Girls:Is it common to keep #'s of guys you used to date?

[monkey00]

Just curious because while me and my gf was out yesterday, she told me this guy she had dated a few times before me had called her yesterday. She didn't pick up but he left a voicemail. Then she showed me his name on her missed call log. Granted she was trying to make me jealous.

 

I know it's common to keep Ex's in address books but what about people you've dated briefly?

[jeni4566]

I might if the relationships ended on a good note. But her showing it to you is not great. She may just doesnot know how annoying it is, but now is the best time to kill her bad habit of talking about her exes. If you tolerate it, she may innocently mentions it again and again. I hate it when a guy I date mentions his exes, so I imagine guys would feel the same when a girl mentions her exes. Set the boundary now. It will help the relationship go smoother later.

[thefooloftheyear]

Totally inappropriate and very immature..

 

TFY

[candie13]

I keep track of the guys I've slept with, not guys I've dated, that would be... challenging .

 

To answer your question, I've ended things on ok terms with my dates of last year, so yeah, I still have their details. I won't parade them on my current date's nose, though... However, if I have a bf and I trust him, and one of my past dates decided to call me, yes, I'll mention this to my bf, irrelevant if I get to speak to him or not.

[Treasa]

I don't. When it ends, I'm done.

[Emilia]

I know it's common to keep Ex's in address books but what about people you've dated briefly?

 

I'm good with numbers so I remember them for years to come. Don't need them in the phone

[pyramid]

I keep them. I am good about not contacting them, but I have had situations where they have accidentally texted (whether it's a real accident or not) and I like to know who it is. The real jerks all get their numbers saved to an "*******" contact. They don't get to keep any individuality.

[candie13]

I'm good with numbers so I remember them for years to come. Don't need them in the phone

 

I've had a few of those, as well ! You know how I can remember their details? I kept deleting and re-entering their contact in my phone so often, that I remember how the numbers look together.

 

I'm unable to tell you their telephone number, but I can recognize them instantly. So nope, those are not in my address book... but I remember them. both of them!

[Emilia]

I've had a few of those, as well ! You know how I can remember their details? I kept deleting and re-entering their contact in my phone so often, that I remember how the numbers look together.

 

I'm unable to tell you their telephone number, but I can recognize them instantly. So nope, those are not in my address book... but I remember them. both of them!

 

Yes I deleted and re-entered some but I'm also good at recognising patterns - which can be a curse! It's like remembering an annoying song

[iris219]

I rarely delete numbers from my phone. It's just something I don't think about.

[Treasa]

I'm good with numbers so I remember them for years to come. Don't need them in the phone

 

Same here, but I try soooo hard to forget them.

[sillyanswer]

I rarely delete numbers from my phone. It's just something I don't think about.

 

Same here, and by this point it seems like too much effort to tidy up my contacts.

[Archgirl]

I rarely delete numbers from my phone. It's just something I don't think about.

 

Same.

 

In fact flicking through my phone about 2/3 are guys I dated.

 

I have no intention of contacting them again, I just havent bothered deleting them.

[monkey00]

I might if the relationships ended on a good note. But her showing it to you is not great. She may just doesnot know how annoying it is, but now is the best time to kill her bad habit of talking about her exes. If you tolerate it, she may innocently mentions it again and again. I hate it when a guy I date mentions his exes, so I imagine guys would feel the same when a girl mentions her exes. Set the boundary now. It will help the relationship go smoother later.

 

We both have somewhat of a bad habit of talking about/bashing exes. Real exes not people we went on a few dates with. But I agree about certain boundaries. I thought it was extremely weird this guy she had ended things with when she met me decided to contact her. On top of that she even still had his contact saved in her phonebook. I did play it off and bashed on her a bit asking if she always keeps people she's dated in her phonebook. I was clear it and told her that I don't. On top of that I also told her she didn't have to be so nice, because she responded to his call with a close ended text...

 

Obviously jealousy won't help me. In most cases though I learn to brush things like this off. Still it bugs me she still had his number saved..kind of like keeping backups around in case. Would it be wrong of me to tell her to delete the number?

Edited May 3, 2013 by monkey00

[monkey00]

I keep track of the guys I've slept with, not guys I've dated, that would be... challenging .

 

To answer your question, I've ended things on ok terms with my dates of last year, so yeah, I still have their details. I won't parade them on my current date's nose, though... However, if I have a bf and I trust him, and one of my past dates decided to call me, yes, I'll mention this to my bf, irrelevant if I get to speak to him or not.

 

Yeah I would prefer if my gf tells me such things. I would do the same. I hate secrets and would not want her to keep any from me. Definitely acceptable to hear about an attempt being made by ex/old date. But also that thy don't reciprocate to them that would injure our relationship.

[crederer]

How long have you been together? Maybe she was just showing you so she didn't feel like she was hiding the fact that he called her. I've been in her exact situation. My ex texted me on a regular and I'd show my girl all of the texts just so she knew what was up. It wasn't to make her jealous, it was to show how I wasn't hiding anything and that the conversations were not at all in anyway inappropriate.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping in touch with ex's from time to time. Obviously not on a regular basis but if it was a decent break up. Hearing about milestones or tragedies that they are going through, and being there for them from a distance if need be.

[soccerrprp]

With exes where no further contact is needed, wanted, I delete all signs of them. All Emails, email addresses, numbers, history of texts, etc. Just my way of moving on and not looking back if desired.

 

Why in the world would you show communication from an ex to your current friend? Not cool.

[Archgirl]

With exes where no further contact is needed, wanted, I delete all signs of them. All Emails, email addresses, numbers, history of texts, etc. Just my way of moving on and not looking back if desired.

 

Why in the world would you show communication from an ex to your current friend? Not cool.

 

That's exes - you need to go NC to get over them.

 

I haven't cared enough about any of the guys I've dated (as in gone out on a handful of dates with/casually dated for 3 months or less) to have to do that- there's no temptation to call them and no healing process to disrupt if they contact me.

 

I'm just lazy. That's a hell of a lot of numbers to delete one by one. I'd rather play on LS :bunny:

 

OP she's not keeping back-ups, she's just lazy

And I agree with the posters pointing out that she may just be being honest and open about the contact with the ex -otherwise why would she send the close ended response? If she wanted to make you jealous why not keep it open with him so she could use him to make you jealous again in future?

[RedRobin]

Yep, the numbers stay. I've made the mistake of deleting, then having them call some time later down the road and me picking up, not knowing who it was.

 

Made that mistake with the guy here fondly known as Mr. Sexy Talk...

 

after I picked up, his slew of never ending phone calls and stalking started afresh.

 

So yea... all the numbers stay. So I know who to ignore.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yep, the numbers stay. I've made the mistake of deleting, then having them call some time later down the road and me picking up, not knowing who it was.

 

Made that mistake with the guy here fondly known as Mr. Sexy Talk...

 

after I picked up, his slew of never ending phone calls and stalking started afresh.

 

So yea... all the numbers stay. So I know who to ignore.

 

 

Havent you ever heard of blocking someone?? Cell phone 101..

 

Delete contact, block number...End of story.

 

Something tells me some of you people have other motives or why bother, really?

 

TFY

[monkey00]

Yep, the numbers stay. I've made the mistake of deleting, then having them call some time later down the road and me picking up, not knowing who it was.

 

Made that mistake with the guy here fondly known as Mr. Sexy Talk...

 

after I picked up, his slew of never ending phone calls and stalking started afresh.

 

So yea... all the numbers stay. So I know who to ignore.

 

True. But why would you respond or answer your phone from numbers you don't know? I almost never unless I expect a phone call in advance. If its from someone important and they really need to contact me, they should leave a voicemail telling me who they are.

[Archgirl]

Havent you ever heard of blocking someone?? Cell phone 101..

 

Delete contact, block number...End of story.

 

Something tells me some of you people have other motives or why bother, really?

 

TFY

 

True. But why would you respond or answer your phone from numbers you don't know? I almost never unless I expect a phone call in advance. If its from someone important and they really need to contact me, they should leave a voicemail telling me who they are.

 

Ok guys maybe don't berate the victim of stalking huh?

 

Like it's normal to assume people are calling you with malicious intent.

 

Shall we get back on topic now before we all get our knuckles rapped hmm?

[monkey00]

How long have you been together? Maybe she was just showing you so she didn't feel like she was hiding the fact that he called her. I've been in her exact situation. My ex texted me on a regular and I'd show my girl all of the texts just so she knew what was up. It wasn't to make her jealous, it was to show how I wasn't hiding anything and that the conversations were not at all in anyway inappropriate.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping in touch with ex's from time to time. Obviously not on a regular basis but if it was a decent break up. Hearing about milestones or tragedies that they are going through, and being there for them from a distance if need be.

 

I agree to a degree. Exes are one thing. But honestly I care nothing about people who I've been on a few dates with or dated briefly. And that's who the guy was that contact her. Someone she went on a few dates with months ago. But I feel like she has a problem being too nice to people sometimes. In most cases people don't deserve a response at all, particularly in the latter sense.

 

She's a loyal gf and I trust her. We've talked marriage and moving in so we are pretty serious. But it's strange she brought it up to me and asked my opinion what I thought about it from a guy's perspective, kind if like instigating jealously.

Edited May 3, 2013 by monkey00

[soccerrprp]

I understand the rationale for keeping the numbers, but don't want any accidents. You know, accidental text, accidental phone call to an ex....also, I have a policy....if there's a number I don't recognize, I don't answer it. If it's important, you'll leave a message with name and purpose.

[PogoStick]

How many will keep numbers of a guy you called it off with after a few dates, thinking you may want to give it a second chance down the road? There is a girl or two I'd love to hear from in 6 months saying the time just wasn't right, but I know it's pretty unlikely.