not physically attracted to them, don't feel you have very much in common.....you sure as heck don't go back to their place unless you're asking for trouble. And yeah, any guy who dry humps ya on the first date is a few bricks short of a load. (pardon the pun)

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I think that a man making overt sexual gestures on a first date id really innappropriate. I think that even if you've known them for a while it's not really cool. Not for a first date...and I don't quaility coffee as a date...but everyone is different. If sex is brought up anywhere on the first or second date, ie kissing or fondling I think it should only be because it was intiated by the woman. Some one grabbing my breasts on a first date will likely get cut (laughing) - no but seriously, he'd probably end up with an elbow and I think that it was incredibly curde for him to say "just checking out the merchandise" afterwards. Eww.

 

 

Dry humping is only appropriate when the two involved feel it's ok. but I wouldn't be interested in having it done period by someone I hardly knew and whom I wasn't physically attracted too either. I agree that you are likey that this guy wasn't a rapist or worse and that you were able to control the situation before you did something you'd have regretted.

 

 

I think that dry humping is more sexual than kissing but kissing is more intimate - it that makes sense.

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average guy

I've actually had two seperate women "dryhump" me! And when I said I'd be happy to get naked and do the real thing, they made some excuse about not wanting to go all the way. I think dryhumping is quite funny (it reminds me of a poodle on someone's leg) and find absolutely no harm in it for men or women (that is unless they go up to a complete stragner and start doing it like a poodle! :)

 

Cheers,

 

A.G.

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Originally posted by average guy

I think dryhumping is quite funny (it reminds me of a poodle on someone's leg) and find absolutely no harm in it for men or women (that is unless they go up to a complete stragner and start doing it like a poodle! :)

 

LMAO!!! Good one. :laugh:

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"Just "playing and checking out the merchandise"???????? :rolleyes: And you say this guy is in his 50s? He sounds more like a horny 16 year old to me. He doesn't sound like someone who's going to show you much respect, based on how he treated you on your first date.

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This is so silly but I keep fantasizing about the dry hump and it is making me horny to see this guy again. I'm supposed to call him today to see if we will go out. I don't have much in common with him, don't even have much conversation. Just want to do this activity again!

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I can't believe you are 33! You sound like a teenager! You must be really inexperienced.

 

Only be alone with this man if you want to have sex with him. He will have sex with you very easily. Of course if you slept over you could of had sex!

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